For one reason or another, some relationships don’t last as long as we thought they would. People come into our lives to teach us something about ourselves, or for us to teach them. After you have learned everything you can from one another, you may naturally go your separate ways and continue to experience life by meeting others who can will help illuminate your unique path.

When you first let go of someone you love, you may feel like curling up into a ball and never leaving the comfort of your bed again. However, the longer you hold on to past relationships, the more pain you will feel, both emotionally and mentally. All relationships serve as a tool to teach us something in this lifetime, and once we’ve learned all we can from the person, the universe sends us on our way to meet others who will continue to show us important life lessons. You will get redirected to people and experiences that will best serve the evolution of your consciousness. Releasing past relationships and getting over a breakup can seem like the most challenging thing you’ve ever had to do, so we thought we’d give you some tips on making this a little more bearable.

6 Reasons Holding on to Old Relationships Can Hold You Back in Life


1 – Stagnation and lack of growth

Remaining attached to a past relationship can prevent personal growth and hinder moving forward. It keeps you emotionally tied to the past, making it difficult to embrace new experiences, relationships, and opportunities for self-improvement.

2 – Emotional turmoil and unresolved romantic feelings

Holding onto a former relationship often leads to emotional turmoil and unresolved feelings. It can keep you in a cycle of nostalgia, longing, or bitterness, preventing you from finding closure and healing. These lingering emotions can affect your overall well-being and hinder your ability to form healthy connections in the future.

3 – Incompatibility and future regrets

Staying attached to a former relationship can blind you to the reasons why the relationship ended in the first place. It may prevent you from acknowledging fundamental incompatibilities or the fact that you both have moved on in different directions. By staying attached, you risk missing out on more compatible and fulfilling relationships in the future.

4 – Unhealthy patterns and toxic dynamics

Continuing attachment to a former relationship can perpetuate unhealthy patterns and toxic dynamics. It can create a cycle of on-and-off again relationships or lead to getting back together repeatedly, which can be emotionally draining and damaging. It’s important to recognize when a relationship has run its course and to prioritize your emotional well-being.

5 – Missed opportunities for self-discovery

Staying attached to a former relationship may prevent you from exploring your identity and discovering what truly makes you happy. Focusing on self-care, personal growth, and pursuing your goals and aspirations is essential. You may miss out on valuable opportunities for self-discovery and personal fulfillment by remaining attached.

6 – Hindrance to building healthy relationships

Holding onto a former relationship can interfere with your ability to build healthy and meaningful connections with new people. It may create emotional baggage or trust issues that you carry into future relationships. Letting go of past attachments allows you to enter new relationships with a clean slate and a healthier mindset.

How To Release The Attachment Of Old Relationships

marriage counselor

1 – Focus on improving your relationship with yourself.

Too often, relationships tend to drain our energy and take the focus off what makes us happy and why we love ourselves. An all-consuming relationship usually leaves you feeling empty and loathing because you have forgotten to nurture your inner child. Take the time to cleanse yourself, pamper yourself, and figure out what makes you come to life. Tell yourself you’re beautiful, exercise often, eat wholesome foods, meditate, and hang out with people who motivate you to grow positively. Instead of blaming and hating yourself for a breakup or a sour friendship, remind yourself how this ending helped you discover new beginnings.

Every negative experience happens for us to take the lesson, apply it, and transmute it into something positive so we can get ever closer to the reflection of love we all are.

2 – Wish the other person well.

This is easier said than done in most cases, but it builds on the last point about choosing love in all circumstances. If you feel attached to this person, you believe you cannot live without them, and have placed all your happiness into your relationship with them. Love and attachment do not have to exist together – true love means that you and the person recognize your intense bond and don’t need a relationship to validate that. Love transcends all physical boundaries; it makes up every atom on this planet and always exists within us.

Simply send love out to the other person when you feel bitter or hurt about the experience because love will set you free, while negative emotions will drag you down. Getting over attachments to past relationships takes time, but if you take a loving and compassionate approach, it will seem much easier to move on.

3 – Keep up a daily routine.

Familiarity and routine help heal the mind, body and spirit. In a relationship, the other person takes up so much of our time that we forget what we need to thrive. One way to release attachments to past relationships is to remain so busy that you don’t have time to dwell on previous lovers. Make sure you take time for self-care, self-love, and self-awareness in your daily routine, and try to do activities you enjoy so you don’t become depressed thinking about the past.

4 – Get your feelings out.

Whether through writing, song, or talking to a friend, releasing your feelings will help you move on from the relationship. You can’t just keep your feelings bottled up inside and expect to get over a serious relationship. Talk, write, or sing about your feelings in order to release pent-up emotions and attachments – the sooner you become honest about how you feel, the sooner you can begin the process of moving on.

5 – Think about what you learned from the relationship.

Maybe we don’t have to feel so much pain from a past relationship; instead, we can think about how we grew from this relationship and what we learned throughout our time with the person. It might seem like a negative experience from your perspective but try to shift your focus a bit. How did you change from being in the relationship? What did you learn? Once you see the slivers of light shining through the dark clouds of the relationship, it becomes easier to express gratitude for it rather than feel resentful and hurt.

6 – Show kindness to others.

If you have been focusing on past relationships lately, try to shift your awareness to others. Why not volunteer somewhere, get out in your community, and share your heart with others in need? Sometimes we focus so much on how we feel, that we become too self-absorbed and forget about everyone else out there who needs help. This doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings. Instead, it becomes a means to heal, you need to reach out to others and share your gifts with them. We all become broken at some point or another, but this doesn’t mean we still don’t have love and kindness to offer.

Final Thoughts on Releasing Old Relationships So You Find Happiness Again

Remember, it’s natural to take time to heal and process a breakup. It’s a period of adjustment, reflection, and emotional healing. However, it’s crucial to recognize that staying attached to a former relationship becomes unhealthy. That’s because it inhibits your personal growth and well-being.

Focusing on self-care is paramount during this time. Make yourself a priority by caring for your physical, mental, and emotional health. Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether pursuing hobbies, exercising, meditating, or spending time in nature. Prioritizing self-care helps you rebuild your sense of self and regain confidence after a breakup.

Seeking support from loved ones can be immensely beneficial. Share your feelings and experiences with trusted friends and family members who can provide empathy, encouragement, and a listening ear. They can offer valuable perspectives, and advice, and help you gain clarity as you navigate the healing process. Professional counseling or therapy can also be a valuable resource. It can help you process your emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

It’s important to remember that healing from a breakup is not linear. Allow yourself to feel the range of emotions that come with sadness, anger, and confusion, and understand that it’s okay to experience setbacks along the way. Be patient and kind to yourself as you gradually move forward.

By letting go of attachments to a former relationship, you create space for new possibilities. Embrace the opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth. Take the time to understand your wants, needs, and values. Reflect on the lessons from the past relationship and use them to build a stronger foundation for future connections.

As you focus on your growth and well-being, you’ll be better equipped to enter healthier and happier relationships. When you’re ready, approach new relationships with an open heart, mindful of the lessons you’ve learned. Use your newfound self-awareness and personal growth to cultivate relationships based on mutual respect, trust, and compatibility.

It may be challenging at times. But letting go of attachments to a former relationship allows you to embrace the present and create a brighter future. It’s an opportunity for self-discovery, personal growth, and the possibility of finding a more fulfilling and healthy partnership.