Fairy tales depict relationships full of happiness and joy, but real life shows that these stories are make-believe. Even the best couples have their ups and downs, but what if your entire association is like being on an emotional roller coaster? One day you’re happy and smiling with joy, and the next day you’re crying because they’ve done something to hurt you once again.
Some relationships have unique dynamics that make them even more lethal. If there’s infidelity, physical or verbal violence, or other toxic characteristics, you might feel that this is how things are supposed to be. Sometimes it’s hard to see the beauty of the forest because you’re hidden beneath the trees, and it’s time to evaluate your dynamics truly.
The truth is that you don’t have to live on this toxic train going nowhere, and you don’t have to settle for anything less for your life. Trust your gut instincts, and don’t be naïve. If you’re feeling the urge to leave, listen to your heart.
Twelve Reasons To Leave the Emotional Roller Coaster
Leaving an emotional roller coaster relationship is easier said than done. This is especially true if you have children, financial ties, and other connections that make a clean break impossible. However, it would help if you broke the tie that binds, and here are twelve reasons why you should leave sooner rather than later.
1. Being Alone Is Better Than Being Miserable
Many people won’t leave a toxic situation because they fear being alone. Some folks are afraid that they will be flying solo in this big, scary world if they leave. However, the only thing worse than being single is being with the wrong one, and you deserve so much better than this emotional mess you’re in.
2. They’ll Never Change
Perhaps, one of the reasons why you haven’t left yet is because you keep hoping for change. They’ve promised you the sun, moon, and stars, yet they always fall right back into old patterns. This person, no doubt, has deep-seated issues, and they’re not going to change.
It’s tough for people to change patterns when they’ve been a part of them for so long. In fact, it would be easier to get a river to flow in the opposite direction. Those who change are very strong, but statistically speaking, the patterns are ingrained in their brains and part of them for life.
3. You Don’t Have To Settle for This Emotional Roller Coaster Ride
You must know your value. You are worth so much more than you can ever imagine, and you deserve better than this emotional roller coaster you’re on. Sherry Gaba is a psychotherapist that works with broken marriages.
In one of her recent writings, she spoke about why people settle for less in a spouse. The top reasons are low self-esteem, a denial of reality, shame, and feelings of inadequacy. It would help if you built your confidence to have the strength both mentally and physically to break these strong ties.
4. You’ve Had Enough of the Emotional Roller Coaster Ride
There’s a place called wit’s end, and when you get there, you’re done. You don’t need to put the blame on one another or make it a long-drawn-out battle, but you’ve had enough.
You want off the emotional roller coaster, and you can let someone else take a spin on this catastrophic ride. You’ve reached your limit.
5. You’re Missing Out on the Right One
When you waste your time with the wrong person, you’re missing out on someone who could be the love of your life. If you believe in soul mates, you could miss this chance encounter because you’re preoccupied living in misery. Don’t be like those people who waste the best years or decades of their life being on an emotional roller coaster because they don’t know the amazing person that’s out there waiting for them.
6. Living With Physical or Verbal Threats Is Psychologically Damaging
Many times, relationships that are emotionally all over the place have some toxic element. If there’s any physical or verbal abuse, it can be very psychologically damaging. In fact, many toxic people use these tactics to beat you down so that you don’t think you can do any better.
The truth is you can do much better than this, and cleaning up the emotional baggage from a bad relationship can be a complex process. Never let anyone have such control over you that you’re afraid to stand up for yourself.
You are beautiful, amazing, and have so many gifts and talents to offer the world. The problem is that you can’t accomplish all the things you were meant to do and live your best life when you’re stuck on an emotional merry-go-round.
7. Love Shouldn’t Hurt
There’s a passage of scriptures in the Bible that states what love is all about. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, it says that love is patient, kind, isn’t proud, envious, or boastful. Love is about giving your partner the best parts of yourself.
While love isn’t perfect, it shouldn’t be constant hurt and conflict. If your situation hurts you on an emotional level that’s unrelenting, it’s not the kind of love you need. Another scripture in 1 John 4:18 says that perfect love casts out all fear. This is the type of love you want in your life, not someone who makes you miserable.
8. Counseling Doesn’t Always Work
Counseling is a great way to work through many issues, but a person must actively engage with their counselor for this process to work. First, the person must admit there’s a problem and want help. Second, they need to open up and get to the root issues and work on them.
Some folks aren’t on board because they won’t admit there are issues. If you can’t get your partner to go to counseling, or it didn’t work, you’re right back on the emotional roller coaster where nothing is resolved.
9. You Can Facilitate Healing and Growth by Leaving the Emotional Roller Coaster Behind You
It’s time for you to heal from the past and grow so you can have a bright future. You’re never going to grow if you stay in this stagnate situation.
You deserve so much more than you give yourself credit for, and it’s time you start taking what the Universe has deemed as rightfully yours. Do you really want to live in misery for the rest of your life?
10. You Should Have Fun
Life isn’t 100 percent about sunshine and rainbows, but there should be some bright days. If you spend the bulk of your time cleaning up messes, crying, and living under a pile of emotional upheaval, you’re not living. You need to have fun, friends and enjoy yourself.
11. Crying Shouldn’t Be Part of Everyday Life
Dry your eyes and pick yourself up! If you’re crying more than you’re smiling, then it’s a toxic dynamic. Your emotional state can make you physically sick.
No doubt, depression, anxiety, and constant worry can get you so down you don’t feel like lifting your head from the pillow. However, today is a new day, and it’s time for a new you. The beauty is that once you cut away these toxic ties, you won’t even recognize yourself.
12. Negativity Has Chipped Away at Your Innermost Being
Some folks think that the most horrible thing in a relationship is cheating, but alas, some things are much worse. Did you know that negativity is the cold hand of death to a couple? Constant pessimism can eat away at the roots of your relationship, causing unrepairable decay.
Negativity will cause your relationship to lose its specialness, and it can cause you to withhold trust, attention and harbor unforgiveness. When you get out from under all this negativity, it will feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
Final Thoughts on the Emotional Roller Coaster
Barton Goldsmith Ph.D. is a writer for Psychology Today. He states in recent writing that many people are afraid to leave relationships for a plethora of reasons. However, the most noted that some people become accustomed to emotional blackmail and think it’s a way of life.
When you’ve lived on the emotional roller coaster for so long, you might think that you’re the “crazy” one. Blackmail and manipulation often work this way, but you can decide that enough is enough. Stop calling your connection a relationship when it’s nothing more than emotional terrorism.
Sometimes, there’s too much pain to overcome. If you’ve stopped growing together and fight more than you’re civilized, you deserve better. It would help if you began to rebuild your esteem and self-worth so that you don’t ever have to live like this again.
Know your worth, and don’t let anyone take you for granted. Simply put, get a lawyer, and get out! There’s a whole world waiting for you, and you’re wasting your time on an emotional roller coaster that’s doing more damage than you will ever know.