“Police work wouldn’t be possible without coffee,” Wallander said.
“No work would be possible without coffee.”
They pondered the importance of coffee in silence.
– Henning Mankell, “One Step Behind”
Some researchers believe that how you take your java is indicative of your personality.
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a professor of psychology at California State University, Los Angeles (and recipient of the University’s 2012 ‘Outstanding Professor’ award) conducted a study of 1,000 coffee drinkers, assessing several personality styles and psychological traits. The professor found that we may have more in common with our favorite coffee order than we know.
The good professor is not alone, either. You know there’s something when Harvard University starts researching our biological connection with coffee.
Now, in researching this article, this writer did find some correlation between how he takes his coffee and his personality. Also, in thinking about all the people who he knew took their coffee, a moderate-to-strong association was apparent. (I notate such findings below.)
Researching and writing this article was very entertaining. We hope that you feel the same enjoyment reading it!
(Coffee drinkers: we’d love to hear your feedback! Do you identify with your coffee of choice or not?)
Without further ado, here’s what your coffee says about your personality:
Black Coffee Drinkers: Simple, straightforward, quiet, moody
Of all coffee lovers in the study, people who take theirs black were found to be more simplistic, patient, and simple. They’re also the most straightforward and to the point. For black coffee drinkers, minimalism (a trait we could all use more of) is something they hold dear.
On the flip side, black coffee drinkers were found to be quiet and moody. Further, they were discovered to be very “set in their ways”; adamant against change of any kind. Anti-social personalities were most prominent in this group, as well. (*Cough*…Dad and Grandpa Joe…*cough*)
Espresso Drinkers: Bold, intense, well-traveled, pretentious
Black coffee is bitter – but not bitter enough for espresso lovers. The taste of espresso is strong, and certainly not on the menu for someone who someone who enjoys a sweeter cup of joe.
So what about espresso drinkers? Well, their personalities seem to mirror espresso’s properties and social perceptions: bitter and forceful, yet pretentious and excessive. Espresso drinkers are also most likely to have visited another country. Italy, perhaps?
Cappuccino/Frappuccino Drinkers: Trendsetting, adventurous, perfectionistic, sensitive
If you like the sweet, frothy varieties of coffee, you’re the most likely to be an extrovert. You’re also a trendsetter and have a thirst for adventure. Unfortunately, you may also be perfectionistic – a trait that undermines your talent and renders you complacent at times.
You’re also the among the more sensitive types – and have a marked tendency to worry and stress over the small stuff.
Flavored Coffee Drinkers: Creative, imaginative, impulsive, stressed
Flavored coffee drinkers are the ones sitting quietly at the back of the classroom doodling in their notebooks. They’re the daydreamers, artists, and inventors. Indeed, flavored blend drinkers are the most creative of all groups. This creative streak does come at a cost, however.
Like all great creators and artists, they’re whimsical and impulsive. They don’t have a very thick skin, so it’s common to witness a facepalm while they’re holding onto their hazelnut blend.
Decaf Drinkers: Cautious, observant, obsessive, controlling
First, why do people drink decaf coffee? Well, barring any sensitivities to caffeine, it’s because they enjoy the taste and not the effect. What does this tell us? Quite a bit.
Decaf drinkers tend to be in control – both of themselves and others, if necessary. They’re astute observers and are on the lookout for anything that goes awry. Unfortunately, decaf drinkers are also most likely to obsess about every small detail. They’re also prone to worry, which makes sense given their need for control.
Instant Coffee Drinkers: Ambitious, hardworking/laziness, procrastination
Unfortunately, instant coffee drinkers get hammered on by these studies. Again, it’s important to ask why people drink instant coffee? Well, either you’re busy and require a quick injection of caffeine, or you’re lazy and don’t put much effort into anything.
If you’re in the former group, well done. If you’re in the latter, well, we would say “try harder, ” but you probably wouldn’t care.
(Opinion: considering that “K-Cups” – a product that borderline classifies as instant coffee – is a multi-million dollar business, many of us have apparently replaced the word “laziness” with “convenience.”)