Relationships can either bring mutual growth and happiness or feel suffocating and debilitating after a while. All relationships serve their purpose, whether you stay with someone for a few weeks or an entire lifetime. Any relationship should support, encourage, uplift, and challenge you to become a better person, not drain you of energy and make you feel bad about yourself.
If you have to sacrifice any of the following things for your relationship, you might need to reevaluate what value the person adds to your life.
10 Things You Should Never Give Up for a Relationship
Stay true to yourself.
If you always have to check in with your partner or feel guilty about going somewhere with friends or family, this shows that your significant other lacks confidence within him or herself. Possessive behavior almost always points to extreme internal insecurity, often from unhealed childhood wounds, such as abandonment or neglectful parents. Even though this person deserves love and kindness, you need to cut ties with the person to allow them to heal on their own. Controlling behavior suggests that the person does not feel comfortable with him or herself, and this needs to be worked out before he or she commits to any long-term relationships.
Never change yourself for someone else; the right person will love you for nothing less than your full, authentic self. Also, the right person would never want you to change, because they genuinely enjoy your genuine essence, without you having to change a thing. Granted, relationships all require small compromises, like maybe eating at a restaurant your partner wants to try instead of the one you wanted to go to. Still, you shouldn’t have to alter your personality or beliefs for someone else. Be yourself unapologetically, and if your partner can’t accept you, you need to go for someone who will.
If someone doesn’t enhance your life and add to your joy, then what purpose do they serve in your life? Bottom line: if your partner drags you down and makes you feel crappy about yourself and experience, then it’s time to call quits on the relationship. You need someone who will match your vibration and bring vibrant energy into your life, not someone who leeches the energy from your life. Of course, he or she won’t always feel completely blissful, but if they can’t seem to find happiness on their own or offer it to you at all, then let them go…they need to focus on inner healing, not a relationship.
Do you enjoy the company of your partner; do you laugh, play, act like kids, and try new things together? A relationship always comes with disagreements from time to time, but even after a long time of being together, you still should be able to do activities that bring out the inner child in both of you. You should never give up fun in a relationship – without pleasure, life can become pretty mundane, and it will only cause tension if you remain with someone who can’t relax and let loose every once in a while.
5. Your dreams.
An ideal partnership consists of two people on the same mission, supporting each other every step of the way. Or, just two people who have different dreams, but still encourage and cheer each other on. If you don’t have someone on the same path as you or even someone who has your back, don’t hesitate to leave the relationship. What you want out of life makes up a large portion of who you are, and you don’t need someone who dismisses or bashes your goals.
6. Inner peace.
Your guy or girl should make you feel a deep sense of calm that makes you forget about the chaos around you. If they make you anxious, nervous, or angry a majority of the time, they will only weaken your vibration and cause you to become vulnerable to negative energy. Your partner should have peace within him or herself and reflect it onto you as well.
7. Your desire to explore.
Life is about having new experiences often, so if your partner is unwilling to try new things and holds you back from going on your adventures, you probably won’t find long-term happiness with this person. Your partner should encourage you to take risks so you can grow as a person, so it should be a red flag if he or she tries to inhibit your free spirit.
8. Your other relationships.
Your relationships with friends and family shouldn’t have to suffer just because you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, or spouse. This point ties in with possessive behavior a bit because this can significantly compromise the other relationships in your life. Your partner should allow you to have friends and family time without getting possessive and trying to control who you hang out with and when. Make sure you have an understanding, confident partner who doesn’t need you around all the time to be happy.
9. Your spiritual/religious beliefs.
Some people do change their religion for their partners. Still, it’s different if you truly desire to practice that religion rather than your partner trying to force you to adopt certain beliefs. No relationship is worth compromising deeply-held beliefs or practices. Your partner should enhance your spiritual life and, hopefully, grow with you as you evolve.
Every relationship requires a deep commitment to truly listening to the other person and understanding his or her thoughts and feelings. A loving, open relationship comprises two people who value one another’s opinion and don’t judge each other.
If you continually feel that your partner doesn’t make an honest effort to communicate openly with you, let them know your needs aren’t met. It’s so important to have an emotionally available partner if you want a successful, happy relationship.
Final Thoughts on Remaining True to Yourself in Your Relationship
Everyone wants a relationship, a special person to laugh with and with whom they can enjoy life’s precious moments. However, if you feel like you’re losing yourself a little bit at a time, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate. You deserve authentic, wholehearted love in your life.
Here’s food for thought from relationship expert, Dr. Phil McGraw:
“The only thing worse than being in a bad relationship for one year is being in it for a year and a day.”
If you feel like something is “off” in your relationship, trust that intuitive feeling from deep inside yourself.