“Sometimes we spend more efforts with people that are strangers in terms of making an impression than the person that’s closest to us. And you just gotta remember not to take for granted that person that’s closest to you.” – Michael Douglas
No one wants to think that their partner is treating them poorly. Sometimes, when we’re being treated like crap, we don’t even notice until it’s far too late. However, the people around us often do notice what’s going on. You may find that your friends and family have tried to discuss this exact issue with you. It’s a hard thing to come to terms with.
There are definite signs that we can keep an eye out for when someone we love is treating us poorly. By recognizing the signs, you’ll be able to make the bad treatment stop, or find a way to get out of that relationship entirely. No one deserves to be treated with anything less than complete respect and love when it comes to their relationships.
5 Signs Someone You Love Is Treating You Poorly
1. You’re being taken for granted
You might not notice right away that this is the case. But consider how much you’re doing for your partner versus what they do for you. Is your relationship equal? Sometimes we have to take on more responsibility in our relationships, but the point is to do so in order to help our partners. But if you find that you’re constantly doing things for your partner and can’t seem to remember the last time they did something for you, you might just be getting taken advantage of.
“We wouldn’t wash ourselves with dirt and expect to be clean. We also wouldn’t bang our head against a wall in attempt to cure a headache. So, why do any of us invest in relationships that deplete our energy and self-worth?” says Kimberly Keys, author and past division president of the American Counseling Association.
In order to turn this around, you’ll want to sit with your partner and have a serious discussion about the equality of your partnership. Your partner may not be aware they’re taking advantage of you because you’re always willing to help them when they need it.
2. Your partner doesn’t respect you
If you find that your partner often talks over you or teases you in ways you don’t enjoy being teased, you may be facing a partner who doesn’t respect you. Other signs of lack of respect include your partner exhibiting passive aggressive behavior towards you.
“Lack of respect can show up in many different forms. One is the lack of forward-moving actions. Others are verbal or emotional abuse, and passive-aggressive behavior. All of these forms of abusive behavior can be so subtle that it is hard to recognize it for what it is,” says professor of philosophy Berit Brogaard, D.M.Sci., Ph.D.
When these signs start to show up, it’s important to let your partner know that you demand a certain amount of respect in your relationship or it’s never going to work. If your partner refuses to move forward and work on their level of respect for you, it might be a good idea to let the relationship run its course. You deserve to have a partner who will respect you, the choices that you make, and the person that you are.
3. Your partner oversteps your boundaries
Have you told your partner that certain things bother you, and you would prefer that they didn’t do those things to or around you? I’m sure many of us have had those kinds of discussions. Most adult relationships do! However, if you find that your partner is constantly crossing your boundaries when it comes to the things that you would prefer not to happen, then this is a big sign that your partner is treating your poorly.
Your boundaries should be firm, and your partner should always respect them. If this happens, it’s time to have a serious talk with your partner about your boundaries, and how it makes you feel when they get crossed. If they can’t respect your boundaries, then it’s definitely time to find a partner who can.
“When couples are clear about the boundaries for their own relationship, what the rules, goals, and expectations are, the relationship can be stable,” says clinical psychologist Ryan Howes.
4. Your partner doesn’t meet your emotional or physical needs
A sign that your partner is treating you poorly is their inability to meet your needs, whether those needs be physical or emotional. Your partner may be very sweet, but your sex life could be extremely lacking. Or, your relationship may be all about sex and you’re not getting your emotional needs met. Your partner might be entirely focused on themselves in either area, which leaves you without the type of emotional or physical support that you need from them.
“Loving relationships are a process by which we get our needs met and meet the needs of our partners too… When it is not, then things turn sour, and the relationship ends,” says psychologist and dating expert Jeremy Nicholson.
Going to a counselor may be a way to get your relationship back on track, especially if you both feel that it’s something you want to keep pursuing.
5. Your partner doesn’t take interest in how you’re feeling
You may notice that you’re the one who always asks how your partner is doing, if they need anything, and how they’re feeling. If your partner doesn’t seem to be able to do the same for you, it’s a sign that your partner is treating you poorly and you’re not getting what you need out of the relationship.
Maybe your partner just never considers that they have to ask to get an answer, or maybe they’re in a very stressful time in their life that makes them a bit inconsiderate. Whatever the reason, making sure your partner knows a relationship is a two-way street may be the way to get this type of behavior to turn itself around.
It doesn’t feel good to be treated poorly by your partner, especially if it’s something neither of you can control. Sometimes, life gets in the way and we stop putting our best foot forward in our relationships. It happens! But, you should always know that it’s your right to demand to be treated fairly and with respect. If your partner loves you and wants to do what’s best, they will turn their behavior around. If not, you can always find someone who will treat you the way you deserve.