One of the most destructive human emotions is anger. No matter what you do, you cannot reason with an angry person because they are controlled by emotions instead of logic during that moment. As the person on the receiving end, you might be tempted to respond with anger, but that will only make things worse.
So what do you do? First, be very calm and try to control your emotions, especially if you love that person.
Then, follow these anger management strategies:
1. Be Patient and Don’t Say Anything that Might Fuel your Partner’s Anger
It’s always best to allow your partner to be angry and let it all out. Don’t try to confront them because that will only make them defensive. Instead, listen to everything that they have to say and remain composed as you do so. Your partner’s anger is more likely to subside if they see that you are calm.
2. Make Your Point Known in A Respectful Manner
There are always two sides to every story, and once your partner has finished venting, try to make your partner understand your point in an assertive and respective manner – don’t shout at them or raise your voice. This way, they can also take responsibility for their actions.
3. Make the Communication Constructive
Even as you try to assertively make your point, make sure that the communication is constructive. By constructive, I mean two-sided. In anger management, you should acknowledge your partner’s point of view even if you don’t agree with them. This way, they will know that you were listening, and they’ll be more willing to hear your point of view.
Anger may be your partner’s way of expressing his or her fears and pain. Although they may not admit it, anger creates a mask that makes them feel powerful and less scared. Out of all the anger management tips, compassion is the best way to handle this situation. Showing love to your partner lets them know that you’ll always be there despite their inner worries.
5. Practice Restraint
If you know that your partner is someone that easily gets angry, you should avoid discussing certain sensitive topics with them. No matter how passionate you are about that subject, sometimes it’s just best to put your partner’s needs before yours and avoid the topic altogether.
6. Know Yourself
Apart from avoiding certain topics, anger management demands that you know yourself. Does your behavior influence your partner’s anger in any way? Find out if there are behaviors that your partner doesn’t like and try to rectify them.
7. Talk When You Are Both Calm
Perhaps you also get angry easily, and you end up fighting with your partner for hours. If that is the case, step aside and allow yourself to calm down. Ask yourself if the anger is worth it. After you calm down, wait for your partner to do the same before you approach them to talk things out.
8. Don’t Try to Control Your Partner
Anger management is about influence, not control. If your partner disagrees with you about a certain point and they get angry, don’t try to change them. Instead, try to explain to them the advantages of your point of view. Be sweet and welcoming as you do this; that way it becomes easy to convince them to support your opinion.
9. Mind Your Location
Anger management is also influenced by the location. If you find yourselves arguing in an open place such as the parking lot or an arena, be the responsible one and move your partner to a closed location such as a restaurant or a grocery store. Your partner will calm down since people are less likely to misbehave in such places because they don’t want to be embarrassed.
If the argument goes on and on, and you don’t seem to find a common ground, it may be time to call a timeout and resume the conversation another time. There’s no point entertaining a conversation that goes nowhere. You are better off doing something more productive with that time.
In case you’ve been wondering how to deal with your angry partner, you can use the above anger management tips to handle the situation better and make your relationship last longer.