You’ve probably heard about toxic relationships, but do you know how dangerous it is to be in this situation? These relationships involve toxicity–behaviors from one or both parties that are damaging or harmful to one another. When you’re together, you seem to push each other’s buttons, creating toxic love.
In some relationships, one person might feel scared or even frightened of their partner. Of course, that situation takes things to a whole other level regarding toxicity. If you’ve ever asked yourself if you’re toxic or if your relationship is full of negativity, it’s time to find out.
Twenty Red Flags of Toxic Love
You want the perfect relationship. But just because you find the person you consider your soul mate, it doesn’t mean everything will be smooth sailing. One or both of you may have some toxic traits that can impact the relationship. Here are some warning signs to look for in your connection.
1. Jealousy Reveals Toxic Love
It’s natural to have a little jealousy when you’re in love. However, if jealousy makes one of you control the other or see red, it’s a sign of toxicity. The jealous person will put you down, try to make you feel unworthy, and do everything in their power to control you. The truth is they have low self-esteem and are afraid of losing you.
2. Blame Games Are Part of Toxicity
Loving relationships are supportive and understanding. However, toxic ones are full of negativity and blame games. The poisonous partner will blame you for everything, which could be over the smallest of matters, as nothing is ever their fault.
3. Constant Stress
When you live with chronic negativity, it makes you feel on edge. You’ll experience constant stress, and it can affect both your mental and physical well-being. You don’t get the comfort of being yourself, as you feel you must put on a show to be who they expect you to be.
4. Hostile Communication Comes From Toxic Love
Toxic love leads to hostile communication. When you speak to one another, there’s name-calling, sarcasm, and criticism. You may get to the point where you do nothing but yell at one another. As a result, you avoid each other to keep these interactions from occurring.
5. Psychological Harm
Living with heated arguments, being demeaned by your partner, constant lying, and manipulation takes a toll on your psychological health. When people refer to carrying baggage from previous relationships, it’s because of situations of toxic love.
6. Toxic Love and a Lack of Trust
Loving relationships are formed with a foundation built on trust. Sadly, when this foundational building block is missing, many parts of your union will suffer. If you don’t trust one another, how can you go on?
Elisabetta Franzoso is a life and wellness coach in London. She’s passionate about relationship rebuilding. She states that the lack of trust must be recognized, addressed, and managed. You can rebuild from this issue, but some of the other problems listed here are not as easy to fix things and reconstruct.
7. Feeling Unworthy Reveals Toxicity in a Relationship
The toxicity of troubled relationships is that often one party feels unworthy. You don’t try to find someone better because you believe you can’t. You blame yourself for all the things that go wrong in your toxic love, and you accept the verbal and physical abuse as you feel you’re deserving.
8. Resentments And Frustrations
Even loving relationships come with their share of troubles, but the negativity and not addressing these concerns make it toxic. Some people hold grudges against one another, while others use passive-aggressive methods to let you know they’re upset. Toxic love makes you miserable.
9. Unrelenting Problems
There’s no perfect relationship as there’s always going to be trouble. Loving relationships work on the issues and confront them rather than pushing them under the carpet. The real issue is that one person is ready, willing, and able to work on the problems, but the other has no interest in fixing the toxicities.
10. Loneliness Reveal a Toxic Love Relationship
You can be in a committed relationship surrounded by people and still feel all alone. The loneliness you feel comes from the lack of intimacy between you and your partner. Associations must have a personal and intimate connection, or it won’t work.
11. You Walk on Egg Shells
When you’re with your partner, you feel uneasy and on edge. You want to avoid an argument or altercation, so you tiptoe around them. You’re very pleasing so that you don’t set them off, which is a clear example of toxic love.
12. Controlling and Manipulative Behavior
There’s much toxicity in someone who tries to control and manipulate their partner. This person acts like you’re a puppet on a string and keeps you on a tight leash. Some toxic love situations go as far as telling you how to dress and act.
13. Toxicity Often Leads to Feelings of Uncertainty
When you’re in a situation filled with toxicity, it’s only natural to be concerned about the future. You don’t know what tomorrow will bring or where you will be. You may even question if you’ll be alive in a situation filled with negativity and abuse. It’s a very uncomfortable position for you to be in.
A disrespectful partner does not put you first in anything. They’re out for themselves and only think of their own needs. It’s sad because you risk your self-respect for a person that does nothing but bring toxicities to your life.
15. Toxic Love Reveals Itself in a Lack of Support
In loving relationships, your support and encouragement for one another keep things going. When the negativity surrounds you that a toxic relationship brings, you don’t get help from one another. You may not try for that new position or to reach your goals because there’s no positive reinforcement.
16. Things Aren’t 50/50 With Toxicity in the Relationship
It will help if you put a lot of effort into making a relationship work. The idea is that each person puts in 50 percent of the effort to equal 100 percent happiness. The problem is that the toxic person doesn’t want to give anything and expects you to do everything to keep your relationship going. Loving relationships don’t work this way, and it’s about give and take.
17. Physical Abuse
Toxic love has its share of problems, but perhaps one of the biggest downfalls is physical abuse. No one should ever put their hands on you except in love. Whether pushing, shoving, grabbing you hard, or doing anything to cause physical pain doesn’t matter. It’s putting toxicity into your relationship, and these are wounds that are on the outside as well as the inside.
Ironically, people believe that men are always abusers of women. However, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence statistics show that 1 in 25 men are victims of domestic violence situations. Though the prevalence of women is higher at 1 in 4 people, it’s time to highlight female-to-male domestic violence problems.
18. You Give Up Your Life to Please Your Partner
Many people put their hopes and dreams on hold to keep things together with their relationship. While letting some things slide for true love is okay, the negativity that comes with these toxic situations is not worth the effort.
You might put off a trip with your friends because you know it could lead to a week of not speaking or another form of retaliation. Toxicity is often the basis for people trying to keep others happy to avoid such retaliation.
Has your partner ever manipulated you to the point where you doubted your sanity? Gaslighting is a prevalent issue that’s come to the forefront. They want to blame you or spin things so that you will doubt yourself. They will do anything to take the focus off their actions.
20. Constant Criticism
Nothing you do is good enough for your partner. They expect you to live by a strict set of rules to keep them happy, but even when you do your best, it’s not enough. They may criticize how you dress, your makeup, hair, attitude, cooking, and anything else about you to get under your skin. Loving relationships aren’t like this; you don’t have to stay in such a horrible situation.
Final Thoughts on Toxic Love
You will find plenty of fish in the sea, and you don’t have to stay with a toxic partner. If you ever go fishing, you must be careful if you get your hook in some species of fish, as they’re dangerous. The catfish is one of them. While the catfish is often used in southern cooking, there’s a specific way you must get it off the hook to avoid injury. The barbels of catfish are dangerous and can cause serious tissue necrosis. Thus, many people will cut them free rather than risk being stung.
The dating pool is much the same as a day on the lake. You must be careful about who you bring into your life. While they may appear to be a good catch, the end can be catastrophic. Toxic love can damage you, so it’s best to walk away sooner rather than later.