How To Release The Attachment Of Old Relationships

How To Release The Attachment Of Old Relationships


For one reason or another, some relationships just don’t last as long as we thought they would. People come into our lives to teach us something about ourselves, or for us to teach them. After you have learned everything you can from one another, you may naturally go your separate ways and continue to experience life by meeting others who can will help illuminate your unique path.

When you first let go of someone you love, you may feel like curling up into a ball and not leaving the comfort of your bed ever again. However, the longer you hold on to past relationships, the more pain you will feel both emotionally and mentally. All relationships serve as a tool to teach us something in this lifetime, and once we’ve learned all we can from the person, the universe sends us on our way to meet others who will continue to show us important life lessons. You will get redirected to people and experiences that will best serve the evolution of your consciousness. Releasing past relationships and getting over a breakup can seem like the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do, so we thought we’d give you some tips on how to make this a little more bearable.


How To Release The Attachment Of Old Relationships


Focus on improving your relationship with yourself.

Too often, relationships tend to drain our energy and take the focus off what makes us happy and why we love ourselves. An all-consuming relationship usually leaves you feeling empty and loathing yourself, because you have forgotten to nurture your inner child. Take the time to cleanse yourself, pamper yourself, and figure out what truly makes you come to life. Tell yourself you’re beautiful, exercise often, eat wholesome foods, meditate, and hang out with people who motivate you to grow in a positive direction. Instead of blaming and hating yourself for a breakup or a friendship that went sour, remind yourself how this ending helped you discover new beginnings.

Every negative experience happens in order for us to take the lesson, apply it, and transmute it into something positive so we can get ever closer to the reflection of love that we all are.

Wish the other person well.

This is easier said than done, in most cases, but it builds on the last point about choosing love in all circumstances. If you feel attached to this person, you believe you cannot live without them, and have placed all your happiness into your relationship with them. Love and attachment do not have to exist together – true love means that you and the person recognize your intense bond and don’t need a relationship to validate that. Love transcends all physical boundaries; it makes up every single atom on this planet, and exists within all of us at all times.

Simply send love out to the other person when you feel bitter or hurt about the experience, because love will set you free, while negative emotions will drag you down. Getting over attachments to past relationships takes time, but if you take a loving and compassionate approach, it will seem that much easier to move on.


Keep up a daily routine.

Familiarity and routine help heal the mind, body and spirit. When in a relationship, the other person takes up so much of our time that we forget what we need to thrive. One way to release attachments to past relationships is simply to remain so busy that you don’t have time to dwell on previous lovers. Make sure you take time for self-care, self-love, and self-awareness in your daily routine, and try to do activities you enjoy so that you don’t become depressed thinking about the past.

Get your feelings out.


Whether through writing, song, or talking to a friend, getting out your feelings will help you to move on from the relationship. You can’t just keep your feelings bottled up inside and expect to get over a serious relationship in your life. Talk, write, or sing about your feelings in order to release pent up emotions and attachments – the sooner you become honest about how you feel, the sooner you can begin the process of moving on.

Think about what you learned from the relationship.

Maybe we don’t have to feel so much pain from a past relationship; maybe instead, we can think about how we grew from this relationship, and what we learned throughout our time spent with the person. It might seem like a negative experience from your perspective, but try to shift your focus a bit. How did you change from being in the relationship? What did you learn? Once you see the slivers of light shining through the dark clouds of the relationship, it becomes easier to express gratitude for it rather than feel resentful and hurt.

marriage counselor

Show kindness to others.

If you have been focusing on past relationships a lot lately, try to shift your awareness to others. Why not volunteer somewhere, get out in your community, and share your heart with others in need? Sometimes we focus so much on how we feel, that we become too self-absorbed and forget about everyone else out there who needs help. This doesn’t mean ignore your feelings – it means in order to heal, you need to reach out to others and share your gifts with them. We all become broken at some point or another, but this doesn’t mean we still don’t have love and kindness to offer.

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