Grief is an intense experience you shouldn’t try to suppress or ignore. It can hit you when you least expect it, and it’s best to allow yourself to feel the pain and cry it out. When you suppress the grief of divorce, it can worsen the situation and hinder your healing process.
When you work your way through the grief, it loses its power and control over your life. It will still feel all-consuming sometimes, but each process takes you another step in the right direction. There isn’t a magic solution to overcoming grief, and it’s a process that could take some time.
Sometimes, the thoughts and feelings that accompany being heartbroken make you feel like you can’t go on. You might feel like you can’t stop crying or like you can’t take care of yourself, but you will get through it. Remember that things will improve, though, and you are strong enough to get through this.
Ten Secrets to Heal from the Grief of Divorce
Ending a marriage also means changes in your daily tasks and events, making the grief overwhelm you at random moments. It’s hard to know what will trigger your emotions, but it gets more manageable, and there are some ways to overcome it sooner. Counselors have studied the situation and determined that grief is a natural reaction to divorce, and they’ve suggested a few ways to handle it.
1. Implement or Maintain Healthy Routines
Divorce causes many changes in your life, making it hard to think about healthy routines. The changes can throw you off and make it hard to stay grounded during the experience.
You can focus on taking care of yourself and improving your well-being with a routine. It doesn’t have to be complicated, and you can start with one or two new tasks in your routine.
Consider setting the alarm for the same time each morning, meditating, or eating breakfast. Adding one new aspect to your morning routine can help you make other beneficial changes, helping you feel better overall.
Implementing a bedtime routine is also highly beneficial when handling the grief of divorce. It’ll help you maintain your energy level and tackle your daily tasks.
2. Have Fun Despite the Grief of Divorce
When experiencing grief from a divorce, many negative memories will threaten to consume your thoughts. When you do things to have fun, it helps takes your mind off the negativity. Focusing on having a good time helps with the grief process in many ways.
The sooner you create new happy memories, the sooner you can experience joy again. You’re the only person who can fill your mind with positivity, so don’t waste any time before finding things to smile about. If you aren’t feeling up to doing much, even a walk outside can help you create a beautiful new memory.
Each time you experience a new moment of joy, it gives you more hope for the future. It helps you find a balance during a life change. You’ll find yourself laughing and smiling again, helping relieve the feelings of grief.
Without the bitterness of your loss overtaking your thoughts, your good memories won’t be ruined, either. One day, you’ll want to look back at the good times without having to experience the grief again.
3. Avoid Placing Blame
You won’t feel better if you waste your time and energy blaming someone for the divorce. It’s easy to blame your ex and think of reasons that the situation is their fault. Likewise, it’s easy to blame yourself and think of what you could have done differently.
While it is essential to reflect on and acknowledge your role, you can’t dwell on it. Use reflection for learning purposes only and move forward without blaming or judging yourself.
4. Stay Active to Manage the Grief of Divorce
You’ll have an easier time processing your emotions when your body is strong. Exercise gives you the energy to heal, promoting your overall well-being. Movement produces energy and strength, making it a beneficial way to handle the grief of a divorce.
If your body is weak and you don’t get moving, it’ll drain you physically, mentally, and emotionally. You’ll have difficulty focusing on how you can heal emotionally, hindering your grief process. However, staying active can help you feel better and overcome the situation.
You don’t have to do anything extreme to stay active. Keeping your body moving and blood circulating is easier than you think, and it prevents built-up emotions from being suppressed. Consider doing yoga or walking until you’re ready for something more.
Even low-impact exercise triggers your brain to release endorphins, hormones that promote happiness. You’ll quickly feel less anxious and depressed, helping you look for the good in your life again.
5. Write in a Journal as You Heal
Writing is one of the best ways to process your thoughts and feelings. You might write something vague at first, and suddenly it becomes multiple pages of words describing what’s running through your mind. It allows you to express your positive and negative thoughts, finding the balance that you desperately need during this time.
When you thoroughly process your thoughts, you’ll feel better and make more beneficial choices for your life. You have so much to work through during this time and need a neutral space to express your thoughts.
Forgiveness is essential to the healing process and doesn’t condone negative behavior. Many people resist forgiving themselves or their ex because they think it means they are okay with what happened. However, forgiveness means acknowledging bad things that happened, and you aren’t letting them control you anymore.
7. Practice Meditation to Be Mindful of the Grief of Divorce
Meditation is a broad term that describes the quiet time to reflect and contemplate your thoughts. You can make your meditation sessions formal or informal and do them anywhere. Make it a point to schedule time each day to meditate, aiming for the same time if you can.
Meditation helps you process your thoughts and feelings, and it helps you become more open with yourself and others. It promotes positivity and hope for the future, helping you move forward and develop new experiences.
8. Surround Yourself with a Positive Support System
When you fill your life with people who value and support you, it will help you handle the grief of divorce. Look for people who lift you and make you feel energized. Consider your family, friends, neighbors, support group members, or anyone who brings joy to your life and wants what is best for you.
As you look for your positive support system, try not to get defeated if you lose a few people. It’s common to lose touch with certain people after splitting up, including friends you share with your ex. However, you can find new people to surround yourself with without connection to your pain.
While you might want to be self-reliant, there are times when you need someone. Be open about what you need from your support system, even if you need some company at home. If you don’t want advice, make it clear that you only need someone to listen so you can process.
9. Don’t Rush Into Another Relationship
Healing from the grief of divorce takes time, and rushing into romance won’t help. You must take time to regain your sense of self and learn to be happy on your own. More adults than ever are single, and statistics show a boost in happiness and health in those people.
Take as much time as you need to get over the anger of your divorce because another relationship won’t allow you to heal. Plus, spending time single can help you be the best version of yourself in your future relationship.
10. Practice Self-Care as You Heal From Divorce
The best way to handle the grief of divorce is by taking care of yourself. Be kind and compassionate to yourself, just like you would do for a friend or loved one coping with a divorce. Focus on positive thoughts and eliminate negative self-talk.
Additionally, you must eat nutritious food and get plenty of rest. Stay active during the day and do things you enjoy that bring happiness. Most importantly, say “no” when you don’t have the energy or time to do something you don’t want to do.
Be patient with yourself throughout the process because grieving takes time. There’s no set timeframe, so keep taking positive steps forward and focusing on taking care of yourself. Part of self-care is admitting when you need professional help, so don’t avoid therapy if you’re having a hard time.
Final Thoughts on Counselors Reveal Ten Secrets to Handle the Grief of Divorce
Coping with the grief of divorce takes time, and there’s no set timeline for getting over it. You’ll have good and bad days as you process and overcome your emotions. Be patient and take care of yourself every day, doing things that bring joy to your life.
By following these secrets to handling the grief of divorce, you’ll stay on the right track each day. It won’t be perfect, as you have much to learn, but it’ll make things easier to handle.