You might not think of divorced women as your go-to source for marriage advice. However, they can tell you what you shouldn’t do and which advice you should follow.
Divorced people can reflect on their relationship and break up to see where they went wrong. They can recognize how they could have handled things differently to improve the situation. Their ability to look back and identify these things can help you when you need advice.
Whether the divorced woman regrets the end of her marriage or embraces it, she can help you. We have done the hard work for you and rounded up the most frequent advice we could find from around the internet. Don’t ignore these words of wisdom.
Divorced Women Explain Marriage Advice Never to Ignore
1 – Learn His Love Language
Love languages help you identify how you express and receive love. You might show your love one way but receive it another.
Your love languages can change over time or throughout the day and include:
- words of affirmations
- acts of service
- quality time
- physical touch
Learning your partner’s love language positively impacts your marriage. You’ll know how to love your partner and what they need to feel cherished. Without knowing your partner’s language, you’ll be left to assume how he wants and needs love.
Additionally, it’ll help you understand when your partner is showing you love in ways you don’t always identify with. While you may not identify with the language they’re showing love in, you’ll at least recognize that they’re trying. Learning one another’s love languages encourages open communication, appreciation, and thoughtfulness.
2 – Let Go of Past Arguments
Every couple argues but moving forward requires forgiveness and letting go of the past. When you continue bringing up past arguments, it’s a sign that you haven’t resolved the problem. Taking the time to address the issue so you can let go is essential to having a healthy relationship.
Without discussing issues, they continue to grow and can break down your marriage. Addressing issues as they arise can help you respect one another and move forward without continually bringing up past arguments.
Good things fall apart so better things can take their place.#datingafterdivorce
— Dating After Divorce (@after_divorce) August 15, 2022
3 – You Don’t Always Have to Be Right
When you feel like you must always be right, it can interfere with the health of your relationship. Your partner will be unhappy if you never admit when you’re wrong or agree to disagree. Let go of your urge to be right so you strengthen your marriage.
— Dating After Divorce (@after_divorce) November 25, 2022
4 – Divorced Women Advise You Avoid Criticizing Your Partner’s Friends and Family
Criticizing the people your partner cares about will cause issues between you two. Avoid saying bad things about the people in their life, even if they complain about them.
He can vent but consider how you spend before you say something that might offend him. Instead, empathize with him without contributing to criticism. You should also never say bad things unprompted, as they’ll raise even more issues.
5 – Don’t Use Harsh Words
Saying harsh words to your partner can negatively impact your romance. Thinking before you speak can help you avoid saying something that’ll hurt your significant other. Criticism leads to resentment, which could cause you to get divorced.
6 – Divorced Women Know the Value of Sleeping Together
Making a habit of sleeping away from your partner can lead to disconnection. Cuddling up and sleeping together is a bonding opportunity that can strengthen your romance.
Along with sleeping together at night, you should also have sex regularly. Making love can help heal wounds and reduce conflict. It also shows your partner that you want and trust them.
7 – Find a Balance That Allows You to Choose Your Battles Without Stifling Your Feelings
You can say how you feel without creating an unnecessary battle. When your partner does something you don’t like, you can explain why it bothers you.
Then, they can learn about you and understand how and why you like something in a specific way. You can also ask for their help rather than getting angry that they didn’t offer it.
Sometimes, you can tell yourself that a situation isn’t that important and let it go without causing an argument. It’s all about finding a way to balance voicing your feelings and choosing your battles.
8 – Take Care of Yourself
Taking care of yourself reminds your spouse of the person they first met. Even as time changes your appearance, making yourself look nice can give them good feelings again. Do your hair, wear a nice outfit your partner likes, and put on some makeup if you like to wear it.
9 – Tell Your Partner When You Encounter an Ex
An essential part of a healthy relationship is having trust and open communication. When you encounter an ex, tell your current parent about it, even if it wasn’t a big deal to you.
You might receive a friend request on social media or run into them at the store. When you choose to keep it to yourself, it could backfire and look like you have something to hide.
Your partner might wonder about the secrecy and dishonesty, wondering if something is up between you and the ex. Bring it up casually and explain the encounter so they see you’re not hiding anything.
