Selfish people come across our lives all the time. There is a difference between self-loving and being selfish. This type of person only thinks about themselves while bulldozing their way on others to get what they want. Psychologist F. Diane Barth defines selfishness as having two primary characteristics: “1. Being concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself; 2. Having no regard for the needs or feelings of others. If someone is both totally self-involved and uncaring about anyone else, they are not likely to be very responsive to you in any way other than evaluating how you meet their needs.”
Here are 6 behaviors that create selfish people (and how to avoid them):
1. Selfish people exhibit manipulation.
The person who will utilize behavior for their benefit without regard to you is a master manipulator. Selfishness is not a genetic physical disposition in our psyche. It is a learned behavior from childhood. Children are suppose to be selfish up to a point since they are learning from their environments. It’s important to distinguished from the behaviors of self love and self care. However, the manipulator feeds on another person’s self-esteem. Stand back and realize that you are not getting anywhere by arguing with this person. This type of selfishness has little or no regard to your needs. If you are feeling like you are being used then most likely you are.
Selfish individuals are emotional tyrants. They are uncaring and have no sympathy for your needs. The more love and reward you show them the easier it is for them to feed from your kindness. They might appear charming and caring at first but their behavior goes astray the moment you don’t submit to their desires. The best way to deal with an uncaring and unselfish behavior is to put yourself first and let them know it. They don’t tolerate that. They are all about them. Explaining to them things like this is redundant since they can’t see past their own issues.
3. Plotting and scheming.
This specific trait or action arises from the fear of losing control. The moment you step into the picture you are disrupting their goal. The selfish person will continue doing things behind your back and plotting a different angle to suit themselves. The lack of control scares them. They have to manipulate everything. The best way to deal with this type of behavior is to show them who is really in charged through kindness. And when that doesn’t work it’s important to let them go. You cannot be responsible for how they feel since they cannot see your point of view.
4. Self-centered and conceited.
Narcissism and selfishness arrive from a lack of self-worth and an attention seeking behavior. In order to feel better this type of personality will brag and make everything about them seem relevant. Stay true to yourself. The moment they put you down remember not to take it personally. Anyone who goes around hurting another is truthfully a hurt individual. They must put themselves up by putting another down.
5. Giving and sharing do not come easily.
Selfish people pretend they care. They might say the right things but their actions speak loudly. They only do things for others when they will receive great benefit from them. It’s not in their nature to go out and give. If they do it is because they want the attention back to them for giving. They will make sure they let the world know how wonderful they’ve been. The easiest way to readjust their behavior is to take away their focus. Do not praise the behavior. It’s best to just allow the act itself to go unnoticed.
6. Selfish people expect others to do things for them.
A selfish person has high expectations of what they need. They live based on what others think of them and what they can do for them. What can they get out of this? They expect the world to revolve around their needs and desires. They ask for lots of favors, so stop doing them. Don’t give into their demands. Limit the time you spend around this type of person because if they don’t have you available to their demands they will not need to be with you.
To some extent, we are all considered selfish when we give to ourselves first and foremost. But there is a line between narcissism and self-care. Being selfish is self-absorbing of others. This type of personality is arrogant and self-indulging. There are ways to deal with selfishness and remove those who bathe only in their glory. End all relationships that don’t support you because you deserve better.