We spend so much time building relationships with others that we often forget the most important relationship is the one we build with ourselves. Putting other’s needs before our own is setting a precedent that chips away at the core of who we are. It represents the epitome of the human capability to love unconditionally.
Moreover, we do it not realizing that loving ourselves for who we are is the best present we can give to those people that matter most to us. With that in mind…
Here are 10 things to accept before you can love unconditionally.
1. You can’t say yes to everyone and “no” is a necessity
We want to say yes because we want to make others happy. The reality is when we say yes to others we are often saying no to us and we are the last person we should be saying no to. In fact, we are the only ones we are obligated to say yes to. We must set firm boundaries and know that doing what is right for us is what allows us to do for others.
2. Creating a fictitious life just to please other people does not honor your authentic self.
Making up stories about ourselves to be looked upon favorably is wrong on so many levels. First, we are not honoring our true self and what’s more, we say our true self isn’t worthy. Secondly, we are building relationships on a lie that will eventually crumble. And finally, when we feel the need to make ourselves look better in someone else’s eyes, it should be obvious we are hanging out with the wrong people.
3. You need to stop agreeing with everything everyone says because you are afraid of losing relationships.
Our relationships should be built on more than the fact that we agree with everything the other person says. Be brave and voice opinions, honestly and with respect. Open the dialog to great discussion and our relationship with the other person and ourselves will grow.
4. Taking care of yourself is a priority and better equips you to serve others.
We so often put our needs behind those of our family and friends, and because we do, we often have nothing left to give ourselves. Yet, when we dedicate time towards self-care, what we give to others is plentiful and more valuable.
5. There is no guilt when making decisions that are right for you even if they are wrong for someone else.
The decisions we make for ourselves won’t always be the right decisions for others and that is okay. We don’t need to justify it or feel guilty because of it. We just need to be intentional and thoughtful while making and discussing the decision with others. Stay true to what you need.
6. You have the courage to speak up for yourself because you realize no one else will.
When there is an elephant in the room it doesn’t do any good to ignore it. And ignoring it won’t make it any less pleasant. If we aren’t able to stand up for ourselves and our needs, then they will often go ignored. We owe it to ourselves and the people around us to be heard and honored.
7. You need to stop keeping your pain to yourself and denying those that love you an opportunity to support you.
Being vulnerable to those people around us that we know support us deepens relationships, provides support and encourages us to move forward through difficult times. Asking for what we need in challenging times is one of the best things we can do to heal.
8. There is no need to drastically alter your behaviors to get attention because the best kind of attention comes from merit.
We are attention-seeking human beings and as such we may do drastic things to get it. We may not even realize we are seeking it, but if we are doing things out of character in order to fit in, then we should stop. The best kind of attention comes from living in our truth and serving others and we do that by loving ourselves unconditionally.
9. To love unconditionally, make sure you are living the example instead of trying to make everyone else happy.
As much as we want the people around us to be happy and live their best life, the only person we can change is ourselves. It is much more important to be the example other people can look to, then to try and inflict our way of life on another person. We shouldn’t allow others to do it to us and we shouldn’t’ allow us to do it to others.
10. The depth of your relationships with others and yourself comes from nurturing and shared values.
We must be clear on the things that are important to us, the things that make our heart sing. When we accept those things for ourselves and surround ourselves with people who are like-minded we are free to love, not only ourselves but our life and the beauty that surrounds it.
We show love unconditionally to ourselves, first. That sounds like an easy task, but we often get led astray. Stay true to what matters most, listen to your inner guide and trust what it is telling you. Do that and you’ll be honoring and loving yourself unconditionally.