Have you ever wanted to have a way to tell if the people you love think the same about you? Do you have a hard time understanding your value and need to know if others value you? Would you like to know how to act if you find out someone doesn’t appreciate you?
Relationships with loved ones are full of beautiful moments, but they can also be exhausting. Sometimes people don’t know how to reach out and ask if friends and family value them. They are stuck wondering without getting a straight answer. It can lead to feelings of anxiety and insecurity that eat at you for a long time. If you have trouble knowing whether or not you are valued, it’s best to know some signs.
Five Signs That Your Loved Ones Value You
Look for these signs that indicate someone treasures your heart.
1. Loved Ones Who Treasure You Will Listen to You
Communication is the cornerstone of all healthy relationships. Whether that relationship is with family, a friend, or romantic, listening and being listened to are very important.
When someone listens to you, they show you that they value what you have to say. They want to know your opinion or what you are dealing with so that they can help you. And there is a big difference between listening just because you have to and actively listening. Someone who doesn’t value you will pretend to listen or nod from time to time, and that’s about it. They will brush you off and make the conversation all about them.
But someone who genuinely cares will give you their undivided attention when you want to talk. They will ask questions, give you their advice if you ask for it, and remember what you said in case it will be relevant later.
If you need to vent, they will let you. If you need help, they will try to guide you. While they won’t remember every detail of what you discussed, they will know about the things that matter to you the most. Sure, they might forget some one-off comment, but they will remember what your opinions, likes, and dislikes are.
Not only do they know how to listen, but they can adequately communicate with you. You can be sure you have a strong bond if you don’t feel weird telling them about something they do that bothers you. They can talk about whatever, without things ever getting awkward. They listen to your side, and only when you’re done do they share their opinion. They’re capable of making compromises if needed.
2. They Make You Feel Safe
Everyone knows that you can only have a healthy relationship if the people in the relationship make each other feel safe.
People generally know that someone who values you won’t be physically aggressive towards you. When someone gets so mad that they hit you or ruin your stuff, sometimes even this side is overlooked. Some people were raised in an environment where parents hitting their kids is normalized.
Others have had to deal with other types of domestic abuse. If you have been through trauma like this, know that someone physically aggressive towards you doesn’t value you. The same can be said about people that destroy your belongings. And if you’re in a delicate situation, let a friend know or contact authorities.
But the part that is even more normalized is the psychological abuse. Maybe a loved one is trying to pressure you into doing something. They might gaslight you, make you think you did things that you didn’t do. And there are other forms of psychological abuse. Whatever someone does that makes you feel unsafe, that’s an unjust attitude towards you.
The people who genuinely value you will make you feel safe. They won’t try to control your life, make decisions for you, or cut you off from social support. You can get to express your opinions and desires freely. For example, if you want to go out without them, they won’t make a scene over it. You can trust each other and count on each other to be there when needed.
3. Loved Ones Accept You Instead Of Trying To Change You
Most people have mixed opinions about what acceptance means. For some, it means leaving someone to their own devices without any interference. To others, it means guidance and advice. Some people don’t understand the concept and try to change the people around them.
The best way to describe acceptance is by acknowledging that someone is the way they are at a particular moment. It doesn’t mean you support them no matter what they do. And you can certainly wish to help them change certain things. So, if that’s not how your loved ones act towards you, it means they don’t value you as well as they should.
When a person accepts you, they will offer you guidance and constructive criticism. They aim to help you become a better version of yourself. They won’t try to control you or pressure you into acting in specific ways. You won’t have to deal with injunctions like “if you don’t change, I’m going to leave you.”
An accepting person will recognize that you are your person, and you have the right to do whatever you want to. They will support you when you want to pursue the best path for yourself. Of course, they won’t help you in doing things that could destroy your life. But if you want to move towns in pursuit of your dream career, they will back you. If you are working towards a promotion, they will help you. And if they see you going astray, they will try to get you back on the right path.
If you feel that your friends and family have this attitude towards you, you can be sure they value you.
4. They Pay Attention To The Details
This might not seem vital for a relationship, but paying attention to the details shows that people care about who you are.
The more details someone knows about you, the more they think about you. And someone who thinks about you respects you. It shows that not only do they listen when you talk, but they go a step further. They make a conscious effort to remember the little things. If you ever go to a coffee shop with someone, and they know how to place your favorite order, that’s a sign they value you.
They make an effort to ask about you. They want to know what you like and dislike so that they can use that information in the future. If they know you don’t like a particular food, they won’t make it at a gathering. They check up on you often to see if you’re alright or if you need something.
If you have a friend or relative who doesn’t do these things, that signifies they don’t value you. If you are vegan, but at a family dinner, they do not offer vegan-friendly alternatives, which shows they ignore your needs.
5. Your Loved Ones Keep Their Promises
Someone who values and respects you will make an effort to keep their promises no matter what. If your loved ones always show up when you need them to, you know they care deeply.
People tend to be selfish in life, and that’s understandable. But if they become selfish in relationships, that can become a problem. But you need to understand that people don’t need to make promises if they can’t keep them. If they make them and back out on them once, that’s excusable. But if that happens repeatedly, it shows a blatant disregard towards you.