There are people that are so likeable and charming that people will do just about anything for them. How is it that these people can naturally get others to bend over backwards for them?
Well, they do some things differently than the rest of us.
Napolean Hill, author of “Think and Grow Rich,” wrote an essay called Develop a Pleasing Personality, where he explored what set these very likeable people apart and allowed them to achieve incredible success. He found that these five things set those exceptional people apart from the rest of us regular folks.
5 Things The Most Likeable People Do Differently
1. Be Positive and Let Others Feel Your Positive Attitude
Not only are extremely likable people positive in their attitude, but they let others feel that attitude through their words and actions. Be aware of negative thoughts when they surface. Acknowledge those negative thoughts for what they are. Negative thoughts keep you in shackles and hold you back from achieving your full potential.
People can pick up on these negative thoughts through voice intonation, body language and the content of your words. If you see yourself or your endeavors in a negative light, then so will others. If you maintain a positive attitude about yourself and your work, then it will show through and others will see you in a positive light and be more willing to help you.
2. Speak in a Disciplined but Friendly Tone
Your tone of voice can win people over or push them away. By moderating your voice and speaking in a friendly tone, you will let your positive attitude and outlook influence the moods and outlooks of others. If you project friendly vibes, then those vibes will be reflected back towards you. People will naturally tend to mirror those around them.
If you are positive, then the group of people you surround yourself with will rise to your level of positivity. If you are negative, it can bring down the mood of the group you are speaking to. Also, don’t let the enthusiasm of the moment and the energy of the group you are talking to lead you into outbursts of emotion. Maintain your friendly tone and don’t let yourself get carried away in the moment.
3. Maintain Your Composure
There used to be a deodorant commercial whose tag line was “Never let them see you sweat.” It is easy being friendly with people who are already friendly to you. It is much harder to present a friendly face to people who are hostile towards you or your goals. No matter how hostile or rude the person is that you are talking to, always maintain your composure; never lose your cool.
Savvy negotiators will try to get under your skin, because when you are emotionally upset, you make mistakes. Your judgment is clouded when you lose your cool. When everyone around you is losing their minds, you should maintain your composure no matter what. Be the calm eye of the storm.
4. Pay Close Attention When Others are Saying
Instead of just waiting to reply to something that the person you are speaking with is saying, pay attention to exactly what they are saying and how they are saying it. Sometimes body language will give away information about a person’s state of mind or their unspoken desires. Body language can indicate interest in what you are discussing, or boredom and disinterest. If you are paying attention, you can see when they’re saying they’re interested in a topic, but their body language says they are not.
People generally like others who are interested in the same things they are interested in. So, if you are showing a genuine interest in what they are saying, they will more likely to be friendly towards you and more receptive to what you have to say in return. We attract like-minded individuals by how we relate to them.
5. Praise Others
Everyone likes to be told how wonderful they are. But, people can tell when someone is blowing smoke up their rear-end. Learning how to praise others without overdoing it is a key skill if you want others to like you and find you genuine. No one likes a glory hound. People who steal other people’s recognition as well as arrogant and boastful people are widely despised.
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Honestly praising someone for their genuine accomplishments can engender a powerfully positive opinion of you. If you overdo it, though, people will think of you as a spineless sycophant. By praising others in a genuine fashion, you put them at ease and make them more receptive to your proposals and ideas.