It is natur that routines become a part of our lives in some way. There are many reasons why routines become ingrained in our day – it helps us to be more efficient, and it prevents decision-fatigue. The problem with routines is they become easy and comfortable and spill over into all areas of our life, including our relationships.
We start taking our partner for granted, and we go through the motions until one day we realize we’re bored.
If you feel that this has happened to you and your relationship, here are eight ways to revive your relationship and help get that spark back.
1. Talk about it.
It happens that routines cause a little stagnation in our lives and relationships. Breakfast is spent looking at the phone, lunch is spent at work, and dinner is separate because of other commitments. Our conversations are short and not meaningful, and even bedtime is different because of our routines.
The crux of it all; we’re tired, and our routines can do that us. To fix it, it needs to be brought out into the open, and that happens when we talk about it. Relationships go stale because we stop doing the things we used to do – communicating is one of the first to go. ?Find the time to talk. Make a date and put it on the calendar and during your date, make more dates to break up the routine.
2. Don’t talk about it. Just do something.
Sometimes we can talk an issue to death, but talking without action is pointless. Just make a plan, organize it, and tell your partner it’s on. They’ll thank you for it. Then, to keep it going – make it a game. Tell your partner that the next event is all down to them, it must be their idea, and they must do the planning.
It doesn’t have to be a huge thing or even expensive. It can be as simple as making a picnic dinner or going on a hike. We should schedule activities we used to love to do together, but somehow forgot about in the shuffle of our daily routine. It’s time to bring back the fun.
3. Make plans.
There was a time when our conversations were about plans and dreams. We used to talk about the things we were going to do together, all of the places we wanted to see and the things we wanted to do. Bring back those discussions and start planning again.
4. Go to bed at the same time.
Bedtime is a routine for all of us, but it often happens that our morning and work schedules are at odds with those of our partners. If your partner is always in bed before you, follow them at least a few nights in the week. Read together, lie together, “and tell me about your day!”
5. Do things together.
As we settle into daily life, we often look for ways to divide and conquer our chores to get them done faster. All that does is heighten the separateness of a couple. It may sound silly, but wash the dishes together, fold the clothes, or do some gardening. Anything is a chance to chat and be together. Do more things together and use it this time to make chores more fun and to stay close.
6. Think differently about the people you love.
It’s not only the relationship with our partner that may need reviving; it may be true for the other important relationships in our life and for very similar reasons. When we begin to pay attention to the people that matter most, every relationship benefits. So take the time to foster all of your relationships by showing how much you care through written notes and random acts of kindness.
7. Think differently about yourself.
It takes two to tango, but only one to change. No one can blame couples for a little stagnation creeping into their relationship; it happens to most couples at some point. Will we blame ourselves, though, if nothing is done about it? Will we look back and think we could have done more? Do that something ‘more’ now!
Being the instigator of change does not make us wrong or anyone else right; it means we care and that we’ll do anything to bolster the foundations of the relationship. We’ll never regret trying!
8. Live life the way you think you should.
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Becoming a couple happens when two people share similar visions for a life together. As each person grows and evolves, that vision may get lost and forgotten. When a relationship is lacking passion and purpose, it’s important to revisit those initial visions and dreams and start living the life you thought you would be living. The initial vision may have changed a bit, but it will be surprising how valid those original hopes for the relationship will still ring true. Celebrate them and make them a priority. Nothing can revive a stagnating relationship better than living the dream.