Talking to a wall is what it can feel like when your partner is becoming distant in your relationship. You feel like you are lacking a connection that is meaningful in any way. You feel like a balloon adrift in the wind, just waiting to be popped.
A distant partner can feel scary. You worry about what could have happened to cause such a change. Then you wonder if you are imagining things as you two sleepwalk through your lives together doing only the things that need to be done and nothing more.
Let’s look at five troubling signs your partner is becoming distant in your relationship.
5 Signs Your Partner Is Becoming Distant In Your Relationship
There are ways to develop intimacy with your partner that aren’t sexual. But it’s difficult to have any intimacy at all when your partner is distant in your relationship.
You and your partner have created a bond based on trust, happiness, shared experiences, common thoughts and experiences, and a deep loving care for each other. Now things have clearly changed. What once brought you joy now brings you anxiety.
1. You’re experiencing less intimacy.
Basically, the fact that your partner is becoming distant is resulting in a lack of trust, which means less intimacy. Trust is necessary for a couple to have intimacy because you are making yourself vulnerable to your partner during the act of being intimate.
If you feel unsafe with your partner, you do not wan to open yourself physically to them. If there is a lack of physical intimacy, dysfunction, or other intimacy issues, seek the help of a licensed therapist or counselor to help you reconnect intimately with your partner.
There has probably been very little cuddling, touching, massaging, hand-holding, kissing, giggling, or other sharing of closeness in your relationship. This lack of touch and sharing is definitely a sign your partner is becoming distant in your relationship.
2. You don’t know what’s going on
The lack of communication between you is disturbing. You and your partner used to share everything about your day. If you saw someone or talked to them, you would tell your partner and they would do the same for you. Now, the lack of life details that you know about when your partner is away from you is scary.
You used to feel like your partner was your best friend. Now you wish you could talk to someone who understood how you feel about having a distant partner.
3. You are no longer the priority in a distant relationship
Something, or someone, else has taken your place at the top spot on your partner’s priority list that was reserved only for you. What used to be your partner’s favorite pastime (snuggling with you) has now been replaced by an activity that you are excluded from. Ouch.
This one hurts so much that it’s hard to admit that it’s happened to you. When your partner isn’t able to open up to you, they WILL find an outlet for their emotions.
Emotional cheating is real, and even if your partner is not telling you what’s going on, they may have found a sympathetic ear to confide in. Your alarm bells should definitely be going off.
4. Your partner no longer wants to have fun with you
Again, your partner left you out of the fun that they are having with someone else, somewhere else. Did you really choose not to participate, or did your partner wildly hint that you really ought not to come this time and made up a good-sounding reason’ This could be another painful reality check too.
5. You may not be included in your partner’s future plans in a distant relationship
You definitely should be being included in the future plans that your partner is making. If you have been left out of vacation plans for a weekend away with friends once in a while, that’s one thing, but being excluded from plans with their family members is a troubling sign. After all, you’re a member of the family when you’re in a committed partnership.
Another bad sign would be being excluded from plans with a ‘friend’ who could be someone that your partner is emotionally, or physically, cheating with. If any of these other signs is clear to you then your partner may be planning a future where they are physically distant from you as well as being emotionally distant.
Final Thoughts on an Emotionally Distant Partner
It is possible that your partner is a person who needs quite a lot of independent space. Perhaps they are emotionally distant by nature of their personality, not because they have a need to hide feelings from you as they withdraw from the relationship.
Attachment theory in psychology describes a way that people develop secure or insecure relationships with others. Withdrawing from the partnership is a sign that your partner is detaching from the secure partnership.
One other possibility exists for your partner being emotionally distant; it could be all in your head. Researchers say that ‘those who have an avoidant [personality] style typically develop models of themselves as being suspicious, aloof, and skeptical and of significant others as being basically unreliable or overly eager to commit themselves to relationships.’ It’s time for a serious talk with your partner to find out if you are just insecure or if your partner is becoming emotionally distant in your relationship.