In a relationship, it takes extreme sacrifice, commitment, and unconditional love for one another in order to work. Above all else, it takes seeing your partner as your equal, and not getting into a relationship for the sole reason of gaining something from it. Many relationships fail for this reason, in fact – people tend to see a relationship as an escape route from loneliness, as a way to heal or fix themselves, or even as a means of financial security. In other words, most people get into relationships in order to gain something, not to give something. They want happiness and companionship, but don’t think about providing this equally for their partner.
For a relationship to truly work long-term, both people need to first become friends – the best of friends, in fact. They need to spend time getting to know one another down to the core, and simply enjoying life together. If you can look at your lover and partner as a friend as well, then you have much better chances of sticking it out long-term.
Relationship and marriage expert Hellen Chen says that 85 percent of relationships end in a breakup, and 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. The numbers don’t look too promising, but this doesn’t mean your relationship will fail. You just have to know how to make things work after the initial honeymoon phase passes.
So, if you want to know if your relationship can endure life’s endless pressures, you just need to ask yourself if you see your partner as not just a lover, but as a best friend, too.
Here are 7 signs that your partner is indeed your best friend:
1. You laugh and joke around with him/her more than anyone else.
Sure, life can get in the way of our happiness sometimes. It can steal our joy, beat us down, and leave us to deal with all the broken pieces. However, your partner can pull you away from the seriousness of life for a little while. They know how to make you laugh when you don’t even feel like smiling, and you suddenly forget about all those petty problems that keep you up at night.
2. You can relax and have fun with your partner.
Your partner should make you feel comfortable in your own skin and bring out that fun, crazy side you didn’t even know you had. They care about your well-being, and want to see you having a good time. If you feel genuinely happy and carefree around your partner, then they’re probably your best friend, too.
3. You can count on them to be there for you no matter what.
Without a shadow of a doubt, you can count on your lover to pick you up when life knocks you down and bruises your spirit. When you feel broken and don’t want to keep going, they will stand by your side and do whatever it takes to help you. They don’t leave you when you need them. You don’t feel like a burden to them because they care about you so deeply that they would cross oceans and fight off dragons for you. They would take a bullet for you, carry the emotional weight that you’ve been dragging around for so long, and help you pick up the pieces so you can start over.
Best friends do this for us without question, and if you’ve found a lover that you can count on with your life, then you have the best of both worlds, my friend.
4. You can feel comfortable doing absolutely nothing together.
You don’t need to go out of your way to impress your partner – you can just sit around and do nothing, and not have to entertain them or keep them occupied. You can simply ‘be’ together and not have to rely on anything outside yourselves for enjoyment. Their company is enough for you, and vice versa.
5. You can argue with them, but not let it ruin your relationship.
Best friends argue sometimes, but they don’t let their differences tear them apart. In your relationship, you might hit a few roadblocks, but you don’t let them become dead ends. You work through your problems instead of allowing them to end your relationship. Your partner works with you to find a middle ground instead of trying to simply win an argument to appease their own ego.
6. You can talk to them for hours on end and not run out of things to say.
Conversation doesn’t feel forced with your best friends, and it doesn’t with your partner, either. Why? Because you consider your partner your best friend in the whole world, and you relate to them on every single level. You could stay up all hours of the night talking to them, and only the need for sleep would cause the conversation to end. You enjoy connecting with them and hearing what they have to say, because you relate to them on a deep soul level.
7. You bring them along to hang out with your friends.
You consider your partner a best friend, so they get to hang out with your circle of friends, too. Although you have a romantic relationship with your partner, you can also just hang out and have a good time with your pals without jealousy or possessiveness getting in the way. You have more fun with your partner around, so you want them to join you at least some of the time when you meet up with friends.
If you have said ‘Yes’ to the majority of the points above while reading this article, then your partner is definitely your best friend, too!
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