Introverts have so many desirable, positive traits, but are still largely misunderstood both in general and oftentimes in a relationship. Introverts make up 16-50% of the population, which means you probably know at least one introvert in your life. People mislabel them as aloof, unfeeling, or shy, but they just require ample alone time to recharge their batteries. They actually love people, but spending too much time around others drains their energy stores. They acquire their energy from within, which explains why they don’t mind time in solitude.
If you’re in a relationship with an introvert, it’s important to understand their personality traits so you can have a thriving, healthy partnership with them.
Here are 5 things you need to know about being in a relationship with an introvert:
1. They love having deep, stimulating conversations.
Dating an introvert means you had better prepare yourself for hours of conversation ranging from the meaning of life to quantum physics to aliens to everything in between. They may not show off their conversation skills much when you first meet them, but give them a chance to warm up to you. Introverts don’t like small talk, and would rather just cut to the chase and peel back the layers of your soul immediately without playing games. They enjoy a conversation that teaches them something new, or challenges their opinions.
Gossip, fashion, sports, and other common topics of conversation just don’t interest them. Introverts live for midnight talks that really make them think, ones that cut their soul wide open and give them a broader perspective of life.
2. An introvert takes a while to open up to others.
Sometimes, talking to an introvert can feel like pulling teeth, but show some patience with them. They will come around; they just need some time to feel comfortable with you. Introverts may not have the best history with relationships, as people tend to walk all over them or leave them in the dust from a lack of understanding. An introvert needs a lot of mental stimulation, and frankly, most people don’t give them what they need.
Just show them that you do find them interesting and worthy of talking to, and your support will have them opening up in no time.
3. They require a lot of time alone to restore their energy.
Introverts acquire their energy from spending time in solitude, so respect their boundaries. If they don’t feel like going out on the town with you tonight, don’t push them to do so. While introverts don’t mind having fun and going places, they also need time to themselves so they can decompress and recuperate. The world moves at a very fast pace, and sometimes, an introvert just can’t keep up. They put their self-care and self-love at a high priority, so spending time alone allows them the chance to slow down and work on their mental and spiritual health.
Don’t make them feel guilty or wrong for needing some space; support them instead, and realize that they can be a better partner to you if you allow them some time to recharge their batteries.
4. An introvert may have a hard time sharing their feelings with people.
Like we said before, introverts may have been burned by people a few times before. They have a high sensitivity to energies and feelings, and sometimes feel overwhelmed by the conflicting and turbulent frequencies on the planet. An introvert might retreat into their shell from time to time, afraid of feeling too vulnerable. If they don’t want to open up to you just yet, don’t pressure them to. Simply tell them: “You can talk to me whenever you feel ready.” This will show them that you support them, but also care about hearing what they feel deep down inside.
Introverts just need someone to make them feel safe and loved, so offer this to them, and they will eventually pour their heart out to you.
5. They stray away from loud, crowded places.
If you pursue a relationship with an introvert, keep in mind that they tend to avoid noisy, bustling places. They would much rather spend a quiet evening with Chinese takeout, Netflix, and you than try to fight crowds and pretend to enjoy themselves. Of course, they do go shopping and to the grocery store and other “normal” activities, but they just do these things in small doses. The hectic environment of most places tends to overwhelm their senses, as they have a high sensitivity to stimuli.
However, inviting them to a picnic in a quiet meadow or taking them hiking in the wilderness will light up their soul and show them that you do understand them. Especially if you treat them to these things after a noisy party or chaotic shopping trip.
Remember, introverts just need balance in life. Offer this to them, and they will likely stick around for a while.