Nobody wishes that they had less passion in their relationship. But you may be doing one of these five things that can kill whatever passion you two had left. Let’s make sure that doesn’t happen and you can keep having the amazing life together  that you always wanted.

5 Things That Kill The Passion In A Relationship

being compassionate

1. You can kill the passion in a relationship by criticizing your partner.

There are some people who don’t have mental hangups about their body, but a lot of people do. Your partner might be self-conscious about their stomach, thighs, thinning hair or even the cleanliness of their breath. Treading lightly on these topics is important to prevent hurting feelings.

Imagine how you would best like to be treated if you were self-conscious of your body and give that same care to your partner. Speak lovingly of the body parts that they feel badly about. We all have bodies and very few of us are perfect.

The same is true of criticizing your partner for their actions during the day. If you complained about the breakfast, lunch, and dinner that your spouse prepared, you can bet that you won’t have a passionate evening in bed.

2. You can kill the passion in a relationship by declining your partner’s advances too often.

When one of you is in the mood and the other is not, the declining partner has the final say. But, declining intimacy too often pushes away the person with whom you hope to be intimate in the future and can make an emotional barrier to future advances.

In a research study of the reasons that women give for declining desire in a relationship, the women reported these three reasons for less passion: the formalization of the relationship, over-familiarity with their spouse, and the desexualization of roles in their relationships.

These women seemed to feel that their husbands stopped seeing them as physically intimate beings due to the boredom and routine of a passionless marriage. Women also seemed to stop desiring their husbands due to feeling more like kin than an intimate partner.

3. You can kill the passion in a relationship by not being totally honest with your partner.

Intimacy can mean exposing yourself in a vulnerable way to another person. You want to feel safe, secure, supported, and loved. If you have anything less than complete honesty with your partner, intimacy can be less than passionate as a result.

A woman who is worried that her partner might have been flirting with someone else when she finds a suspicious text is not likely to want to be vulnerable with them. Knowing that you can trust your partner deeply allows you to be more open to them. The same is true for a man with regard to how his partner protects his emotions.

4. You can kill the passion in a relationship by letting other things interfere.

Job, school, kids, shopping, cooking, cleaning, sleep…just like we do with other areas of our life, if we want a passionate relationship, we have to make time for it. If you or your partner is in the mood but there’s not enough time before you have to go to work, take the time anyway. So you show up to work without ironing your shirt’ You have a great reason for it.

If you truly want a more passionate relationship, look for every opportunity to increase your intimate time together and when the opportunity strikes, even for just 5 minutes, don’t hesitate

In a 6 month study of satisfaction in a marriage, researchers found that both men and women’s expectations of the amount of intimacy and quality of their lives together as newlyweds acted like a self-fulfilling prophecy for later in their marriage. If they expected great times together, they had great times later on. If couples expected that they would be intimate often, they did.

Does this mean that all you have to do is expect the best from your relationship and it will be a more passionate relationship? No but having positive expectations for it is a good starting point. Since your desire to have more passion is there, you will prepare and act in ways that support your desire being fulfilled.

5. You can kill the passion in a relationship by not having enough energy.

Rest is important for a healthy relationship. If you are too exhausted to be intimate, you need to get enough sleep so that you aren’t killing the passion in your relationship. However, exhaustion can also be an excuse for avoiding intimacy.

Check your level of energy with this mental test: If someone offered you something for free that you really, really wanted (a favorite food, money) but it was a half-mile jog away, would you run for it right now? If so, then you aren’t too exhausted.

Are you worried that the death of passion in your relationship might be a sign of other problems? Read 6 Signs Love is Leaving Your Relationship for more guidance.