When you fall in love, your partner becomes the center of your universe. You think of that special someone all day long, sending texts, messages, and showering them with affection. Sometimes the giving becomes overwhelming for that person. Contrary to all the chick flicks, romance novels, and stories out there, loving someone “too much” can hurt a relationship.

Here are 9 signs you love your partner “too much:”

1. You have put them on a pedestal

It’s wonderful to fall in love and put your partner in the shining light. Another thing is to put them up on some pedestal at all times. While your partner will enjoy this in the beginning (who doesn’t like attention), it can turn on you later on. No one wants to be seen as perfect. It’s hard to live up to that. When you show too much attention, it can be exhausting. It’s a real turn-off. For one, your mate might feel as if he/she is being rushed into something that doesn’t feel right at the moment. In some cases, your constant adoration can just fuel an-already-big ego. Love takes time to grow.

2. You have put yourself last

When you put someone first, you are obviously forgetting about you. If you are constantly thinking about your “one” and not taking care of you first, you have jumped into obsession. You must take time to do those things you still enjoyed before this person entered your life. Make time for you to keep doing your sports, hobbies and other interests. Your mate will appreciate you giving him or her that time as well. Eventually you can both find interests to share together.

3. You have abandoned your friends

The worst thing you can do is abandon your support group of friends. You can incorporate your relationship with your friends and his/her friends as well. You don’t have to alienate from all those who have been there for you in the past just to make this person yours alone. If you are only contacting friends when your partner isn’t around, your friends will eventually lose interest in you.

4. You have put your goals on hold

When all that you’ve worked for comes to a halt for another, you have lost yourself. You can’t appreciate your partner’s goals unless you continue with yours. A healthy relationship requires the giving and sharing of plans, goals, and dreams. If it’s one-sided, there is an imbalance that can turn toxic quickly. You contribute as much as your counterpart. Don’t put his or her needs way ahead and forget all the things that have brought you to this point. You matter!

5. You smother them

Love is about respect and requires no insecurities. Smothering is a sign that you fear losing this person. You will go above and beyond to make sure this person knows how much you love him/her. Loving someone is allowing them to be who they were before you came along. They need to still partake in their other activities. When you smother, you are sucking the air out of the relationship. It’s great to get texts and sweet cards, but when it becomes a bombardment of those things, the person might lose interest. Keep it simple!

6. You entice them with sex all the time

You enjoy making love, but when you start using sex as an escape to entice your partner, you are not being honest. Sex is an amazing form of bonding, but to use it as a weapon is toxic. Addiction can lead to other destructive behaviors. Giving into sex can lead to feelings of being used. Also, using sex to fix an argument, or blindside your partner, is malicious. Making love is a natural act of relationships. Using it for everything can lead to feeling used later on.

7. You are jealous of everything.

True love is secure. There is no chances of cheating when there is respect and trust. But, if you are constantly checking your mate’s phone, emails, social media and pockets, you have a serious obsession. This is bordering on a personality disorder. You cannot expect your partner to be questioned all the time. Eventually he/she will leave. Nothing says disaster more than a jealous mate. Jealousy displays a sign of pure desperation.

8. You try to control everything

Micromanaging in a relationship is not showing trust. It’s a behavior that stunts growth. Relationships are made up of partnership, giving and taking, sharing, and deciding together. If you are the one making all the decisions, your partner will eventually get tired of this because he/she will feel that their opinion is being bulldozed. Psychologists at the University of Cumbria, led by Dr. Elizabeth Bates, questioned 1,104 young men and women to determine aggression and control in relationships. In conclusion, women have become the more aggressive and controlling subject in a relationship, whereas years ago, the women were submissive and victims to the abuse.

9. You are constantly showering with gifts

We all like to feel special, and receiving gifts is delightful. However, when you are the only one giving, it becomes too much. It’s not a sign of love. It’s a sign of insecurities. Over pampering becomes a smothering act. You can suffocate your mate with too much of anything. Giving of yourself is just as important as material things. You can slowly show your appreciation with small things.

Too much of anything is unhealthy. You begin to scare people off because most folks don’t handle the overwhelming response. Rushing into anything is a sign of past traumas and desperation. Take your time. Allow love to grow in a healthy manner.

Related article: 10 Signs You Have An Emotionally Unavailable Partner 

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