For one reason or another, some relationships last a lifetime while others come to an end after only a few months. People come into our lives to teach us something about ourselves, or for us to show them. After you have learned everything you can from one another, you may naturally go your separate ways and continue to experience life by meeting others who can help illuminate your unique path.

When you first let go of someone you love, you may feel like your world is crashing down around you. But, it may mean that the universe is clearing room for more positive people to come into your life.  You may be being redirected to people and experiences that will best serve the evolution of your consciousness. Releasing toxic or otherwise stagnant relationships can be painful, but you can get through it a little easier by doing these three things:

Here are three positive ways to release relationships that no longer serve you:


1. Continue to love the person anyway.

In our pure form, we embody unconditional love…which means we have the ability to love people no matter what they do or say to us. This can be difficult to remember in this earthly realm, but when we arrived on this planet, we had no concept of hate or attachment to people or ideas. As we grow up, we become conditioned to hateful, negative programming, which we carry around with us in our physical and emotional bodies. This deep pain we feel becomes magnified when people hurt us or when we have to cut ties with someone.

To counter this negative energy, simply choose love over hate. Wish the person well, even if you never plan on talking to him or her again. If you send negative energy to them, you are just causing yourself more pain in the end.

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

End your own suffering by remembering that just because you and the person no longer talk, doesn’t mean you can’t still love them and want the best for them. Remember, love operates at a much higher frequency than hate, so you will be doing yourself a huge favor by letting go of past pain.

2. Lovingly release attachment.

This is easier said than done, in most cases, but it builds on the last point about choosing love in all circumstances. If you feel attached to this person, you believe you cannot live without them and have placed all your happiness into your relationship with them. Love and attachment do not have to exist together – true love means that you and the person recognize your intense bond and don’t need a relationship to validate that. Love transcends all physical boundaries; it makes up every single atom on this planet and exists within all of us at all times.

We let worldly desires cloud the fact that we ARE love, and we don’t need anything outside ourselves to make us whole. Of course, relationships can teach us valuable things about ourselves and help us grow; it only becomes a problem when we become fearful of losing the person, or feel like we can’t function without them in our lives. Also, attachment derives from expectations. If you have no expectations from the relationship, you will accept whatever happens and be able to adapt much more quickly. Keep in mind that love in its purest form doesn’t expect anything, because it doesn’t rely on another person’s actions for its survival – it simply IS.

You will always have a piece of the person with you in your heart, whether they are physically there with you or not. It might take time to move on, but you must let go if you want the universe to open new doors along your path.

“Many people still confuse ‘attachment’ with ‘love.’ Attachments are about fear and dependency, and have more to do with love of self than love of another. Love without attachment is the purest love because it isn’t about what others can give you, because you’re empty. It’s about what you can give others—because you’re already full.” – Yasmin Mogahed

3. See the opportunity to improve your connection with yourself.

Too often, relationships tend to drain our energy and take the focus off what makes us happy and why we love ourselves. An all-consuming relationship usually leaves you feeling empty and loathing of yourself because you have forgotten to nurture your inner child. Take the time to cleanse yourself, pamper yourself, and figure out what truly makes you come to life. Tell yourself you’re beautiful, exercise often, eat wholesome foods, meditate, and hang out with people who motivate you to grow in a positive direction. Instead of blaming and hating yourself for a breakup or a friendship that went sour, remind yourself how this ending helped you discover new beginnings.

Every negative experience happens in order for us to take the lesson, apply it, and transmute it into something positive so we can get ever closer to the reflection of love that we all are.