By Sarah BarkleyPublished on July 16, 2017Last modified August 05, 2021
Your sex appeal goes well beyond your physical appearance. While the way you look does play a role, there is much more to it.
Each time you interact with someone, your personality and behavior boost your attractiveness just as much as your appearance.
People become attracted to your behaviors and mannerisms, boosting your sex appeal. Your level of attractiveness doesn’t depend on luck or anything else. Anyone can increase their appeal by implementing a few new habits in their life.
Behaviors That Enhance Your Sex Appeal
The best behaviors that boost our sex appeal are ones that allow us to remain classy. You don’t have to modify your physical appearance or compromise your comfort to be more attractive. Instead, things like selflessness, confidence, creativity, openness, and other aspects play a role.
1. Showing a Sense of Selflessness is Sexy
Each time you do a selfless act, you boost your sex appeal in the eyes of others. Studies show that helping others increases attractiveness and inspires a good mood within. Since happiness increases attractiveness, being in a good mood will quickly boost your appeal.
Plus, when others see you being selfless, you instantly become more attractive to them. Helping others lets potential partners know that you have a nurturing nature, which most people consider a sexy attribute. Selfless behavior also shows people that you will be caring towards your partner as well.
If you aren’t sure where to begin when it comes to helping others, consider things you are good at. You can help an older person with grocery shopping, mentor children, or volunteer at a homeless shelter or hospital. It doesn’t matter what you choose to do, as long as you practice selflessness and help others.
2. Be A Sexy Stranger
Research shows that familiarity is less desirable in a mate than unfamiliarity. Being more attracted to a stranger is because of the unconscious effort to have genetically diverse children. Being a sexy stranger requires a little mystery and emotional control.
When you hold back a little, it creates a fantasy in the minds of others, heightening the experience and emotions. In the early stages of attraction, over-revealing things about yourself and your feelings can decrease your sex appeal. Some of the things you can do to be a sexy stranger include:
avoid posting everything on social media
stay active with your own goals and hobbies
don’t reveal your feelings too soon
take things slow so that the sexual tension simmers
practice indifference if you feel rejected
encourage the other person to talk
avoid talking about negative topics at the beginning
don’t send too many selfies
avoid texting more than once if they didn’t respond
3. Tapping into Your Creative Side
Creativity is one of the best ways to boost your sex appeal. Your creativity can be focused on art, music, film, dance, or any other creative outlet, and it’ll help in many ways.
First, creativity is linked to intelligence, which is something many people find attractive in a partner. Creative people tend to have deeper and more meaningful conversations, which is an ideal trait.
Creativity also indicates good genes, which most people subconsciously look for. Plus, creative people can express their feelings and desires better than other people. Find a creative outlet and let your mind flow as you boost your appeal.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Like an Open Book
You can be open without revealing too much about yourself in the beginning. When you’re around others, maintain positive body language that makes you open to others. Keep your arms uncrossed, stand up straight, keep your chin up, and your shoulders back.
Maintaining good posture and positive body language will make you approachable and boost your sex appeal. Plus, an open body posture will subconsciously convey your romantic interest. Think of it as adjusting yourself to take up more space than you typically do.
Don’t look at your phone too much, either, as it makes you seem closed off and unavailable. The more approachable you are, the sexier you seem to others.
5. Take Control of Yourself
Being in control of yourself boosts sex appeal because it makes you seem powerful, mysterious, and independent. Start by taking control of your emotions by not lashing out when someone has a different opinion. You can also show emotional control by not repeatedly texting someone when they aren’t texting back.
Striking up a conversation with someone and breaking the ice is a good way to take control, too. You can also develop strong plans rather than wait for the other person to come up with something. When you can take control instead of waiting around, you’ll instantly seem sexier.
Additionally, you can make yourself feel sexy by wearing something that you feel confident in. Taking control of your appearance is a sure way to boost your sex appeal quickly. Spend time grooming each day, too, focusing on hair, skincare, and oral hygiene.
6. Confidence Is Key
Confidence stands out more than any other characteristic, making it an effective way to boost your appeal. If you’re comfortable in all situations, other people will notice and be attracted to your confidence.
If you want to flirt with someone, do it boldly while keeping eye contact. Practice self-assurance and make yourself stand out. Speak confidently to let the other person know you are interested without saying it directly.
Making decisions with confidence is a way to boost sexiness, too. Trust your instincts while listening to input from others but remain confident with the decision you think is best. When you know what you want, others will be sexually attracted to you.
Eight Things That Might Hinder Your Sex Appeal
While there are things you can do to boost your sex appeal, things make you less attractive. Many of these traits and behaviors will surprise you, and you might even realize you’re guilty of some.
1. Not Getting Enough Sleep
Research shows that sleep-deprived people are less attractive than those that get an entire eight hours of sleep. People that don’t get enough sleep experience pale skin, red eyes, and drooping eyelids. Additionally, lack of sleep causes dark circles under the eyes and can make someone look sad.
2. Stress
High levels of the stress hormone cortisol make people appear less attractive, giving you plenty of reason to relax a little. Researchers explain that it’s because people with low cortisol levels indicate fertility and health, which potential partners subconsciously look for.
3. Lacking a Sense of Humor
Researchers at the University of California at San Diego determined that not having a sense of humor makes someone less attractive. Even an average sense of humor makes you less attractive if someone with a great sense of humor is nearby. Making people laugh increases the likelihood that they will like you.
4. Being Lazy
A lazy person is less attractive than those that work even an average amount. Researchers asked students to rate their peers, and those that were uncooperative, not hardworking, or lazy were deemed less attractive. Even if an individual was considered sexy or good-looking at first, they were rated as unattractive in the end if they were lazy.
Being lazy also typically means someone doesn’t have a passion in life, contributing to their lack of appeal. Potential partners want to know that you have goals and strive for self-improvement.
5. Lying
Dishonesty has a major effect on perceived attractiveness and likability. Research from the University of Western Ontario shows that lying has more of an impact than unintelligence and dependence. Many people find it hard to respect someone that lies, making it impossible for attraction to occur.
6. Drinking or Smoking too Much
Research shows that people who drink alcohol and smoke frequently are less attractive than those that do it occasionally. This evidence was more prevalent in those considering long-term partners.
7. Being Mean
Mean or spiteful people are less attractive than nice ones, and this surprising fact is backed by research. People want to feel respected and appreciated, and mean people can’t offer that kind of behavior.
8. Bad Grammar
This trait is often overlooked when someone wants to boost their appeal, but it plays a role. Studies show that bad grammar, both online and in-person, reduces levels of attractiveness.
Not only does incorrect grammar indicate a lack of education, but it also indicates a lack of interest. Some people even consider bad grammar to be lazy behavior.
Final Thoughts on the Six Behaviors That Boost Your Sex Appeal
Your sex appeal is so much more than your physical appearance. While physical attractiveness does play a role, you can boost your sex appeal in quite a few ways. Practice these behaviors, and you’ll become more comfortable with them, naturally increasing your attractiveness.
Not only will other people find you sexier, but you’ll feel better about yourself, too. When you feel better, you’ll be happier and more confident all the time. It’ll take practice and self-control, but it’ll become easier the more you do it.
Sarah Barkley is a lifestyle blogger and freelance writer with a Bachelor's Degree in Literature from Baker College. She is experienced in all things related to parenting, marriage, and life as a millennial parent, but loves to learn new things. She enjoys the research that goes into a strong article, and no topic is off-limits to Sarah. When she isn't writing, she is immersed in a book or watching Gilmore Girls. Sarah loves reading classic novels but also enjoys a good thriller.
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