While no one can make you depressed, the conditions and limitations that you experience in your relationship can create a negative environment that contribute to a negative mood. Knowing the signs that your relationship is on a negative downturn can help you to make a choice to make a change to a life of positivity.
11 Signs Your Relationship Is Making You Depressed
1. You have no say in what happens from day to day
Lacking control over what happens in your relationship every day is an indication that your partner is exerting more than their fair share of control. Each of you should have an equal say in distribution of chores, choice of activities, monetary decisions, etc.
2. You fear your partner’s reaction
Anger from your partner can make you withdraw even further into isolation, which is a sign of depression. Avoiding communication with your partner will not fix the depressed feelings that you are having, but will only make them worse.
3. You are dependent on your partner
Researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign looked at the impact that depression has on relationships. Although the researchers looked at people who had already been diagnosed with depression and were open about it with their partners, their findings revealed 8 negative factors that can be used as signs of depression.
Here are negative effects of depression on a relationship:
- emotional toll
- romance and sexual intimacy problems
- communication problems
- lack of energy/motivation
- dependence on the relationship
- lack of understanding
4. You feel the burden of your relationship
Your relationship rests like a weight on your chest, making you feel immobilized and unable to leave, move, or change things for the better. It takes great inner courage and strength to recognize the relationship is making you depressed and resolve to move on.
5. You’ve withdrawn from social activities
Researchers at the University of Michigan looked at risk factors for depression in romantic relationships and found that a lack of social support outside of the partnership was a major influencing factor on whether one partner experienced symptoms of depression. Lack of social support can include a lack of support from family members as well.
You may feel that your partner doesn’t want you to see your friends, but doing so is important to your mental health. Don’t allow your relationship to make you feel more depressed by avoiding the friends and family members who can help you to work through your feelings about your partner.
6. You have a desire to fix things, but no energy to do so
You wish for a more happy, positive relationship with your partner, but the literal energy that it takes to work on your problems is not within your reach. Depression can often lead to a lack of physical energy that feels like you are unable to act, even if it is going to make things better.
7. You contribute more than your partner does to the relationship
Perhaps you do more of the domestic work than your partner does, or you contribute more financially. There is sometimes an unequal distribution of work in a relationship, but it will only be making you feel depressed if you are resentful of the imbalance and unable to change it.
8. You can’t remember the last time you and your partner laughed together
If you were experiencing more joy and positive emotions in your relationship, you wouldn’t be wondering if your relationship is making you depressed. Happiness is visible in the number of smiles and the amount of laughter shared by loving partners. If you are missing this key positive emotional element, you may be feeling depressed.
9. You worry about the future of your relationship
When you feel like your relationship is making you depressed, you can feel hopeless about the future. Not being able to see how your relationship leads to a happy ending can make you sick with worry, stress, and anxiety, and the hopelessness can make you also feel depressed.
10. Your partner doesn’t listen
Communication is so important to a healthy romantic partnership. Lacking a willing ear to listen when you have a concern can feel isolating and can make you feel depressed. Your partner should be paying attention to you when you speak, but if they don’t, a lack of listening can feel like rejection from your partner, which leads to negative feelings of depression.
11. You are seeking someone to talk to outside your relationship
Emotional cheating is one way to look at this, but confiding in someone else about how you feel about your relationship issues is a sign that you aren’t able to communicate with your partner, and it is making you depressed.