When a woman is self-absorbed and cruel to those around her, it might be something more than that. Both of those things are characteristics of a female narcissist. Since the traits of a female narcissist differ from those of males, they are sometimes overlooked.
Female narcissists are thought of as being mean or catty. They tend to gossip, exclude others, and ruin their relationships more than other women. Plus, they can be vindictive and ruthless in the way that they treat others.
We are not picking on the ladies. Instead, think of it as fascinating to understand. Why? Because Psychology Today reports that greater numbers of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are males than females. That makes it interesting to delve into, to better understand the signs.
The main difference between female and male narcissists is the way they use their narcissism, according to research. Females use it to compete with others and gain superiority. Males, on the other hand, use it to charm their way into meeting goals.
In women, narcissism isn’t something they grow out of. Instead, it sometimes develops into aggressive behaviors and the desire to exploit others.
Fifteen Traits of A Female Narcissist
The following traits are ones that you should watch for in women to identify a narcissistic female.
1. A Female Narcissist is Manipulative
A narcissistic female finds enjoyment in being manipulative. She will likely use passive-aggressive behaviors to hurt those around her or to confuse them. When she wants to get her way, she will use tactics like gaslighting and shutting you out until you give in.
She creates a game out of the number of times she gets people to cave to her desires. Plus, she will give endless guilt trips and make people feel like they owe her.
2. She Doesn’t Apologize
If a woman can’t or won’t apologize, she is likely a narcissist. Narcissistic people believe that they are never in the wrong, even when it is clear they are. They feel like it is never up to them to apologize and that the other person should always apologize instead.
Even when she has hurt someone, she will struggle with apologizing. She will justify why she shouldn’t say sorry and convince herself that she is in the right. If she does apologize, she will likely follow it up with an excuse or contradiction.
3. Female Narcissists Blame Other People or Situations
A woman narcissist will blame any problem or setback that occurs on someone or something else. A female narcissist won’t own up to it, even if it was her fault. She will have the mindset that she can’t make mistakes, and if something goes wrong, it must be because of some outside force.
Because she believes she can’t do anything wrong, she will never feel ashamed of her actions. She doesn’t learn from her mistakes, either, since she never owns up to them. This type of woman always thinks someone else is the problem instead.
4. She is Overly Sensitive When She Thinks Someone is Speaking Negatively of Her
A narcissistic female assumes that every comment someone makes is a way of speaking negatively about her. She reads into what people say until she finds a negative way to perceive it. Then, she quickly and overreacts, making the situation much worse than it needed to be.
Sometimes she will even read into compliments this way. If she feels that someone was sarcastic when they said something nice, she will snap at them. She often blows things out of proportion and makes people regret saying anything.
5. She Can’t Empathize with Others
A narcissist can’t understand what other people are going through. They can’t wrap their mind around the situations of others, and they won’t feel bad. Plus, she will use their problems to make herself look superior.
She won’t put herself in someone else’s position and believes that people deserve any negative thing that happens to them. Understanding other people’s points of view is impossible for her, too, because she won’t even try.
When people talk to her about serious things, she shuts down or comes back with a cruel comment. She gives shallow answers and tries to invalidate the feelings of others.
6. They Get Pleasure from the Pain of Others
This type of woman not only can’t empathize with others, but she also finds joy in the misery of others. Since she likes to feel superior, seeing others struggle makes her feel better about herself. She might even say condescending things to people that are having a hard time.
When she is the one that caused the pain, she seems to be her happiest. Making people feel inferior is her specialty, and she even prides herself on it.
7. A Female Narcissist is Unstable
Female narcissists are often mentally unstable and involve themselves in risky behaviors. They often have addictive personalities, struggle with aggression, and become outraged when they feel rejected. You might notice that her moods change drastically and quickly, and she becomes upset without warning.
8. She Emotionally Punishes Her Partner
When she disagrees with her partner, she punishes them emotionally. If her partner has different thoughts or doesn’t want to agree to something, she doesn’t handle it well. She will likely ignore them or disengage until they give in to her opinion or desires.
Along with ignoring their partner and disengaging, she will claim that she is mistreated. She will even give her partner a list of reasons she is treated unjustly and make her partner begin questioning themselves.
Emotional punishment is her way of getting anything she wants. She continues pushing her partner until her partner caves or changes their thought process to match hers.
9. She is Jealous of Other Women
If a woman is often jealous of other women, she might be narcissistic. She will pretend to be confident and even come across that way most of the time, but secretly, she is insecure. You might notice that she makes mean comments about other women often, and she might claim that she doesn’t get along with them.
She will make snide comments to other women and cut them down as often as she can. Plus, she normally finds another woman or two that will gossip and talk down on others with her.
10. She Believes Other Women are Jealous of Her
Not only is she constantly jealous of others, but she believes that everyone is jealous of her, too. She uses the excuse that other women are jealous of her when she explains why she doesn’t have many close friends.
When her friends or other people in her life accomplish things, she gets more jealous than ever. She will find ways to downplay what they have achieved and imply that they didn’t deserve it. Plus, she might make comments about how that person won’t make it farther and that they’ll ruin it all.
11. She Can Go from Love to Hate Quickly
A female narcissist manages to go from loving someone to hating them in a short timeframe. She glorifies those she is close to but turns on them when things go wrong. Once she gets what she wants out of a relationship, she no longer cares about it.
Since relationships are this way for her, she finds joy in ruining the relationships of others. She likes to see people hurting, and she enjoys the satisfaction of being the one that caused it.
12. She Expects Special Treatment
A narcissistic woman feels that she deserves special treatment even when she has done nothing to earn it. She demands that people treat her better than others and do special favors for her. Even still, she wouldn’t consider doing the same for others.
The reason she expects special treatment is because she believes she is more important than others. Her exaggerated sense of self-importance is one of the first things people notice about her. She feels entitled and will often brag about (and exaggerate) her accomplishments while fishing for compliments.
A female narcissist will likely want to talk about herself all of the time, too. She will jump into conversations and somehow make it about her.
13. She is Materialistic
A narcissistic female loves to spend money and buy expensive things. She also loves talking about how much money she spends. Buying the most expensive items is a priority for her, even if it is at the expense of her family’s well-being.
14. She is Obsessed with the Way She Looks
Her outward appearance is more important to her than anything else, and it shows in the way she carries herself. Not only does she require the most expensive clothes, shoes, and accessories, but she is also obsessed with the way she looks.
She will flaunt her best physical qualities and usually won’t leave the house without a full face of makeup. Looking her best is one of the ways she asserts her power over others.
15. She Doesn’t Respect Boundaries
While a female narcissist expects everyone to respect her boundaries, she doesn’t do the same for others. She pushes boundaries to cause conflict and gain attention.
Final Thoughts on Identifying the Toxic Traits of a Female Narcissist
In a nutshell, a female narcissist is exhausting to be around. Her behavior can be draining, and you will always feel stressed and anxious around her. It can impact your self-esteem and overall well-being.
If you have a female narcissist in your life, it is time to consider cutting her out. You owe it to yourself to surround yourself with positive people that love and care about you.