A Narcissist is a selfish, self-absorbed, and arrogant individual who craves admiration and attention. They use their physical beauty and natural charm to manipulate others into fulfilling their desires. These desires are usually superficial and short-term. Narcissists cannot hold a relationship for very long, perhaps a few months, before they are bored and seek attention elsewhere.

A narcissist knows they are a jerk and doesn’t care as long as they are admired. They don’t care about you and don’t like you. After all, there is only room for one person in their heart, and their excessive self-love already takes that spot. So what do you say to a marcissist who is trying to manipulate you into serving their needs?

9 Comebacks for dealing with a narcissist

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1. “No.”

It is ok to say no if you feel uncomfortable with someone. It is ok to say no if you don’t feel good doing something. It’s ok to say no if you don’t feel comfortable with how someone treats you. It is ok to say no. You are the captain of your life, not someone else, and you alone are the master of your fate.

2. “Stay on topic and don’t change the subject.”

A narcissist will use any argument to make it about themselves and some mistake or hurt in the past that you have inflicted on them, whether real or perceived. They will try to steer the subject away from their selfish actions and toward something that will make you feel guilty. Don’t let them. Please keep the discussion on topic and move where you want it to go.

3. “I will believe it when I see it.”

Narcissists have a terrible habit of over-promising and under-delivering. Don’t get your hopes up if they make outlandish promises or overstate their importance, influence, wealth, or skills. They will promise you the moon. Just make sure you see the deed in writing and get it notarized by two people first. They will make these promises to manipulate you emotionally, so keep your emotions and expectations under control until they deliver on their promises.

4. “I’m not overly emotional. I am assertive, strong-willed, and passionate.”

Don’t let someone else define your emotional state (unless licensed medical professionals). A narcissist will try to undermine your faith in your own emotions and rationality. Keep calm and focused, and if you start to lose your cool, walk away for a bit until you are thinking clearly.

5. “I have learned from and moved on from my mistakes.”

Learning from your mistakes is the key to success in work and life. Everyone makes mistakes, and you are no different. A narcissist will damage your self-esteem by constantly bringing up your failures or mistakes. Own your mistakes. Learn from them, and no one can use them to hurt you or cause you to doubt yourself.

6. “I refuse to be afraid.”

Fear can be a powerful manipulation tool, and a narcissist will wield it like a sword. They will cut you down and render you helpless. One of the most influential and empowering things you can do in your life is to face your fear. Fear can cripple you physically and emotionally, or it can drive you to success and greatness. Look your fear in the eye and draw strength from it.

7. “Slow down there, Speedy.”

Narcissists and other manipulators want to rush you into a wrong decision that benefits them—the ultimate pushy salesperson. Recognize when someone is running you, and tell them to slow down. Don’t ask them to slow down. Tell them. This is your decision. Take your time and look at all the angles. Is this what is best for you? Or them?

8. “I am not the bad guy here.”

Narcissists will try to flip any argument or disagreement into why you are the bad guy, and they are the sad minor victim. In reality, it is the other way around. If you point out a mistake or deficiency in their work, they will play the victim and make it into your persecuting them. Take control of the narrative and refuse to blame their mistakes. They made a mistake; they need to own up to it and fix it.

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9. “The world does not revolve around you and your needs.”

Narcissists are the center of their universe, but they are not the center of yours. Relationships are about giving and taking and doing things together. But if you only do whatever they want to do and never what you want to do, then you need to get out of their orbit and explore your universe. Do your own thing, and live the life you want.

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