5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before A Relationship

5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before A Relationship

relationshipLifestyle

There is a famous Greek mythological story about the perception of love in a relationship. The myth of Pygmalion and Galatea has been brought down through centuries as a love story. Pygmalion was a gifted Greek artist who created beautiful sculptures. Pygmalion was disappointed with the women he met, especially the prostitutes. He was so disgusted by their reactions and behaviors that he decided to create the perfect woman, thus the sculpture of Galatea made out of ivory stone.

Pygmalion spent countless hours making her into his ideal woman, chiseling carefully the curves and creating a beautiful body while speaking to it. He would dress her up. He would tell stories. Then one day, Pygmalion went to Aphrodite’s temple and begged for the love of this woman. Aphrodite took pity on the artist and made the statue come to life, and shortly thereafter, Galatea and Pygmalion married.

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This story has several metaphoric clues to relationships. There might be signs that we are trying to manipulate our desires into creating the perfect love carved in stone.

Here are 5 questions to ask yourself before you begin a relationship:

relationship myths

1. Are we trying to create flawless love in our partners?

Relationships are not perfect. Oftentimes, our counterparts mirror our imperfections. It’s in those enhancing moments that we try desperately to chip away the characteristics that we don’t want. In all the negative light, we become lunatics trying to create something that we cannot change. We are human beings. Sometimes we enter into relationships blindly with an irrational belief that “this is the perfect person.” Later on, the blinders come off and what was once lust is no longer part of the love equation.

2. Are we holding on to a myth?

Society has implanted an idea of “perfect fairytale love.” From the time we are children we watch and listen to romantic fairy tales. It’s difficult to see what’s an illusion and what’s actually real. Love is NOT carved in ivory stone. It’s not perfect. It requires work. It expects nothing more (or less) than patience and acceptance. You create that which you are. In order to attract the desired partner, you have to consider your own imperfections.  You have to be willing to look at the dark and the light in yourself.

3. What happened to love at first sight?

We are creatures of determining beauty by first glance. Hormones flare and exude our animal instincts. But, does this hold on forever? Beauty is not just in the eyes of the beholder. Beauty resides deeply in the heart. Just like Pygmalion, many of us spend countless hours searching for the ideal mate that we have created since childhood. We have formed a “type,” and when that type enters the room, we are left drooling for attention. How often do we actually get the type that is in our heads?  Age takes care of making sure we return to reality.  Outside beauty doesn’t last forever.

4. Can we survive relationships through what is called the Galatea and Pygmalion effects?

The Galatea effect is a psychological theory that states that people can overcome anything by raising their self-worth. The Pygmalion effect is a phenomenon relating to motivation: people can conquer anything when they are supported and encouraged. In relationships can we be Galatea and Pygmalion?

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One person has to be the motivator and the other the doer. There has to be a balance of giving and taking. Unfortunately in our society, we forget the partnership theory in relationships. It starts with clear intentions of how we will support, love, and respect our mate. Life wears us down and we no longer motivate the other. Galatea and Pygmalion are perfect examples of belief and ultimate love through perseverance.

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