As humans, we tend to beat ourselves up for things we’ve done in the past. We carry embarrassment, guilt and memories like a giant sack of potatoes across continents on our backs. Every so often, we sit the sack down and let things go to no sooner pick it right back up with regrets, anger, jealousy, resentments, and shame. We feed the emotional patterns while giving power to them.
Here are 8 emotional patterns you need to avoid:
This is the ego’s way of dictating your worth. It will recreate past stories and use them to make you stay stuck in a place of infinite hell. Shame is one of those emotions that is quiet. It won’t speak up. It sits churning its nasty grip while making you feel that you are not entitled to happiness. The cure for shame is complete vulnerability to step up and be authentic in your power and gifts.
“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.” ~ Brene Brown
2. Jealousy is a harmful emotional response.
The ugly green monster shows up when you expect something to be yours and it hasn’t happen. Expectations are the fueling energy to jealousy. Jealousy is a disease that the immature mind believes to surpass in love. What we want and how we wanted our affected by this emotion? It is a child-like tantrum that serves nothing but vile. If you want to succeed be happy for another. Allow them to excel and in that moment you will find that helping another is the best gift for your peace of mind.
The things that ache the most are usually the ones we can never grasp again. They are the memories that have been placed on some pedestal of romanticism. Regrets are painstakingly dangerous. They are the obscure longing of impossible things that we did not do, or did wrongly. They are the nostalgia cues of a drunken mind full of living in the past.
Carrie Fisher says, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ” Just like regrets, resentment is built on the unapologetic gesture of past events. You cannot return back there. You cannot change what has happened, but you have the complete capacity and opportunity to make things right as of this moment.
5. Judgment is an adverse emotional pattern.
Criticism is self-sabotaging. When you judge another it comes from fear of not understanding them. Judging arrives through ignorance, childhood programming, and the idea that you are in control of all. In order to release judgment you must make peace with your own choices. You must be willing to stand and detach while accepting that we are never going to be perfect. And, while you are at it embrace your own imperfections.
“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.”~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
6. Unforgiving of yourself and others.
This is a big one! Forgiveness is not for anyone else but yourself. When you forgive another for their wrongdoing you are allowing the space for freedom. When we hold on to anger, hatred, and unloving emotions, the only one being hurt is you.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”~ Mahatma Gandhi
There comes a point in everyone’s life where there’s no return. You pass the point of certainty and assurance. The doors close. The windows are nailed shut. Surviving is too much. The darkness embraces you in a warm blanket of despair and it just feels better to stay there. Depression hits anyone. It doesn’t care about social status, gender, age, race, or ethnicity. Depression doesn’t care that you are “tight with God,” a church goer, a monk, or even the most spiritual being out there. It’s a dark hole that doesn’t understand rational analysis. Get help. Do not allow the claws of this emotion to bring you into complete despair. Do not sit with it until it controls every part of your life. There is always a way!
8. Fear is an emotional response.
Fear paralyzes us. It holds us captive and imprisons everything we know to be true. But without fear there is no courage. We can use this emotion to gather strength. Fear doesn’t let us see truth. It’s up to us to remove it, through baby steps, or complete plunges into the unknown. It requires the tenacity of a positive outlook. To read more about how to overcome your fears, refer to our related article here.
Do yourself a favor…stop the self-sabotaging. Drop the past. Start today. You are beating yourself up for no reason but as punishment for what happened to you eons ago. Find something outside of you to sustain you, like the wisdom of divinity, faith, belief or whatever you want to call it. Stand in your glory and light. Embark in the mysteries and mysticism of this clarity. Do not allow Ego to dictate your worth. Do not allow the media and others to put a price on you. Get out of your own way. Stand up! Stand in gratitude for all that you’ve overcome. Own your part in your drama. Be responsible for it all but let it go.