Many of us have trouble asking people, even people we love and trust and are vulnerable with, to give us anything. Maybe it is part of the great American self-reliance mythology where we should never be forced to ask for help from others. Maybe it is a a part of the modern disconnection between neighbors. For whatever reason, we have trouble asking others to give us things. We don’t want to be dead weight in any relationship, whether it is at work or intensely personal. But there are some things you should never be afraid to ask for in any relationship, not just romantic ones.
5 Things You Should Never Be Afraid to Ask For
Friendships, family relationships or even just working relationships with coworkers all should have these five basic things and you should never be afraid to ask for them.
The truth is a powerful thing and everyone should ask for the truth when in any kind of relationship. No one likes being lied to. We face enough deception on the internet and in the media in general. We should always tell the truth to our friends, significant others and family members. Sometimes the truth hurts or it fundamentally changes the way we see someone, but we should never be afraid to ask for it. We may not even want to hear it but we always need the truth if we are to make sound judgments. You cannot make an informed decision without as many of the facts as possible. The truth, as much as it pains us, will set us free.
Every single human being on the planet deserves a basic minimum level of respect, no matter how much you disagree or even abhor each other. You deserve to have your personal space respected to include freedom from physical harm or harassment. You deserve to be free from emotional or verbal abuse by others. Never be afraid to ask someone to respect your personal space or to leave you alone if they cannot. But respect is a two-edged sword and cuts both ways. If you demand respect for yourself, then you must be respectful of others.
You are who you are. People in a relationship with you should accept you for who and what you are. You cannot fundamentally change who you are, so if they want to have a relationship with you then they need to accept you for who you are and not try to change you. On the flip side, you should accept your partner for who they are as well. Many people get into relationships with the false notion that they can change the other person or fix them somehow. You can decide that you want a change in your own life but you cannot make that decision for others, nor should they make that decision for you. If you love and care for someone, you will accept them for who they are even if you don’t like a particular feature of their personality.
Whether you need time alone or time with your partner, you should never be afraid to ask for time. We have a finite amount of time in this life and we can never get it back once it is spent. Being in a relationship requires some time spent together, and each couple or group of people will have to determine what best works for them. But if you feel that you aren’t getting enough time with them, then don’t be afraid to ask for some more time. Time helps us bond and heal.
But people also need their alone time to recharge or to de-stress after a long day. If you need time alone or away from the daily grind, then don’t be afraid to ask for some time apart. It doesn’t mean you care for each other any less, but is a natural part of many relationships.
None of us are perfect and we will screw up from time to time. No one should keep a running tally of our mistakes only to throw them back into our face at a future date. It is at best counterproductive, and at worst, destroys a relationship. Forgive and move on. Don’t hold onto the pain from a mistake; it only holds you back from meaningful change and growth.