20 Important Lessons That You Will Only Understand If You’ve Had Lost Love

20 Important Lessons That You Will Only Understand If You’ve Had Lost Love

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Relationships are complicated, and there are many important lessons to learn when you’re in one. Anyone who has had love and lost it will know many of these life lessons, but everyone can benefit from them. Whether you are in your first partnership or have experience, these crucial lessons can help you.

Romance can teach you quite a bit about yourself if you know what to look for. They also help you learn about respect and staying true to yourself. Knowing these vital lessons will help make the ups and downs of your romantic connection easier to handle.

These life lessons won’t guarantee that your romance will be happier or last longer, but they will help you handle things in a better way. You won’t lose who you are, can remain calm, and set boundaries. Knowing what to expect is beneficial to ensuring both partners can adjust and maintain their independence.

Twenty Important Lessons That You Will Only Understand If You’ve Had Love (and Loss)

These essential lessons can’t ensure your romantic connection will last forever, but they can help keep things healthy. Many of the lessons came after the love ended because they realized they should have done things differently. By implementing these important lessons, you have a chance of achieving a happy and healthy romantic connection.

1. You Must Let Go of Assumptions

When you get your assumptions from your favorite shows or people on social media, you might have false assumptions. People who have had love and lost it know that there is no such thing as a perfect couple. Even couples with the best photos have problems sometimes.

2. It’s Important to Keep Trying New Things Together

Partnerships should be exciting, and you must try new things together. You don’t want to sit at home all the time or keep doing the same activities repeatedly. Plan exciting dates that neither of you has done before so that you can create memories and get to know each other.

3. Don’t Ignore Your Deal Breakers

When there are things that you can’t compromise on, make sure you stick to them. Please don’t ignore the dealbreakers because you like someone because it won’t help you have a healthy romantic connection. You don’t have to waiver on these things because there is someone out there that you won’t have to compromise your values for.

4. Watch for Red Flags

Dealbreakers aren’t the only things you have to watch for in a romantic connection. There are many red flags you should be aware of to protect yourself.

Gaslighting and other controlling behaviors like manipulation are signs that something isn’t right. You don’t want a partner who tries to control you, twists facts, or invalidates how you feel. These red flags can lead to more severe behaviors and be hard to get out of if you get in too deep.

5. Your Friends are Still Important

When you start a new romantic connection, it might seem like your new partner is your entire world. However, you must remember that your friends are just as important as your new love. Please make sure you still give your friends attention and respect and don’t cancel on them to spend time with your new partner.

6. You Don’t Have to Text All Day

Many couples spend all day texting each other, but it doesn’t make for a happy or successful romantic connection. Don’t make your entire day about your partner by talking all day. Instead, make sure to focus on the other things going on in your life, too.

When you are at work or with your loved ones, put your phone away. You can talk to your partner later on. It’s also an important lesson to remember that having deep conversations or arguments via text can lead to misunderstandings.

7. It Is Okay to Be Vulnerable

Being vulnerable is beneficial because it promotes honesty and openness. When you’re weak, it allows you to see how you feel and what you want in a romantic connection.

8. You Must Have Real Conversations

When you get into a new relationship, you might want to keep things lighthearted and fun. However, it would help if you had meaningful conversations right from the start. Speak up about things that bother you, and be honest about how you feel.

9. Remember That Everyone Has a Past

This romantic connection might not be the first for you or your partner. Since everyone has a past, you must accept that your partner had feelings for someone else before you. Please don’t compare yourself to the people from their past, and don’t let it interfere.

10. You Can Vent to Others

Venting to your friends or family members about your partner doesn’t have to be harmful. You might think it’ll give them the wrong impression, but they’ve likely been through it before. They can offer helpful insight and remind you that you aren’t alone.

11. It’s Okay to Say “I Love You” First

Knowing that it doesn’t matter who says these three words first is essential. If you feel that it’s the right time to tell them, don’t be afraid to speak up. However, you don’t have to say it if you feel comfortable.

12. You Are Both Individuals

One of the most important lessons to remember is that you don’t belong to one another. You are still two individuals with personal likes, dislikes, hobbies, and relaxation methods. Don’t stop doing the things you love because your partner doesn’t enjoy them.

Likewise, don’t expect your partner to give up things they love or take on things they don’t enjoy. Both of you must maintain your identity and find security in yourself. You don’t want to become codependent and lose who you are.

13. Your Desires Matter

It’s easy to give in and let go of your desires to appease your partner, but you should never do this. If you want to do something, avoid letting your partner influence your decision. The right person for you will support your goals and desires, so don’t sacrifice in this regard.

14. It is Important to Set and Maintain Boundaries

Setting personal boundaries is essential to making you feel comfortable. Make your boundaries clear and enforce them no matter what.

Experimenting and adjusting your boundaries is okay, but only if you want to. Don’t let your partner pressure you into doing things you aren’t comfortable with, and always stand up for yourself.

15. Keep Trusting Yourself

You control your feelings and actions, so trust yourself no matter what. If something doesn’t feel right, listen to your gut and trust how you feel. This fact is one of the most important lessons in life–but one of the hardest to master.

When you trust yourself, you can ensure that you want to be in the partnership. Plus, you’ll know that it’s okay to walk away if you want, too. Don’t put all of your trust in your romantic connection because you should trust yourself first.

16. Don’t Be Afraid of Heartbreak Because It Doesn’t Last Forever

Romantic connections don’t always work out, but you shouldn’t be afraid of heartbreak. Even if you are the partner choosing to end things, you might be scared of the pain.

Remember that heartbreak doesn’t last forever, and you’ll be okay no matter what happens. People grow and change, so it’s sometimes best to move on.

17. This Might Not Be Your Only Relationship in Life

If you are in your first partnership, you might think it’ll last forever. However, some people go through quite a few partners before finding the best one for them. You’ll give lots of time and effort to each partner, but you must know that it might end someday.

Knowing that this might not be your last romantic connection can help you relax and enjoy your time together. If you convince yourself that this is the one that’ll last forever, it can put too much pressure on you.

18. There’s No Reason to Rush Things

It doesn’t matter how many partners you’ve had in the past. There’s never a need to rush. You don’t have to rush into meeting each other’s families or starting a physical connection. Take your time to get to know each other and go on dates that help you bond first.

19. You Must Find Balance

Romance can take over your life, so it is essential to find balance right from the start. Without balance, the end of a romantic connection can be so much worse because you’ve made your life revolve around your partner. Even if you think you’ll be with your partner forever, maintain a balance between your love life, friends, family, hobbies, and self-care.

20. Listen to the Input of Your Loved Ones

If you trust your loved ones, you should listen to their input. While you shouldn’t let them make decisions for you, you should at least hear what they have to say. Your loved ones want what is best for you, and they can see things from another perspective.

Final Thoughts on Important Lessons That You Will Only Understand If You’ve Had Love (and Loss)

These important lessons can help you maintain healthy relationships. People who have had love and lost it learned these lessons hard, but you can implement them into your new connection.

Not only will these important lessons help you maintain a healthy romantic connection, but they can help you if it ends, too. These lessons can help you move on maturely and positively.

Sarah Barkley is a lifestyle blogger and freelance writer with a Bachelor's Degree in Literature from Baker College. She is experienced in all things related to parenting, marriage, and life as a millennial parent, but loves to learn new things. She enjoys the research that goes into a strong article, and no topic is off-limits to Sarah. When she isn't writing, she is immersed in a book or watching Gilmore Girls. Sarah loves reading classic novels but also enjoys a good thriller.

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