It takes work for a marriage to last. Two people who have made a commitment to stay together for better or worse need to properly sort out problems together. A marriage grows strained when only one person is carrying the load of the relationship issues. So, here are some things every marriage needs to be a successful union.
Here Are 25 Things Every Marriage Needs
“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.” – Simone Signoret
- To have the same goals
Couples remain in a long-lasting relationship if they are on the same page, according to therapist Kimberly Hershenson. While they might disagree on certain things or pursue separate interests, they should have the same goals, values, and beliefs when it comes to things like buying a house or car, investing for their future, or raising their kids.
- To have a special place
Couples must have a place they consider most special because they’ve made a lot of memories there. It can be anywhere – the neighborhood park, a restaurant, or a favorite vacation spot – where they relive happy memories and continue to build more moments together.
- To have a tradition
Couples need to celebrate milestones and traditions because these will fortify their relationship. These events need to be in the spotlight every year because they are what makes your partnership unique.
- To look presentable for each other
Physical attraction is still important in a long and enduring relationship. It’s admirable to see how couples make an effort to look presentable for their partner, just like when they were still dating.
- A collection of photos of each other
Your marriage photo is probably what you have on display at home or at your place of work. But if that was taken five or ten years ago, then wouldn’t it be nice to have an updated photo of each other? Why not add a framed photo every year so you have a collection that showcases your years of togetherness? Make this into a new tradition.
- To show each other good manners
Couples often grow comfortable in marriage, but the familiarity may cause partners to forget to say “thank you” or “please” for the little things. Nothing teaches children good manners better than if they see their parents setting an example by showing appreciation for their partner even in the most common situations.
- To believe in “till death do us part”
Every marriage goes through challenges and trials. But the ones that remain standing are the ones with partners who fight for their relationship because they believe that only death can separate them.
- To give way and be giving
Do you give the last piece of the cake to your partner? Does he give way knowing it will make you happier if you watch that romantic movie than an action film together? A good marriage is about giving way to your partner once in a while.
- A bond with other couples
Having regular get-togethers with other couples strengthens your marriage. When you have shared friends, you have the support system from people who understand what having a partner involves, according to relationship expert Dr. Wendy Wash via Huffington Post.
- To apologize and forgive over and over
Saying sorry and forgiving each other many times over isn’t about enabling or tolerance. Rather, it is about letting go of pride and grudges each time relationship issues crop up. It’s about committing to being positive even when there are problems you have to settle.
- To be kind to each other
Remember this the next time you’re in an argument with your spouse: sometimes it’s better to be kind than to be right. Showing kindness helps bring a positive vibe to an otherwise tense situation.
- To respect each other
Even if you argue and fight, you shouldn’t belittle your partner or criticize your partner’s mistakes. Respect begets respect.
- To write love notes
You used to do this when you were dating your partner and it will help keep the romance alive in your marriage. Surprise each other by leaving sweet notes inside her bag or scribbling naughty messages when you hand him the grocery list.
- A clean house
A home that’s tidy increases the happiness and satisfaction of the people that live in it, according to a study of over 2,000 adults in the U.S. When couples are happier and more satisfied, there will be less conflict between them.
- To complement each other in public
It will make your spouse feel good to hear you praise her or brag about him in public.
- To kiss each other “hello” and “goodbye” every day
Be affectionate with your hello and goodbye kisses. You don’t know what’s going to happen when both of you have busy lives during the day, so make sure you connect this way daily.
- To have unplugged days
Occasionally, spend a day together without any access to phones or devices. Couples need to experience this type of downtime, when they have nothing else to do but talk, connect, relate, and interact with each other.
- To have a sense of humor
Couples that get silly with each other are likely to have a successful marriage, according to a study from the University of Kansas. Having a sense of humor in a relationship says so much about a couple’s satisfaction with each other.
- To have time alone
It’s okay for couples to give themselves time alone. They need to pursue their own interests to grow as an individual. If they do the same things all the time with their partner, it could make the relationship boring.
- To take separate vacations
Once in a while, it’s okay to take vacations separately so that you can also experience missing each other.
- To make new adventures
Familiarity in a marriage brings comfort. However, new experiences usher in excitement that every relationship needs, especially the ones that have lasted this long. So, go ahead and try that new restaurant or take a trip some place you’ve never been before. Make new memories and adventures to keep the spark in the marriage.
- To stick to a budget
According to a research by psychologist Terri Orbuch, seven in 10 couples admit that arguments about money lead to tension in their marriage. By having a budget and sticking to it, couples could avoid fighting about money.
- To have patience
Patience is indeed a virtue. A successful relationship has two members who possess unending patience for each other.
- To show selflessness
Selfishness has no place in a relationship. Selflessness defines a person’s ability to compromise and to commit.
- To communicate and listen
Relationships break down when partners don’t make an effort to express what they really feel. Good or bad, couples have to talk about their relationship issues and really listen to what the other partner is saying.
With positive thinking, remember that it will take every bit of yourself to accomplish all these things to make your marriage a success. However, your efforts will be worth it when you’re doing this for the great love of your life.