You’ve found a romantic partner who seems like Mr. or Mrs. Right, but how can you be sure? This is an important choice that you’re making by selecting a long-term mate for yourself, and you want to know that it’s the right one.
Here Are Ten Signs Your Partner Is a Keeper
Do you see these traits in your new partner?
1. They are kind and loving.
We generally regard a good person as someone who wants to do good for others. Someone who will help a stray animal or an elderly person who is struggling to open a jar instantly makes us feel appreciation for their kind behavior.
In a study on factors that people universally find attractive, competence and warmth were the two most desirable traits. Of course you would want your partner to be intelligent, but warmth is desirable because we want the person that we love to have our best interests at heart.
2. You share common interests with a keeper.
You need to have the right things in common. When you think about what’s most important to you, your partner should feel the same ways about those things. These are most likely your values, beliefs, and morals but they may include religion and political party affiliation as well.
In a study in Personality and Individual Differences, researchers identified several factors that are important for couples to have in common. They found that we tend to gravitate toward people who come from a similar region as us, have a similar social status, have similar overall health, have similar education and have similar desire for children. It would seem that likes do attract more than opposites.
3. They can make you laugh.
Who doesn’t enjoy a good belly laugh? If the two of you have shared jokes and can have fun even in stressful situations, you are a lucky person to have found this keeper. They’ll keep you smiling in your relationship and you’ll be a happy couple. If you can also make them laugh, so much the better.
Fun is important for couples who stay together. It’s common sense that couples who have more fun and play have happier relationships, but the research also supports this. You can read more about what happy couples do to improve their relationships here.
4. A keeper knows their flaws.
Being self-aware and looking to improve on one’s flaws are great traits to find in a keeper. No one can be perfect all the time so being able to see your own faults and work on fixing them is a wonderful quality.
5. They have integrity.
Being honest to a fault is a sign of a keeper. Most people actually lie many times a day, often in little ways that help other people to feel good about themselves. Your keeper might tell a small white lie about that whether or not that color really does look good on you, but they would never lie about the important things like finances, health, fidelity, or whether or not they ate the last of the ice cream.
6. You are just different enough.
You don’t want to be in a romantic relationship with someone who is exactly like you because what’s different about each of you is what keeps things interesting. You are similar enough in what’s important, but different enough to have separate tastes, skills, hobbies and opinions.
7. They’re supportive of you but have their own aspirations.
You’ve found a keeper if they are the right balance of supporting you in your dreams but yet they won’t sacrifice their own goals in the process. They want to help you start your own business but also complete their MBA rather than dropping everything to be at your beck and call.
8. They communicate very well.
A relationship keeper needs to know how to communicate effectively. If your potential romantic match can articulate their feelings and needs so that you understand them, you’ll be able to provide for those needs and have a better relationship.
In addition to speaking well, your partner should be a great listener. They need to be able to understand your needs and feelings as well. You can read more about how listening helps couples stay together here. If the conversation is a two-way street when you talk, your partner might be a keeper.
9. A keeper can compromise.
If you both fight over the remote control all the time, this will not end well. Your partner is a keeper if they can give a little to get a little. Maybe they let you have the remote while you watch your favorite show as long as you’ll let them watch theirs that’s on afterward.
10. They make you want to be a better person.
Someone who inspires you to greatness is a definite keeper. You know that you will learn and grow as a person while you are with them. Being with someone who helps you to be a better person is a great relationship to be in. Not only do they love you but they are your mentor as well. They give you guidance to make smart choices without choosing for you. If you can picture yourself thanking them in an acceptance speech, then you’ve found a keeper.