No matter how strong your relationship is, there is always room for improvement. Maintaining your relationship isn’t a chore you cross off your checklist. It’s seeing your relationship as your number one priority. Part of this means keeping the spark in your romance to avoid falling into a rut. This is more than a big romantic event that happens once a year. It’s the little daily habits, or mind tricks, as some like to call them, that can make your relationship go from boring to beautiful.
Five Mind Tricks That May Improve Your Relationship
Here are some little daily habits or mind tricks to improve your relationship.
Mind Trick #1 – Schedule time to talk
Life is hectic. You may be busy with school, work, and the kids. Good chance, the two of you barely have time to talk about anything besides who’s dropping off your daughter for soccer practice or who’s picking up dinner. If you don’t schedule a time to speak, it won’t happen. Having an hour or two together every week to catch up with one another is essential for the health of your relationship. It’s a simple mind trick that reaps big rewards.
Every week at a scheduled time, stop what you’re doing and spend time together to talk. Put the kids to bed, pour two glasses of wine, and sit beside each other on the sofa. Share how you’re doing. Ask one another questions. Start with the mundane stuff like how your work is going and then move to more profound questions that spur conversations.
Here are some mind tricks you might try:
- What are you most afraid of?
- What’s the best food you ever ate?
- Which physical feature do you love about me?
- If we could live anywhere, where would it be?
- What’s one thing you’d like to change about yourself?
- What’s your most embarrassing moment?
- Describe me in two words?
- Describe yourself in two words.
Mind Trick #2 – Say thank you, and please
You may practice good manners with your co-workers and friends but slip up when you’re around your partner. It may sound cliche, but using good manners around your partner shows them respect. Saying things like “thank you” or “please” can make your significant other feel loved. Greeting them when they get home from work is another simple mind trick that shows you care. Your greeting can make them feel glad to be home and as if someone appreciates them. Let’s face it; it can be a rough world. Showing your partner respect, love, and care helps buffer the hardness of life and makes your home a lovely place to come home to.
Mind Trick #3 – Show affection
A healthy relationship doesn’t miraculously happen. It takes effort from both you and your partner. As some like to call it, a straightforward habit or mind trick that breathes life into your relationship is showing affection: a simple caress or kiss as you pass by expresses love. Physical affection deepens a romantic relationship.
Some suggestions for showing affections include these mind tricks:
- Holding hands in public
- Kiss before you leave, and when you come home
- Love pats on the back or behind
- Flirty looks during the day
- Smiles across the room when you’re in a crowd
- Give little gifts
- Check-in during the day via text or phone
- Say, “I love you” often during the day
Having a healthy, strong relationship with your partner not only affects your relationship. But researchers found that young adults who had families with a healthy, caring family atmosphere while growing up were less likely to get into a relationship with poor problem-solving skills or violence. Positive parental role models helped individuals to have positive interactions with their own families.
Mind Trick #4 – Be vulnerable
Another critical component or mind trick that will improve your relationship is opening up and being vulnerable with your partner. This means dropping your guard and letting them into your struggles, fears, hopes, and dreams. It means allowing your partner to see you when you’re not at your best. When you’re vulnerable, you open up and tell your partner what you need without fear. They will reject you. It can be hard at first, but over time as you build a foundation of trust between the two of you, you can learn to be more vulnerable.
Here are some reasons vulnerability is so crucial in a relationship.
- Vulnerability shows genuine: If you never let down your guard, it comes across as disingenuous and fake. It’s hard to relate to someone who doesn’t open up.
- Vulnerability inspires others: When you open up and share who you are, it will boost your partner to be more vulnerable. Humbling yourself to admit you’re wrong about something will help them recognize their shortcomings.
- Vulnerability cultivates trust: Having trust in your relationship is essential to show vulnerability. As you let down your guard, it will help your partner feel comfortable doing the same.
- Vulnerability takes courage: Being vulnerable means you are strong enough to be authentic. You can advocate for yourself by asking for help or explaining what you need.
- Vulnerability deepens your relationship: A relationship without vulnerability is shallow and won’t last long.
- Vulnerability cultivates forgiveness: When you and your partner are authentic and genuinely repentant about your shortcomings, it makes it easier for you to forgive one another.
Mind Trick #5 – Be committed to the relationship
A committed relationship is one where the two partners work together to maintain the health of the relationship. It’s saying, “We are in this for the long haul.” It’s doing the hard work to keep the relationship strong. Couples who show commitment to their relationship have specific characteristics.
They talk about their hopes and expectations of their relationship:
Couples who talk about where their relationship is and where it will show commitment to the relationship. They’re aware of the strengths and weaknesses of the relationship but want to work hard to improve it.
They make plans:
Committed couples talk about plans such as holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays. They’re committed to celebrating life together rather than apart from one another. If your partner doesn’t want to commit to future events, it could signify that they aren’t as committed to the relationship as you thought.
They put effort into the relationship:
Having a healthy relationship means you are both willing to work towards that goal. It means that both of you will pull equal weight doing chores or errands or child care. You’re eager to discuss the complex things like what your partner does that irritates you or ask your partner what they would like to do differently in the relationship.
They support each other:
A committed relationship means both partners support one another no matter what. They’re in the relationship for the long haul and won’t back down when things are difficult. Both partners would rather face the storm together rather than apart.
Did you know that the more committed you are in your relationship, the greater your health benefits? Studies found that when you work to improve your relationship, it will improve your mental health. Overall, a healthy relationship where both partners are committed to one another is foundational for better mental health outcomes.