If you and your partner have been fighting a bit more than usual lately, you probably want to pinpoint the cause of the arguing so you can maintain a healthy relationship. While bumps in the road appear in every relationship from time to time, the reasons these obstacles keep popping up might not seem apparent at first glance.
To help you get to the root cause of any problems you might encounter in your relationship, look out for these often overlooked factors that can wreak havoc on even the most stable relationships.
10 Startling Things that May be Hurting Your Relationship
1. Too much time on social media.
Everywhere you go, people have their heads in their phones and their fingers steadily scrolling through text messages and news feeds on Twitter or Facebook. Of course, social media allows your relatives and close friends that may live far away to keep up with your life, but it should never become such an addiction that it affects your real-life relationships.
Count how many hours a day you spend liking pictures and statuses or watching YouTube videos; if you find that you talk to people more online than you do with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you should probably break up with social media for a while. Or, at least distance yourself from it so you can give attention to the people who truly care about you.
2. Eating too much junk food.
Yes, your weekly pizza nights might just make you and your partner lash out at each other more often. A study done in 2012 by Ohio State University actually found a strong correlation between foods high in saturated fats and the tendency of couples to argue about sensitive topics, such as money or annoying habits. In simple terms, eating high-fat, unhealthy foods puts a huge strain on the digestive system and causes an imbalance in brain chemistry, which can put you in a sour mood.
Eat higher vibrational foods, such as raw fruits and veggies, to enhance every aspect of your life, including your relationships.
3. Spending money frivolously.
Unfortunately, financial irresponsibility and incompatibility still tops the list of the most common reasons for divorce, at least in the U.S. Researchers have found that lack of money doesn’t usually cause the fighting and breakup – spending money recklessly actually pulls the trigger in most cases. No matter how much money you have, spending more than you make or have saved up will always lead to unfavorable situations down the road.
To have a healthier relationship, talk openly about money and make sure you both are on the same page when it comes to financial goals and spending habits.
4. Not asking enough questions.
If you talk about yourself all the time and don’t ever show interest in how your partner’s day went, what they like about their new job, or maybe something as simple as what they want for dinner, he or she will feel neglected and uncared for. Even in committed relationships, both people still need to show one another adequate attention and put in effort to keep things running smoothly.
5. Sweating the small stuff.
It’s fine to be conscientious, but it becomes a problem when you spend all your time worrying and not enough time living. Overreacting or fretting about every check you write, every time your partner leaves dirty clothes on the floor, or other trivial matters in life will only add unnecessary stress to the relationship.
Try to remain level-headed about problems and evaluate whether the situation merits a strong reaction or not. Most of the time, you will find that you can resolve the situation quite simply.
6. Not enough physical contact outside of the bedroom.
While sex is an important part of relationships, it should never take the place of sweet gestures like holding hands, a long embrace after work, a kiss on the forehead, or other non-sexual forms of touching. Cuddling also can strengthen a couple’s bond because it actually releases chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin that help people relax and feel more connected to one another.
Make sure to show appreciation and love to your partner outside of sex as well – it will make both of you feel closer to one another and further strengthen your bond.
7. Not knowing your own self-worth.
Before others can love you, you have to love yourself. You have to make a pact with yourself that you will always stay true to your own heart, and become the generator of your own happiness. Sometimes, people in relationships still feel a void deep within, and most of the time it stems from not cultivating enough self-love or knowing what really makes the person happy. You can still get to know yourself while in a relationship; just make sure you set aside some alone time so you can go within and discover your most authentic self.
8. Thinking your partner is perfect.
While you may put your partner on a pedestal, it’s important to remember that he or she is still human and will therefore slip up from time to time. Being more realistic about your partner and cutting them some slack when they make a mistake will eliminate added stress and make your guy or girl feel more at ease.
9. Not getting enough sleep.
When you get a poor night’s sleep or go to bed too late, it can be detrimental to relationships because you will become irritated much more easily. If you don’t prioritize sleep, other important areas of your life will suffer, and you will probably notice more frequent fights with your significant other.
Make sure to go to sleep at a decent hour, and if you have trouble staying asleep, meditate or take a relaxing hot bath before bed to wind down.
Maybe you have a shared goal of wanting to lose thirty pounds before summer vacation, so you start hitting the gym and eating better together. Soon, though, you might notice the other person lifting heavier weights, so you try to one up them, and eventually it turns into a vicious game rather than a mutual goal.
Remain supportive and encourage the other person to do his or her best while also putting in your greatest effort – as long as you try your hardest and cheer your partner on, you’ll both come out on top!