Our emotions can easily get the best of us if we don’t check in with them often, and sometimes, gaining control and not allowing our emotions to totally dominate our lives can become a challenge. However, people with high levels of emotional intelligence have tapped into what drives their emotions, which helps them in situations where emotions tend to run on overdrive. Of course, anyone can increase their emotional intelligence with practice and commitment, but knowing how to do this seems like a mystery to many. With that said, knowing what emotionally intelligent people avoid might serve as a better starting point.

Here are five things people with high emotional intelligence avoid:

emotional intelligence

1. They don’t allow their emotions to take over their lives totally.

People with high emotional intelligence realize the importance of allowing their emotions to surface, but they don’t let those feelings control their lives. They understand that we wouldn’t be human without emotions, but those emotions don’t have to dictate every second of our lives. They take a few deep breaths and take a journey within to understand what those emotions want them to take away from the situation. Then, they allow their rational mind to come into play to balance out their emotional intelligence. Emotions drive much of our existence as human beings, but they don’t have to rule you or define who you are.

2. Emotionally intelligent people don’t blame others.

Above all else, emotionally intelligent people take responsibility for their feelings. They don’t blame others for any situations or events in their lives; they take full ownership of their emotions, and can admit when they’re in the wrong. People with high emotional intelligence know that playing the blame game only sets them farther back in life, and puts them in the victim mentality. Emotionally intelligent people know that no one can make them feel a certain way; they decide how they feel in any given moment.

3. Those with emotional intelligence don’t hide their feelings in fear of what others may think.

While emotionally intelligent people don’t let their feelings run wild and take the reigns completely, they also don’t mask those feelings. They know that stuffing their feelings in some deep, dark place will only backfire later on, because emotions should flow in and out, much like your own breath. You wouldn’t hold your breath forever in fear of letting that breath go, so why do the same with emotions? Emotionally intelligent people don’t hold on to their feelings; they express them in order to release that burden and continue on with their lives in a healthy manner.

4. People with emotional intelligence don’t apologize for how they feel.

Emotionally intelligent people realize that, although they have a high awareness about their emotions, this doesn’t exclude them from being a part of the human race. They understand they don’t have superhuman capabilities that allow them not to feel pain, hurt, or sadness. Instead, they embrace this and fully let go of negative feelings when needed. They also show happiness and joy when they feel these emotions. That’s because they know life works in a series of ups and downs, and all emotions serve as lessons for us in the grand scheme. They don’t feel the need to say sorry for how they feel. Instead, they know that emotions come from the heart, and the heart will always express itself authentically and unapologetically.

emotional intelligence

5. People with high emotional intelligence don’t search for happiness; they create it.

People with a high level of emotional intelligence also don’t beg, claw, or fight their way to finding happiness. They don’t demand it of life because they know that life owes them nothing. They owe it to the universe to create their own goodness and happiness, so they only seek happiness within. Once they have tapped into themselves and realized what keeps their heart beating every day, they live out that purpose and let their light shine brightly. Highly emotionally intelligent people know they won’t just stumble upon happiness; they understand that a journey to happiness means nothing if you can’t enjoy the ride. So, they have cultivated enough positive energy within themselves that they see all of life as a beautiful, sacred blessing, abounding with enough happiness for everyone to take part in.