Sometimes forever doesn’t happen, and the fairytale ending isn’t realistic. What does it mean when you no longer want those things if you’ve been in a relationship and had dreams of growing old with someone? Many people grow and change during their time together, and it’s ubiquitous for two people to grow apart and face a breakup.
A relationship can run its course, and suddenly you find yourself in a situation you want to leave. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them and can still care deeply, but suddenly the relationship part of things doesn’t work for you. What do you do in this situation, and how do you know when to say goodbye?
Twenty Signs Your Relationship Has Run Its Course
A breakup is never easy, but are there any evident signs that the fire that once ignited between the two of you has fizzled out? Here are some indications that your relationship has run its course and it’s time for you to move on.
1. Trust is Gone from the Relationship
You’ve tried to trust them again and want to do it. Sadly, no matter how hard you try, this vital part of your relationship is broken. You question every word they say and their actions because there’s a wedge between you.
You’ll like a detective going through their coat pockets, viewing their text messages. You don’t trust that they’re faithful because you know you’re looking for a reason to leave in your heart.
2. Communication is Nonexistent
You once talked about anything and everything, but now you seem like two strangers who barely speak. You don’t know what happens in their day, and they don’t know what happens in yours. They’re no longer the first person you call to share things that occur, both good and bad.
3. The Butterflies are Gone
You once got excited when you saw their car pull in the driveway or they walked into the room. Now, you feel nothing. The butterflies in your stomach that you once experienced when you sat near them have flown away, and there’s no natural attraction anymore.
4. You’ve Thought About a Breakup
You’ve already started to picture your life without them. You may have made plans to leave a dozen times, but you’ve been too scared to carry it out.
5. Spend Time Together is a Chore
Gone are the days you once planned to spend every waking moment together. In the past, you couldn’t wait for the next concert or significant event, as you got to make more memories. However, these days it seems like spending time together is a chore, and nobody likes chores.
6. Intimacy Is Dead in the Relationship
They don’t touch you anymore, and you don’t look at each other the same. All the action in the bedroom has become routine and uninteresting if you have any action at all.
You find yourself waiting for it to be over so you can retreat to your side of the bed and sleep. You don’t kiss, hug, or cuddle when watching television.
7. Little Habits Aren’t Cute Anymore
You were always mesmerized by the way they did certain things. These habits have become annoying and are the source of many arguments.
It’s way more than they leave the cap off the toothpaste. How they slurp their coffee or their car is always littered with fast food bags drives you mad.
8. You Argue So Much That a Breakup Sounds Like Relief
Arguments have become so commonplace that you fight about anything and everything. To be in the same room is to disagree about something, and you find there’s always tension when you’re together. If you’re honest with yourself, you no longer know what you argue about.
9. Memories Are Better Than the Relationship
You’ve thought about breaking up with them, but the memories with this person are so good that it’s hard to let go. The trouble is the memories are way better than what you have now. You have a history with this person, but you’re not sure you see a future.
10. You Might Breakup If You Head in Separate Directions
Previously, your goals for the future aligned in perfect harmony, and you couldn’t see a tomorrow without them. Consequently, those days are gone. Now, it seems you’re both going in opposite directions and breaking up is crossing your mind.
11. You Have Irreconcilable Differences Causing You to Consider a Breakup
While most couples have things they disagree about, your issues are not reconcilable. You can’t resolve some things no matter how hard you try, and it’s driving a wedge between you.
12. Text Messages and Calls Have Dwindled
When things began, you texted each other on every break at work to keep each other in the loop. You can’t remember the last time you texted because you wanted to tell them about your day.
If you communicate these days, it’s only to convey essential information. You’re quick to end the conversation as things between you are uncomfortable.
13. There’s Emotional or Physical Cheating
Some people think the only way to cheat is through an intimate act. However, you can cheat emotionally too.
Relationship counselors often warn that most emotional affairs eventually turn into physical ones, and the danger lies. While talking or dreaming about someone else may seem harmless, it’s a long trip down a one-way street. Once you’ve started down this road, there’s no way to turn around.
14. You’re Putting All the Work into The Relationship
Relationships require people to be equals; each person must put fifty percent of themselves into it. Sadly, these days, you’re the one doing all the work.
You’ve given and given, and you wish there were some effort on their part. One-sided marriages and associations don’t work.
15. When You’re Together, It’s Like They’re Not There
You’ve noticed that when you manage to get into proximity with one another, their mind is a million miles away. Clearly, they’ve disengaged from you and would rather be anywhere but with you.
Looking at them is like a stranger in your house because you no longer know them.
16. You’re Distracted When You’re Together
Do you find that you would rather be on your phone than eat dinner with your partner? There’s uncomfortable silence when you’re together, so you need a distraction.
17. You Don’t Care if They Want a Breakup
You’ve got to the point in your association that you don’t care if they leave. If they stay, you’ll try to make it work the best you can, but if they leave, you won’t shed many tears over their absence. The whole thing is on automatic pilot mode right now.
18. You Don’t Miss Them When They’re Gone
You once pined for them when they would leave to go out with friends or were on a work trip. However, you find you enjoy the time when they’re gone.
On the other hand, they also enjoy their time apart from you. You feel like you can breathe, and the weight on your back is no longer weighing you down.
19. You’re Focusing on Trying to Change Them
You can’t change anyone, but you’re sure trying. According to Berkeley University’s Greater Good Science Center, one of the reasons why you can’t change someone’s mind and make them different is because they have pre-existing beliefs and convictions.
These are all ingrained in them since childhood, and these things have become a part of who they are. As the old saying goes, a tiger can’t change its stripes, and you can’t change others.
20. Lying to Each Other Indicates the End of a Relationship
How often have you told a little white lie because you thought they couldn’t handle the truth? Trust is the foundation of any good relationship, and you’re showing them how much you don’t trust them to deal with reality.
If someone lies to you, breaking up might be on your mind. To be honest, you can’t have a connection when you don’t respect each other enough.
Final Thoughts on Signs of a Relationship in Danger of a Breakup
Relationships are not easy, as even the best ones have issues. However, you must make a conscious effort each day to be the best person for yourself and your partner. These days, it seems things have run their course, and you’re looking for the nearest exit ramp.
While it’s normal for couples to grow apart and start heading in another direction, you don’t think this will work anymore. Breaking up is hard, but you don’t see any other way around this situation, as it’s making you miserable. Life is too short to be sad, so setting each other free may be a gift to both of you.