“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia
Sometimes, when we’ve been with our partners for a long time, compliments can often dwindle. Whether we mean to or not, we may start to take our partners for granted, assuming that they’ll always be there with us.
Even if they will, it’s important to keep our bonds strong throughout the years together because, “when we pay a compliment to someone, we feel better about ourselves by making another person feel better about him- or herself!” says etiquette expert and author Lisa Mirza Grotts. Compliments can turn someone’s day around, and they can also connect you emotionally with your partner again.
Here Are 15 Compliments That’ll Make You Fall In Love With Your Partner
1. Specific compliments
When giving your partner a compliment, you want it to be specific to them. This will show that you appreciate them for who they are, as a unique individual.
“A general piece of praise just doesn’t mean as much to anyone as a more detailed one. By pointing out a specific aspect of another person, it shows that you have taken real interest in them,” says author Michael Davidson.
Focus on a specific thing that they do that no one else does. This will make the compliment so much more meaningful and special.
2. Emotional compliments
Pairing your compliments with specific emotions can make your partner feel ten times better than with just a compliment alone. For example, you can tell your partner that you appreciate the way they cook dinner, because it makes you feel loved and safe. That will give them a burst of affection, as well as point out that you appreciate all the hard work they do.
3. Encouraging compliments
This kind of compliment encourages your partner to continue to do and try new things, or encourage them to get better at things they’re not good at. If your partner isn’t very good at cooking, but they try and make you a meal anyway, it’s important to give them encouraging compliments.
4. Affirming compliments
Giving your partner little words of affirmation throughout your time together will remind them that you really enjoy being with them. Even if it’s been years and years that you’ve been together, remembering to affirm your love for your partner through little compliments can make it easier than ever to fall in love with one another over and over every single day.
5. Unasked for compliments
Don’t wait for your partner to ask for your affirmation. If they’re getting a new haircut or trying on a new outfit, be ready to compliment them on their choices. Your partner may feel like they’re prompting you if they always have to ask for affirmation, and it may start to feel like you’re only saying what they want to hear.
6. Asked for compliments
Of course, compliments don’t always have to be given out at a whim. Even if you should be ready to give your partner affirmation without them asking for it, you should also always be ready to give it to them when they do. If they’re looking for you to say something, make sure that you do. It’ll make your partner feel just as loved as any other compliment.
7. Appreciative compliments
Does your partner always do the washing up, or cooking? Maybe they always take out the garbage or fix things around the house. Whatever it is that your partner does that you appreciate, make sure they know.
“Chances are good that it took some effort for the other person to achieve whatever it is you are complimenting them on. They will like your compliment even more if you acknowledge that effort. It shows that you appreciate what was going on “behind the scenes” to make it happen,” adds Davidson.
Appreciative compliments let your partner know that you’re not taking them for granted.
8. Compliments to foster communication
If you like when your partner does something, and want them to keep doing it, make sure to drop them a compliment! It can be something as easy as, “I like when you [blank] because it makes me feel [emotion].” This makes it easier to let your partner know that you enjoy something, because it’s pairing what they’re doing with making you feel something good.
9. Sexy compliments
Of course, one of the secrets to a good, long partnership is an active and healthy intimate life. Sexy compliments can bolster your partner’s confidence and just make them feel good about themselves. This will ensure that they continue to feel good in the bedroom when you both get intimate.
10. Compliments about your life together
Nothing will make your partner feel more loved and appreciated that compliments about how your life together is the best one that you could have imagined. Let your partner know that you’re glad you married them, or that you’re glad to be living together. Let them know that you’re so happy that they’re in your life.
11. Compliment your partner’s appearance
If you’ve been together for a while, you’ve probably seen your partner in all kinds of stages of life – maybe they’re graying at the temples, or have more laugh lines than they did when you first met. Make sure that you let your partner know that they’re still as attractive to you as the day you met.
12. Intelligence compliments
Letting your partner know that you value their opinions and thoughts on things is a great way to give a compliment that will leave your partner glowing. Complimenting your partner on their appearance is good, but make sure that your partner knows that they’re appreciated for more than just that.
13. Parenting compliments
If you and your partner have children, compliment them on their parenting. Nobody gets everything right the first time, and parenting can be hard at times. But making sure to compliment your partner on how they help parent your children will foster love and affection between you.
14. Off-hand compliments
Complimenting your partner doesn’t always have to be a production. While it can be used to foster communication, and enhance things in the bedroom, it can also be done casually. After all, compliments only take a moment – let your partner know that you appreciate them in all the little things that they do.
15. Intimate compliments
While sexy compliments are good for spicing up your time in the bedroom, intimate compliments are more about affirming how safe you feel sharing that part of yourself with your partner. Letting your partner know what you like and complimenting them on how well they respond to your needs intimately will help the both of your grow closer together.
Relationship therapist Jean Fitzpatrick, LP, says, “Compliments serve as deposits in a couple’s emotional savings account, so that you have a foundation to draw on when tough times or conflicts arise.” Learning how to compliment your partner will make them feel seen, validated and special.
Even if all you’re doing is complimenting something that they’ve done a hundred times – like the way they make tea – falling in love all over again with your partner is a beautiful thing, and the right compliments will make it easier than ever.