When you meet the love that you are meant to have, you want everything to be perfect. Bonding with your partner means a process of continuously learning about each other and what you need to make yourselves happy, and continuing to cultivate emotional intimacy in your relationship.
In a study of married partners, researchers found that “emotional skillfulness, specifically the ability to identify and communicate emotions, plays a role in the maintenance of marital adjustment through its effects on the intimacy process.” Learning to express your feelings to your partner is important for having emotional intimacy in your relationship.
Although women are more likely to be thought of as the stereotypically emotional half of a couple, men experience emotional caring just as deeply. Men are seen as more emotionally restrictive but they may simply be showing their emotions differently depending on how they learned to express themselves.
Meeting the emotional needs of your partner requires work. Ideally, both of you are contributing to each other’s well-being and creating emotional intimacy in the relationship. A study of heterosexual couples found that when there was more effort toward emotional harmony by the woman, she felt more psychological distress and conflict in the relationship.
Commitment, communication and cooperation are the keys to a successful relationship, however, a great relationship takes more than that. When you are looking for deep, emotional intimacy in your relationship, you can do more to increase the strength of your bond.
Here are 5 Ways To Increase the Intimacy In Your Relationship
1. Trust deeply
Deep love requires deep trust. It is part of what love is to believe that your partner will protect and cherish your heart. In order to build emotional intimacy in your relationship, you must trust your partner wholeheartedly.
Lack of trust is similar to fear. You cannot fear that your partner might hurt you and still love them fully. If you suspect infidelity or other broken promises, speak to your partner about your fear. Then, commit to putting aside your fear and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your partner so you can continue to have emotional intimacy in your relationship.
2. Attune to your higher purpose
Each of you have a particular aspiration that you feel deeply about. When you can combine your dreams together to work toward a mutual goal, you build something together as a couple.
For example, if one of you is passionate about the environment and the other is passionate about helping children, you might combine your efforts into a joint volunteer activity. Perhaps offering to teach kids about how important it is to recycle is something you can both give your energy to, which offers a wonderful way to increase emotional intimacy in your relationship.
Building a legacy as a couple over something that you both care deeply about is like raising a child together. When your passion is paired with someone you are passionate about, your level of devotion to your relationship is intense, and emotional intimacy in your relationship will increase.
3. Release negative thinking
Commit to release the need to be right, the need to control your partner, the need to point out wrongs, and the need to keep score. When you remove these barriers to emotional intimacy in your relationship, you leave only the positive, supportive, kind emotions to give your partner.
If you find something that your partner has done in error, forgive them and then make a choice. Is it hurtful to them if you point it out? Can you bring their attention to it without hurting their feelings? If not, the best option may be to let it go.
For example, if your partner forgot to fill your gas tank after using your car, you have a choice to say something to them about it or not. In this example, you might tell your partner how grateful you are that they take good care of your car. Don’t say ‘usually’ or ‘except that you forgot to fill the tank.’ Work to build your partner up by praising their positive traits rather than pointing out the negative ones, and this will deepen the emotional intimacy in your relationship.
4. Be present
The gift of your full attention is a way to increase emotional intimacy in your relationship. When your partner is speaking, give them your full attention. Listen as if they were the most important person in your life; because they are.
If you’re going to stay together for the long-term, you will both need to learn excellent communication skills to increase the emotional intimacy of your relationship. This is true for both expressing yourself emotionally and listening intently. You can read more about the importance of listening and other healthy relationship tips here.
Your partner is also speaking to you in non-verbal ways. Be attentive to their body language, gestures, facial expressions and tone. As you do, you increase your emotional intelligence by being perceptive of emotions even if they are unspoken, and therefore, increase the emotional intimacy of your relationship.
5. Be your best self
Be accountable for your own emotional health. You cannot give more of yourself to your partner until you have more to give. Focus your energy on becoming your best self and you will have even better emotional intimacy in your relationship.
Likewise, look after your own physical and spiritual health. You’ll become better able to provide support to your partner. Your mental well-being is tied to the health of your physical body and when you are thriving, the emotional intimacy in your relationship will, too.