New love is a beautiful feeling, but are you settling for less than what you deserve in life? A balance of inequality can cause some severe issues in any relationship. So many times, people settle when they feel lonely or desperate, and the truth is they could have so much more.
While you don’t want to set your standards so low that you attract just anyone, you need to have some requirements for whom you will date. It may not cause any issues initially, but it will undoubtedly be a factor as the relationship continues. Everyone has dating preferences, but do your tastes align with what’s best for you?
Let’s assume you always get a ham and cheese sandwich at the deli. Now, how do you know that you don’t like the pastrami on rye unless you try it at least once? The same can happen in the dating pool. While you want a specific type of person, you don’t honestly know what you like until you play the field.
Ten Indications Your Dating Standards Are Too Low
Finding a good relationship means discovering what you like and empowering yourself. When considering lifestyle choices and long-term goals, you don’t want to set your standard too high. However, if you set your bar too low, you can buy yourself a great deal of trouble you don’t need. Here are some signs that it’s time to raise your dating standard.
1. When You Lower Your Standards, You Get Bored
Once you’ve been together for many years, you can expect things to get boring. You must constantly reinvent the relationship and your life after the newness has worn off. The problem is that you shouldn’t be bored early on.
You may be the extrovert who loves to be the life of the party. However, if you’re with an introvert who loves to stay at home, it may not work. One of you must at least be willing to compromise a bit for the other person’s happiness.
If no one is willing to compromise and everyone is doing their own thing, it’s easy to see how things could become tiresome.
2. Raise Your Standards if Your Partner Does Not Treat You Well
Does your partner make rude comments to you? Do they use unconstructive criticism to tear you down? Do you walk on eggshells because you always feel like you’re never good enough for them?
Perhaps you have low standards when finding someone to have a relationship with. Remember that you can do better, but it’s important not to let feelings of desperation come into the mix. The only thing worse than being alone is being with someone who isn’t right for you. Toxic relationships not only affect the here and now but also the future.
3. There’s No Emotional Connection
Are you one of those people who only looks at things like income, job, physical characteristics, and the material possessions your partner owns? It’s easy to be influenced by money and power, but just because a person has these things doesn’t mean they’re good relationship material.
A person who looks like the perfect package on the outside may be horrible in a relationship. Your standards may need to be adjusted to ensure that you find someone who fits your needs beyond materialism.
You must look for emotional value and compatibility in a relationship. Look to the inside more than you look on the outside. It would help if you connected on an emotional level for a relationship to have a chance to flourish.
4. Communication Is Awkward When You Don’t Have High Standards
There’s something nice about cuddling beside a fire and discussing life and your dreams. When your partner doesn’t have good communication, it can leave you lacking. They may not like talking on the phone, sending emails, or texting, but how can you have a deep and meaningful relationship if you’re not communicating?
According to Ways Youth and Family Foundation, communication is vital to any relationship. They also state that many times this communication is natural, but it’s something that you both must work on. Do you need to raise your standards because you desire deep communication and long chat sessions?
Could the problem be that your dating preferences keep you from finding the right person for you? Some people will never be good conversationalists, no matter how much you want them to be.
5. Your Needs Are Compromised
Relationships are all about giving and taking. Sadly, you have an inequity problem if you’re doing all the giving. You shouldn’t always be the one to lose, nor should you be the one that’s always doing the compromising.
Sit down, evaluate the situation, and ask yourself what you’re getting from the relationship? Are you truly fulfilled, or do you always seem to come up with the short end of the stick?
6. You Settle in Your Relationships
Nick Notas is a dating consultant in the Boston area. He works with people from all walks of life. One thing he says he’s noticed when it comes to relationships is that everyone seems to be in a hurry. He further states that being with the right partner will bring out all the good things in you while being with the wrong partner will bring out the bad.
He believes society places an unhealthy, unrealistic pressure to settle down on folks. Having standards and wanting what’s best for you is okay. Even if you must be alone for a while, it’s better than being with someone who makes you miserable.
7. There’s a Lack of Respect
Do you not respect your partner? You may have set the bar too low and can’t provide the respect necessary because you don’t value their worth. Assume you have a master’s degree and have dedicated to educating yourself to move up the corporate ladder.
Perhaps your partner didn’t value education and is happy to work an entry-level job. While you got together because the physical chemistry was undeniable, there wasn’t enough substance to keep things once those feelings settled down. Now, it’s clear that you look down on them because you feel like they’re beneath you.
Each person is valuable, but sometimes when you’ve done a lot more in life or made more money than someone else, you determine the value of this person. It’s not fair, but it’s a sign that you’re not on equal playing fields.
8. You’re Seriously Unhappy
If you keep settling for the wrong person, it’s a clear indicator that you need to raise your standards. When you settle for someone all wrong for you, you might miss the person that’s perfect because you’re preoccupied. Additionally, when you’re not with the right person, you can start to resent this individual and be miserable.
Your life is too short to live in misery and regret. No one wants to be unhappy, and there’s no rush regarding heart matters. The best situations often catch you by surprise when you’re not even looking.
9. You Tend to Jump into Relationships Fast
Nothing screams that you have low standards than someone who jumps from relationship to relationship. Do you always need to be connected to someone to feel fulfilled? Perhaps, you have issues from the past like trauma or abuse that cloud your judgment on what’s considered a healthy relationship.
10. There’s No Support
It’s often the case that relationships are unbalanced, as one partner takes on the bulk of the responsibilities. For instance, it can get tiring if you’re grocery shopping, paying the bills, cleaning the house, and making all the appointments.
It seems unfair when your partner only goes to work and comes home to play video games. It would help if you didn’t have to ask your partner to support you, as they should be eager to pitch in and help. Some people are lazy in the relationship, and these individuals will sit back and let you take on the burden and all the responsibilities.
Who cares about your dating preferences if you always end up with someone who expects more than they give? You may need to adjust your standards a bit.
Final Thoughts on Knowing It’s Time to Raise Your Relationship Standards
There’s only one reason to be in a relationship with anyone, and the reason to be committed is that you’re in love. Some people love the idea of being in love and don’t care for the person they’re hooked up with now. If you tend to hop from one relationship to another, it’s a sign that you need to raise your standards a bit.
Don’t be in such a hurry to find the right one, as you’re often just filling your idle time. It’s also okay to play the field, but it typically doesn’t lead to long and meaningful relationships when you play the field and date around.
You owe yourself to find someone who checks all the boxes and is your better half. Until you find that person, you’re settling for someone that isn’t right for you. Settling and having low standards isn’t fair to you or the person you’re with.