10 – Divorced Women Know You Should Communicate and Don’t Isolate Yourself
Communication is essential in a healthy relationship. You might feel like avoiding your partner and isolating yourself when angry. However, isolation only worsens the issue and doesn’t help find a resolution.
Instead, consider talking to your partner about why you’re angry or upset. Telling them what’s wrong gives you a chance to explain and listen. Rather than creating a divide that isolation causes, communication allows you to deepen your bond.
11 – Don’t Talk About Others or Compare Your Partner
It might seem harmless to say that someone looks good, has a nice style, or even that your partner looks better. However, saying these things can be confusing to your partner. It also might make them wonder why you’re paying so much attention to another person.
Comparing your partner to others is even worse because it makes them feel inadequate. Everyone is unique, and comparisons can be incredibly hurtful.
12 – Don’t Post Private Things Publicly
Some parts of your relationship should be kept private, and that means not sharing them on social media. It helps to discuss what you’re okay with sharing and learn your partner’s opinions.
Both of you deserve respect, including when it comes to social media. Avoid posting about fights, disagreements, annoyances, or sharing photos the other isn’t okay with. It’s destructive to your relationship and can cause irreparable damage.
13 – Accept Your Partner
You chose the person you want to marry, and now you must accept that. It’s unfair to become committed to someone and then ask them to change.
Whether they’re loud, silly, quiet, or unique, don’t try to change who they are. When certain things about your partner drive you crazy, make a conscious decision to focus on the things you love about them instead.
14 – Don’t Give Unsolicited Advice
When talking to your partner, you can offer support and listen to them. However, avoid talking to them as if you know what’s best.
You might offer unsolicited advice as a way to be helpful, but it often comes across as criticism. Likewise, giving too many corrections to your partner’s decisions can be detrimental. Not giving unsolicited advice even includes things like comments on their outfits and handling work issues.
15 – Put Each Other First
When you get married, you must be your spouse before anyone else. It means ignoring outside influences, like friends who talk badly about your relationship or partner. Putting each other first also requires prioritizing your partner over work or hobbies.
16 – Don’t Turn to Internet Strangers for Advice
One of the worst places to get advice is from strangers online. They don’t know you, your partner, or your relationship. Their advice doesn’t come from a place of caring, and they might tell you to do things they wouldn’t tell those in their personal life.
17 – Divorced Women Know the Value of Spending Uninterrupted Time Together
Take a break from your busy life to enjoy time together. Make the time just for the two of you, no matter what you’re doing. All that matters is putting your work and daily tasks on hold to connect.
During your time together, it’s essential to put down electronics. You don’t need to scroll your social media feed or respond to each text message you get. If it helps, consider leaving your phone in another room so you don’t get tempted to look at it during your time together.
18 – Make Sure Your Partner Knows You Love Them
Physically and verbally showing your partner that you love them can make all the difference. If you don’t make sure they know, they’ll likely begin to feel unloved. It could make them want to leave or get divorced.
Here is some advice from Lea, a marriage and relationship expert:
WIVES: You are perceptive, your husband is probably not. Don’t expect him to read your mind or to know what’s wrong with you. Just tell him clearly, and sometimes more than once. Dropping hints or expecting him to know will only lead to MORE frustration. Simply tell him.
— Trey & Lea’s Stronger Marriages (@StrongMarriage5) January 9, 2023
19 – Let Them Help You and Make Decisions
While you might get tempted to take charge, you should consider letting them do it sometimes. You might feel more at ease doing it yourself, but it can eventually lead to resentment.
Ask your partner for their opinion, let them help you, and go to them to help with decision-making. A marriage is about a partnership and means being teammates throughout the journey.
20 – Don’t Threaten to Get Divorced When You Get Mad
You might get tempted to threaten divorce when an argument gets heated. However, doing so only makes the likelihood of separating more likely. Packing your bags or even suggesting you might do so is incredibly hurtful, and it’s not okay no matter how angry you are.
Final Thoughts on Divorced Women Explain Marriage Advice Never to Ignore
This marriage advice from divorced women is helpful because it helps you understand what your partner needs and wants. While others couldn’t work it out, you can use their experience to build a stronger marriage.
Showing your partner that you love and respect them makes a difference. Spend time together and communicate so you can continue having a happy romance.