Can you pick up on the subtle lies of a cheater? If you’ve been cheated on before, you know it’s easy to pick up on the patterns typical of liars. However, if you’ve never walked down this devastating path in the past, you will need to learn a few things to protect yourself.
There’s nothing worse than a lying partner, as one of the foundations of your relationship is trust. While they may get a few untruths over on you initially, soon, you will catch on to their patterns of deception. Telling lies comes easy to some, but others aren’t very good at it.
The manipulative partner, or the one with narcissistic personality disorder, is the most dangerous cheater. They use people for their gain, and they know how to tell subtle lies and turn things around so that you think you’re the one to blame. These selfish folks are the ones that cause the most damage to your heart, as they can walk away without giving you a second thought.
Use Your Intuition to Tune into Subtle Lies
The first indication that someone is being dishonest is your intimacy. Partners who are getting their romantic needs met by someone else won’t need anything from you. Now, this is the standard case. However, there’s always the person that feels charged or energized by being with someone else.
In this instance, they may desire to do different acts and experiment with things unusual in your lovemaking. When things change in the bedroom, look for the clues of them being dishonest. Many things can sway the libido one way or another, but you know when something doesn’t feel right about the changes.
It’s effortless if you’ve been around someone for many years, then you know what’s typical and what’s abnormal.
Never Underestimate the Power of Body Language
Another significant sign that something is off is body language. If your partner is cheating, their body language will give you some indications. For instance, if you question them about their whereabouts, they will avoid eye contact.
They may look at the ground, look to the corner, or have beads of sweat that appear on their forehead. There’s a psychological reason that you see these displays. When a person lies, they become nervous and uncomfortable. According to the Economic Times-News, the autonomic nervous system kicks into overdrive.
You may also notice that they blink an abnormal amount. Blinking is used when a person can’t avoid eye contact, but this little trick allows them to break it. However, the toxic or narcissistic partner will find that deceit isn’t challenging to do looking at you face-to-face. These folks can tell subtle lies with a steady gaze that won’t make you doubt their word, making them even more dangerous.
The Subtle Like Don’t Quite Make Sense
Sometimes lies don’t make good, common sense. For instance, your partner is suddenly taking a business trip when they haven’t had such an occasion in their 20 years with this company. While it could happen, the chances of their roles changing like this are slim without a step up the corporate ladder.
The subtle lies about a business trip are the ones that are most often used. However, other classic lines are often fed to cover the cheater’s tracks. You must pay close attention to their stories. Do they have every detail covered and give you specifics like names, dates, places, and other well-thought-out information?
It’s possible they already have someone lined up for you to call and verify their story. When people lie to cover their cheating, they have a backup person who will account for their whereabouts. This person knows all about the affair and is covering their tracks.
While a weird change in work hours is one ruse, another is money comes up missing. Have you noticed any charges on your credit cards for dinners and gift shops that you know you didn’t make? If you ask them about such tasks, they will come up with every excuse under the sun.
They will say things like they needed to buy flowers for someone retiring at work, or they had something needed for their parents or another family member. The subtle lies become outlandish after time, as they know they’re close to getting caught. You must always be one step ahead of the cheater, and don’t be afraid to question and verify their stories.
Sometimes, a spouse must take on the role of a detective to protect themselves, but it’s worth being a super sleuth to watch your heart. Never lie to yourself and deny what’s going on, as this only prolongs your pain.
Your Relationship Has Changed
Another way to pick up on the subtle lies is by observing how much your relationship has changed. Now, granted, those people had no clue they were being cheated on and thought everything was going fantastic. However, most folks have some sort of inclination that things aren’t right.
Does your partner seem to be vague and not have time to talk anymore? Do they avoid direct questions about how their day was and the occurrences in their life? They may snap at you when you ask them a simple question, and it’s all because of their guilt.
They may give some ridiculous lie as to why they aren’t communicating like they usually do, but it’s not uncommon for them to turn things around onto you. A cheater will make this all your fault, as this is a way that they justify things in their mind. See, if they can find a reason to blame you, then it makes their infidelities seem less wrong or justified.
Protecting Yourself From the Cheater
Now, you believe that your partner is cheating, and you must protect yourself. First, realize that you are worth way more than allowing someone to cheat on you, even if you’ve been married for decades. Things might have been great in the beginning, but many couples see infidelity as the last straw.
According to a Gallup Poll, 91 percent of the population believed it was wrong to cheat on your partner in 2001. However, in 2021, only 38 percent of folks think affairs are bad. So, it seems that stepping outside of the marriage is becoming more commonplace, but some still see it as the last straw.
Tips to Protect Yourself from the Subtle Lies Told By a Cheating Partner
You need to decide if it’s something you can work through or if this is an end to what you’ve had with them. It’s up to you. But remember, some cheaters will do it again. Here are a few tips to protect yourself.
- Never beg or nag for time and attention. You can find someone who will give you all the things that your partner no longer does.
- You’ll be angry, but don’t let that anger consume you. You must deal with the issue with a clear mind and a level head.
- Even if there are problems in your relationship, the affair is not your fault. Your spouse had an affair due to their selfishness, and nothing you’ve done warrants such actions.
- Your spouse isn’t just lying to you; they’re walking around telling lies to everybody, as they must cover their tracks. So, evaluate every word that comes out of their mouth, and believe nothing they say without proof.
- Get counseling as soon as you can to help sort out your thoughts. Sometimes it’s constructive to have a third-party, neutral person listen and give advice.
Final Thoughts on Detecting the Subtle Lies of a Cheater
Being cheated on is one of the most terrible feelings, as it takes your esteem to a lower level. You may question all the things wrong with you that caused your spouse to look outside your marriage. You should know that there are many reasons why people cheat, but most of them have nothing to do with you.
The most common reasons people cheat are because they feel empty inside, stress, loneliness, lack of communication and bond, lack of passion, and being done with a relationship. It would be best if you told yourself that you don’t deserve such treatment, and any honest person would tell you how they felt rather than going behind your back.
There are many relationships where people have more than one partner. While that might not be for you, it’s a way that some people make things work. The key is to recognize the subtle lies and do your due diligence to check out their well-concocted stories. You don’t deserve to be lied to, let alone be cheated on.
Just like detectives, you learn to notice the cues of those who lie. It’s the sweat on the brow and the shifting eyes that can’t focus on you. Though, you soon put together the puzzle pieces and figure out what’s going on. After you know the truth, whether you stay or go is up to you.