No one’s relationship is 100% perfect, just like no single individual is 100% perfect.
There is always room for improvement. People often don’t realize just how much they neglected their relationship or how little they prioritized it until they lose it. After the breakup mourning period, people tend to get themselves together and put in the effort to make themselves as appealing as possible.
But, when we get into a relationship, we tend to slack off and settle into a routine. We take our partner for granted and accept as a given that they will always be there.
So, how can we step up and secure our relationship into the break-up/divorce proof box?
Here are 10 ways to step up and protect your relationship:
1. Be Thoughtful
Be kind and considerate of the other person’s needs, desires and feelings. Be thoughtful in remembering things like anniversaries and birthdays. Be aware of your partner’s mood and whether or not they had a bad day. Then, do something to cheer them up or take their mind off of stressful things.
2. Be A Cheerleader
Rather than criticize and tear down your partner, build them up and encourage them to take risks. Be their number one cheerleader. No one likes to have an idea shot down or be told they can’t do something. Tell them they can accomplish their goals and encourage them to pursue their goals in the first place.
3. Get A Sense Of Humor
Stop taking yourself so seriously. If you do or say something stupid, then instead of getting upset and embarrassed, laugh it off and make a joke about it. If you or your partner are having a bad day, then go do something fun and goofy. Make each other laugh. Laughter is, after all, the best medicine.
4. Take Care Of Your Body
If you were single, you would want to look and feel your best. So, why is it people feel they can slack off when they land a mate? If you want to keep your partner interested and feel good about yourself, then hit the gym, go walk around the park or get involved in a sport. Eating good food, exercising and get a getting a good night’s sleep can do wonders for your attitude and your relationship.
5. Do Something Spontaneous
We all have routines, and routine can be the death of fun. Break out of your rut from time to time and do something different. Shake things up. Put that excitement back in your life of occasionally not knowing what you will be doing from night to night.
6. Listen To Your Partner
Pay attention to your partner when they are speaking. Get off of Facebook, quit texting your buddy, pause the show you were watching and listen when your partner speaks. No one wants to feel ignored. If you zone out or check out while they are speaking to you, then they are going to get hurt and eventually they are going to stop trying to speak to you at all.
Unplug from the internet and plug into your partner form time to time.
7. Make Your Partner A Priority
If you neglect your relationship, it is going to decay, and before you know it, it will be gone. Make your relationship a priority. Your partner has dibs on your time, so if your partner wants to spend time with you and you want to go do something else, then your partner should win out.
We all need our alone time or time with friends, but if you are prioritizing time alone or with someone besides your partner, then they will start looking for someone who will set them as a priority.
8. Embrace Flexibility
Don’t get attached to a routine or schedule. Be ready to do something spontaneous or change your plans. Improvise, adapt and overcome. Being flexible reduces stress as you are ready to change directions at a moment’s notice. Less stress for you means less stress for your relationship.
9. Take Responsibility
Take responsibility, not only for your actions, but also for your own baggage. We all have it and we all drag it around with us. Take action to address it with your partner and hopefully they will address and take responsibility for their own. Once that is out of the way, then take responsibility for the health of your relationship.
If it fails, it is at least half your fault. If it is to succeed, then it is also half of your responsibility to get it there.
10. Put The Work In
You know what you have to do, but that isn’t enough. You have to put in the work in order to make your relationship better. You have to get up off your butt and make it happen. Life doesn’t happen to you. You are responsible for making things happen in your life. If you don’t put in the work, then you won’t get the rewarding life you want.