Not long after you meet a person who you have great chemistry with, and have even gotten intimate, you start wondering whether this is true love or just lust. Well, for the most part, love is something that develops over time. The journey from the initial spark that attracted you to them to a deeply romantic sensation is a long one and is dictated by many factors. It is also important to be aware that how women show true love is slightly different from how men show true love. Nevertheless, the premise still stands; love is an intense sensation of affection towards another individual. It is an attraction that is profound, caring, and leads to emotional attachment.
Lust, on the other hand, is a strong physical desire to be intimate with another person purely because of physical attraction. Yet, under the right conditions, lust can develop into real love. This happens when the individuals involved are both willing to get past the fantasy level and see each other for who they really are – their strengths and weaknesses. Nonetheless, at the early stages of a relationship, it is easy to confuse the two. As such, let us begin by looking at what lust is.
Lust is the initial stage of falling in love and is driven by desire. Our sex hormones play a major role here and this stage could lust up to two years. Here are some of the telltale signs of being in lust:
Your primary attraction towards the object of your desire is based on their physical appearance.
An unending desire to have sex with them.
You do not engage in emotional conversations.
You are not friends.
If the above holds true for you, it is okay and normal. However, you should be looking at how to find true love. Here is what you should know about love.
Love is more than just a feeling. This implies that it is hard to quantify or describe it. You know that you are experiencing true love when you feel positive about the other person. Therefore, you might not necessarily be head-over-heels in love with them, but you wish them well, feel good when with them, and want to be with them.
Another critical aspect of real love is that it continues even after they have hurt you deeply. This is because you are still committed to them in spite of their shortcomings.
In light of that, here are the top 10 ways of knowing it’s true love and not lust:
1. You are Connected Emotionally
Even though being physically attracted to someone is an integral part of love, if you aren’t attracted to other attributes apart from that, then it is not real love.
2. You Feel Understood
They listen to you moan about your day or problems and are fully engaged to you as you talk. They understand your perspective, offer theirs, and help you come up with a solution. And even when they can’t solve the problem, they make you feel understood.
3. They Want to Hang Out Even When It Does Not Lead to Sex
They are okay watching Netflix with you and cuddle on the couch. You are there with them and that’s all that matters.
4. You Can About Your Past Without Feeling Judged
Sharing our pasts is difficult for most of us. But if you are able to share the most embarrassing of details with them without eliciting a negative reaction or vibe from them, then you know they are deeply into you.
5. Even on The Bad Days
Not every day will be full of sunshine and roses. And if they do not bail on you on such days or you on them for that matter, you will know you have something strong.
6. You Both Use ‘We’
People who are deeply in love tend to include each other in their future plans. ‘We’ becomes more prevalent than ‘I’ since you are committed to building and spending your lives with each other.
7. Meeting Friends and Family
You want to introduce them to your loved ones, and they want to do the same as well. It is only natural.
8. You Do Not Mind Their Quirks
The fact that they have specific underwear for Wednesdays does not bother you. In fact, you find it amusing.
This is an unquantifiable attribute that needs to be there. If you need to ask what it is, then you are not in love. Butterflies in the stomach are a real thing.
10. You Want to Become a Better Person
You find yourself going out of your way to do positive things for other people. It is because they make you feel good and you want to pass on the positive vibes.
Love is a word that is thrown around a lot. However, not many people get to experience true love in its pure nature. Just because you like someone and enjoy their company does not mean you love them. However, with enough time and after knowing them at a deeper level, you may find yourself in love. The same thing holds for lust. Nevertheless, it is imperative that you are able to differentiate between the two to avoid wasting each other’s time. Most importantly, you should know how to find true love so that you know it when you see it, or feel it; love is indescribable, but it is beautiful.