In our minds, there are often two mental images we have of ourselves. There is the mental image of where we are right now in our current reality. Then there’s the mental image of where we want to be. And we usually want to be a happy, more successful, fitter, healthier, and more confident ‘us.’
How big is the difference between your two mental images; and is the image of the ‘now’ occasionally darker than the reality? This is an internal divide we all face.
If our ‘present’ image is not what we would like it to be, there is a chance that we are settling for less than we deserve. Or maybe that we have accepted our current reality because of weariness or bad experiences.
Here are five signs that we’re settling for less than we deserve:
1. We are often envious of what others have and are doing.
We may be envious of the success of another person, or their popularity, their style, their looks, their wealth, or their position in life. It is natural to feel like this from time to time, but it’s unhealthy if the feeling lingers too long and takes hold.
Let’s take a look at the reality of the situation. First of all, what we see and envy about someone else is only our perception and may not reflect reality. And even if it is reality and we feel we are settling for less, what are we going to do about it?
When we spend time being envious of what others have, we do not recognize all the things for which we should be grateful for in our lives. We do not limit our envy to those we know, most of the time; we can be just as envious of strangers. The bottom line is the “grass is always greener” syndrome keeps us from recognizing the good in our lives.
We know that being envious or angry at the success of another is merely taking away from our happiness. It just isn’t healthy or productive to spend any amount of our time obsessing over what others have. If we truly feel we need to achieve something, make it for the right reasons and take the necessary actions to move towards the goal instead of settling for your current reality.
2. When we spend our day waiting for it to be over.
When we are having a bad day and simply hoping to get through it, we are doing ourselves a disservice because we have given up. We must remember that even in the midst of a bad day there is always something that can make the day better. If we are hoping just to get the day over with, it might be time to rethink our attitude and look for the silver lining.
3. We spend our time avoiding the things that need to be done.
Let’s face it, not everything in our day is fun and exhilarating. In fact, there are a lot of not-so-exciting actions that needs to take place to keep on the path to our potential. The problem is we just don’t like doing the boring stuff, and that means we are settling and making it difficult to achieve our goals.
Many times the avoidance of these tasks come by way of distractions that do not lend value to our life. When we allow ourselves to be taken away from what we need to do to achieve big things, we are not honoring our truth. The goal is to keep focused on the goal so we’re not settling for less than we deserve.
4. Life isn’t going as planned.
Sometimes life throws us a few curve balls, and it gets us off our game. Maybe nothing is inspiring us anymore, or we find ourselves playing it safe and settling for mediocrity. Our get-up-and-go has got up and left! It’s important that we get it back, and we can do that by spending time fostering our creative self. We need to take the time to take care of our mental well-being so we can navigate the challenges of daily life.
5. You doubt everything!
A little self-doubt is a good thing. It makes us try harder or think things through just one more time before we commit to something important. If frequent doubt goes unchecked, though, the minor doubts can grow into something far greater and can end up defining a lot of our decisions and thought processes. In other words, it can hold us back. To grow more confident in who we are and what we believe, we must continue to take action. It’s that action that helps eliminate the self-doubt.
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It’s time to stop and think about what we deserve. It’s hard to know whether we are settling for less if we don’t have a clear understanding of our true worth. We can do that by getting clear on our goals and the whys behind them. Clarity of purpose is a great compass for life.