Sometimes in life we have to learn to let go of a relationship, situation or position we enjoyed but which is no longer available to us. In other cases, we may have to learn to let go of a deeply painful emotion and heal from the inside out.
In order to move into and accept the new situation with grace, we must let go of the old one. No matter what you need to let go of or move on from, here are 5 tips to how to move on in peace.
Tips on how to let go and move on peacefully
Let yourself feel
The end of anything generally casts us into the unknown and for most of us, the unknown can be downright scary. For that reason, while the thing that is ending might actually be a bad relationship or horrible job that made us miserable, we can still fight against losing it simply because it is familiar. It is a strange irony that even the most abusive relationships can feel “safe” in their own way, simply because they are familiar.
This need to let go of what is comfortable and familiar can be scary, which can actually cause feelings of anger and even rage. Know that it is okay to feel these things. Keep in mind, acting on your anger or rage is different from feeling it. While acting on it may in many cases be highly unacceptable, feeling it is not. Just allowing yourself to feel what you feel is an important part of almost any healing process.
Take ownership of your part
Every relationship involves at least two parties and in every type of relationship, both parties will make mistakes. No matter how many mistakes the other person or entity made, you made some too. One of the biggest tips to move on is to acknowledge what you did wrong in the relationship or situation. You cannot fix other people, you can only fix yourself. You can’t change the behaviors of other people, but you can change your own. Owning what you did wrong in the relationship or situation will help you not only move on, but also to not be in the same situation again.
Acknowledge what the other party did wrong
While it is important to own your own part in the situation, it is also important to acknowledge the mistakes of others as well. Often, people will do one or the other by assigning blame to others while not taking ownership of their own, or take all the responsibility on themselves without acknowledging the faults, failures or mistakes of the other party. Part of learning how to move on is learning how to honestly assess and acknowledge the mistakes made on both sides of the relationship.
Forgive yourself and others
Learning to forgive is an important part of learning how to move on. Forgiveness is the means by which we let go of old baggage that can not only weigh us down, but have a significant impact on our health. According to the Mayo clinic, just a few of the many health benefits of forgiveness include:
- Lower blood pressure
- A stronger immune system
- Improved heart health
Learn how to live with empty space
Generally, when one chapter of our life ends, it leaves an empty space in its wake. We are often so desperate to fill this space we can simply move from one bad situation right into another. Part of learning how to move on is learning how to move on to a better place than the one we just vacated. If we simply jump right from one situation into another, we generally don’t have time to make the changes necessary to make the next situation or relationship better than out last one. Sometimes, we need to just learn how to let a space be empty for a bit before trying to fill it.
Learning how to let go and how to move on is a lifelong process. Change in inevitable and not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime – and thank goodness for that! Letting go of a painful situation or relationship, however, can sometimes be just as difficult as letting go of a good one. Letting go of a difficult relationship can sometimes feel like defeat and bring about feelings of failure.
Letting go of a good relationship can be just as hard, however, as it can make us feel like we are somehow not worthy of good things. No matter how you slice it, moving on and letting go are just difficult things to do. Like everything else in life, however, more often we practice letting go and moving on with grace, the better we get at it.