As complex human beings, it comes as no surprise that our relationships can get a little complicated sometimes. Throughout the ebbs and flows of life, our relationships can either strengthen, or become a total burden on our happiness.
Relationships should make you feel good and add value to your life, not take it away. If you’ve found that your relationship seems a lot more confusing and muddled than it used to, these tips can help.
Here are 10 ways to make your relationship a lot easier:
1. Make sure to fall in love with yourself first
Like we have said countless times before, you really can’t have a healthy relationship until you learn to love yourself unabashedly and unconditionally. Fall so deeply in love with yourself that you want to shout it from the rooftops, take yourself out on dates, and look at yourself in the mirror and see all that you could ever need. Then, and only then, can you truly love another human being, because you will know the definition of love at your core, and have the capability of offering that feeling to another on a deep level.
2. Be up front with your feelings
No relationship can work unless both people commit to sharing their true feelings in all instances, no matter how difficult. If something bothers you, say it. If you need something from your partner, just ask. It will make a relationship go much more smoothly if you don’t hold back, and instead reveal your feelings and thoughts to your partner at all costs. Most people can’t read minds, so it makes things a lot easier for both of you if you use your voice to express how you feel.
3. Give each other space sometimes
Two people can’t keep each other company 24/7 and remain sane; it just doesn’t work that way, and it shouldn’t. People need room to grow and learn on their own, and create a life outside of their relationship. Make sure to give one another a few nights a week to go out and explore on your own, go out with friends, or even just spend time at home watching Netflix or relaxing by yourselves. Your relationship will only strengthen once you give each other space to become your own person, and you will continue to learn more about each other in the process.
4. Let your walls come down
You don’t have to dress up or look perfect for your partner, because they obviously have stayed with you for much more than your looks. Let them see you without makeup, lounging around in sweatpants and a ratty old T-shirt. Many of us live with this mask on in fear of letting people see our raw, unadulterated selves, but if you want a relationship to last, you have to rip that mask off and let your true self shine through.
5. Don’t allow jealousy to interfere with your relationship
Jealousy can tear any relationship apart, no matter how deep the connection. According to Helen Fisher, PhD, jealousy usually stems from childhood trauma or other psychological issues related to abandonment, inadequacy, or overdependency on others. A little jealousy can actually reignite the flame in relationships, but too much of it can destroy an otherwise healthy partnership. Before you commit to someone, you need to work out these issues beforehand and figure out what causes you to feel jealous. Otherwise, the monster will only reappear in every relationship you have until you determine the root of the problem.
6. Be thankful for the little things
Make sure to tell your partner a simple “thank you” for all the wonderful little things they do for you each day, like waking you up with a fresh, steaming hot cup of coffee, or making you breakfast, or holding the door open for you. Relationships need reinforcement in order to thrive, so make sure to tell you partner just how much you appreciate them.
7. Support your partner no matter what
In any relationship, both people need support from their partner during both the ups and downs in their lives. If your partner needs a shining beacon of light to guide their way during a rough storm, stand by him or her while they navigate through the dark seas. If he or she needs help deciding on an exciting career move, support them no matter what decision they make. Remember, while you both share a life together, each one of you must make you own choices, and you have to allow one another that freedom. However, giving each other support when you need it helps keep the relationship alive.
8. Stand up for yourself
Even though you love and care for your partner, don’t feel like you have to bend over backwards to agree with everything they say. In fact, a little disagreeing here and there can make you closer as a couple, since you can learn from each other’s differing opinions.
9. Don’t try to change your partner
More than anything, accept the ins and outs of your partner, even if they sometimes get on your nerves. Their imperfections make them beautiful, and obviously, you felt attracted to them for their whole soul, not just the more “tolerable” parts. Accept them as you accept yourself, and your relationship will only continue to blossom.
10. Make him/her feel special
Sometimes, relationships can grow stale if two people don’t keep putting in the effort that they used to in the beginning stages of the relationship. Buy him or her flowers randomly, or treat your lover to a fancy date out on the town. Everyone likes to feel wanted and important, but sometimes that gets pushed to the wayside in committed relationships. Even if life gets busy, take the time to make your love feel that rush of excitement and joy they felt when they first met you – it will help keep the spark alive in the relationship.