Feelings of joy mixed with anger and pain often are the hallmarks of a relationship with a sociopath. At one point in your relationship, everything was blissful and then it changed and it seemed like it was somehow your fault. Sound familiar?
It was never your fault, but a sociopath wants you to believe that you’ve done something wrong to have caused the pain in your relationship. They are only using you and they want you to believe their lies for their own benefit.
Break the cycle of dependence in a relationship with a sociopath by reaffirming your rights:
* You have the right to set personal boundaries and have your partner respect them.
* You have the right to control your own finances.
* You have the right to make choices for yourself.
* You have the right to leave the drama of the relationship and not feel punished.
* You have the right to be loved, unconditionally.
In a recent mental health report, psychologists say that for a sociopath “Sustaining a marital relationship is often difficult due to expressions of physical aggression, extreme irritability and manipulative behavior. These problems are accompanied by a lack of motivation to change.” If they see that you are not falling for their game, then they will to manipulate you again. If that doesn’t work, they will move on to the next target.
Sociopathy and other personality disorders can be more common that you may imagine. For example, women who experience childbirth are at risk for developing a personality disorder due to the emotional response to giving birth. Up to 20% of mothers may experience a psychological problem according to a study on maternal mental health. Postpartum depression is also a potential mental health risk for women who give birth.
In order for a person to recover from a sociopathic disorder, cognitive-behavioral therapy is prescribed “in which the therapist works with the patient to understand motives and meanings behind their behavior and focuses on strengthening the patient’s capacity to endure frustration, anger and loneliness without acting impulsively on those feelings.”
Psychologists believe that cognitive-behavioral therapy works for sociopathic people. “In general, the aim of this therapy is to focus on the feelings that underlie the associated problems of ‘thinking in black and white.’ Furthermore, the patient’s family may be trained to set limits with the patient, rather than giving in to their threats and unreasonable demands.”
7 Warning Signs You’re In A Relationship With A Sociopath
1. A sociopath will break your boundaries.
Because they have no respect for the rights of others, a sociopath will act like you didn’t tell them not to do that thing that they just did. You may have tried to set boundaries by telling your partner what you like and don’t like, but they won’t respect them. A sociopath is focused on themselves and their desires, not yours.
Getting a sociopath to own up to their inconsiderate behavior is like pulling teeth, that is, painful. The nature of a sociopath makes them infallible in their own eyes. They did nothing wrong as far as they are concerned. A sociopath says that you must be the one who has problems if you want to try to control them like that.
2. A sociopath will use threats and promises to manipulate you.
A sociopath promises rewards to you in exchange for a specific behavior from you. If you do __, they will love you forever, etc. Or alternatively, if you don’t do __, they will tell everyone some horrible secret about you, etc.
Your romantic partner should love you not if or when, but always and unconditionally. It should be a matter of your own free will to love them or not love them and for them to love you. When your partner puts conditions on receiving their love, it’s a warning sign that you’re in a relationship with a sociopath.
3. A sociopath acts aggressively in frightening ways.
Your partner has actually scared you more than once with their behavior that is bordering on violent. Their anger can come from nowhere and erupt like a bomb. This can be one of the scariest parts of being in a relationship with a sociopath.
4. You’re in a relationship with a sociopath if you feel unloved.
A sociopath is not capable of love but they are capable of acting like they are in love. If you’ve ever felt a gut feeling that your partner was not truly happy, you might have a good reason to be worried.
5. You’re in a relationship with a sociopath if your partner has more control than you do.
Your partner has access to the bank accounts, vehicles, keys, passwords, PIN numbers, credit cards, loans, etc. and you do not have control over much at all. A sociopath likes to have power and control over you and they will work to keep the balance of power on their side, not yours.
6. A sociopath lies to everyone, including themselves.
It is not likely that you can argue your way out of a conversation with a sociopath. They know all the right words to say to convince you. Read our related article on 5 Signs You’re in a Relationship With a Narcissist.
7. You’re in a relationship with a sociopath if they don’t seem capable of change.
By now you may have asked your partner to change their behavior because you’ve started to see that they act in ways that you dislike. Unfortunately, a sociopath won’t be likely to see that their behavior is the problem. If your partner is a sociopath, they are only in the relationship for their own personal gain.