What is “chemistry” anyways?
The word chemistry itself is perplexing, isn’t it? Fortunately, we’re not discussing the type involving periodic tables and nerd goggles.
In simple terms, chemistry – in the context of a relationship – can be defined as a “connection between two people.” This type of chemistry can be romantic or platonic, positive or negative.
For this article, we’ll focus on positive and (mostly) romantic relationships. We’ll delve a bit into the science and psychology of romantic chemistry, as well.
So, how can you tell if this mysterious chemistry exist?
Here are ten of the more common signs:
1. Plenty of Smiling
If there’s a connection between two people, there’s likely to be plenty of smiles – and the reason is simple. When our brain is happy, we smile; a natural reaction that occurs between both friends and romantic interests.
Even shy and introverted types will flash the occasional big smile here and there when a connection is evident.
2. A Sense of Familiarity
Ever meet someone and just hit it off? Not only did you hit it off, but you’ve also felt as if you’ve known the person for years.
A strong sense of familiarly doesn’t happen very often – and that’s part of what makes the sensation incredibly unique. When it happens, there’s a strong feeling of comfort and a natural, flowing conversation.
3. Sexual Attraction
We’re genetically inclined to seek someone with whom we have a strong physical attraction. Human beings are a mating and reproducing species, after all.
While strong sexual magnetism is the basis for romantic connections, there may be a bit of physical attraction in friendships as well; albeit to a much lesser degree and for different, more complex reasons.
4. Spiritual Connection [Quote P.T.]
While we’re sometimes unable to understand why we feel a particular spiritual connection to someone, there’s no denying its presence.
Kelly Campbell, an Associate Professor of Psychology at California State University – San Bernardino, writes in Psychology Today:
“I do know that when I first meet someone and experience that feeling, it puts me into the flow of life. I am rejuvenated and eager to learn more.”
5. Same Sense of Humor
Two individuals with the same sense of humor are likely to have great chemistry. Furthermore, this shared humor deepens the feelings you have for the other person, even if they’re just a friend.
Most individuals who have a similar sense of humor also think alike. It’s also a reliable and tested way to determine whether or not you have a connection with someone else.
Mirroring is a human behavior wherein a person sub-consciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another. People engage in mirroring whether or not we realize.
It’s common for a person, when they feel a physical or emotional attraction to someone, to begin imitating the person’s posture or mannerisms (e.g., touching face, crossing arms, etc.)
Mirroring occurs in both platonic and romantic relationships.
7. Feeling Instantly Comfortable
We touched on this a bit in #2, but an immediate sense of comfort with someone is a powerful indication of chemistry.
When we meet someone for the first time, our natural tendency is to “stiffen up.” Our posture is straight, we use formal language, display nervous quirks, etc.
For some strange reason, certain people create this overwhelming sense of comfort (which may be spiritually-tied, as well). Many couples and close friends cite this phenomenon.
8. Same Interests
How many women can honestly say that they love video games? Football?
How many men can honestly say that they love romantic comedies? Cuddling? Amy Schumer?
This writer isn’t trying to stereotype or pigeonhole either gender. The point is that male and female interests tend to go the opposite directions. There’s nothing wrong with this fact – it is what it is.
For friends and lovers, especially of the opposite sex, it is scarce to find someone with the same interests. Again, this is one component of chemistry that is exceptionally powerful.
9. Physical Contact
Playful and innocent touching is a near-universal sign of chemistry. Though friends indeed engage in this type of “play touch,” it’s more commonplace during dating and further romance.
Play touch is the ultimate icebreaker. Men and women love using this behavior to gauge how someone feels about them. Mutual engagement of play touch is almost always a clear sign of chemistry.
The last behavior on our list is eagerness – missing the individual’s presence while anxiously awaiting the next opportunity to see them again.
Eagerness, while it doesn’t sound too exciting, is quite a beautiful thing. One delightful element of eagerness is that it remains – and to a strong degree– throughout the relationship.
Even on days when our partner drives us up a wall, and we feel as if we couldn’t get any more frustrated, this feeling slowly gives way to a sense of anticipation – and of longing for the person we love.