Psychology Explains How to Declare Your Love to Someone Without Fear

Psychology Explains How to Declare Your Love to Someone Without Fear

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Why is it so hard to declare your love to the person who stole your heart? For many folks, it’s the fear of rejection. If you show your vulnerabilities and make such a bold statement, there’s always the chance that it won’t be well received.

What if the person isn’t head over heels about you, and you get rejected? Many individuals don’t know how to say that they love someone, especially when there’s a relationship at stake. Once you cross that proverbial line from friends to lovers, there’s no turning back.

Fear is a big reason why so many try to keep their feelings a secret, at least until they know that the other person feels the same way. If you keep putting off how you feel, then it’s going to make you miserable. Every time you see this person, your heart will skip a beat, and you will feel butterflies in your stomach.


Still, many find that when you declare your love, it feels like ripping a Band-Aid off a wound, and there’s instant relief. The situation has much to do with your feelings, as each instance and the people involved are different.


Saying “I Love You” Doesn’t Come Naturally to Everyone

Some folks can roll those three famous words off their tongue like it’s nothing, but other people have a hard time with the emotional vulnerability of it all. When you let your guard down, you feel very exposed and raw. It’s at this point when you’re the most vulnerable, and you’re afraid someone will take advantage of you and your heart.

Much of these feelings stem from your childhood. For instance, if you grew up in a home where you told your parents how much they meant to you before bed each night, then it’s probably not going to be that big of a deal. However, if you grew up in a home where emotions were rarely shown and people didn’t declare their love daily, you’re going to have a challenging time saying such things.

It didn’t mean that your parents didn’t love you, but they didn’t feel that words of affirmation were that important. Again, your parents were molded by what they learned, so if your grandparents aren’t emotionally open, they might pass down that trait. Don’t beat yourself up because someone can bump their shopping cart into another person and fall in love, and you’ve classified yourself as a cold fish.

Everyone is different. Your ability to love and be loved is no different than anyone else’s, but you need to learn how to express yourself appropriately.

Overcoming Feelings of Unworthiness

Many times, people feel like they’re unworthy of being loved. This can come from an abusive background, failed past relationships, or having a significant upheaval in your life. You should know that every person on this earth is lovable, no matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done.

People who have low self-esteem often find uttering these words difficult. Even if the other party tells you that they love you first, you may still find it challenging to get these sentiments out of your mouth. You need to learn to love yourself before you can ever love anyone else, and you need to know that everyone has flaws, but they’re still loveable.

You’re just as worthy of love as the next person. If you’ve done some bad things in the past or haven’t been so good in relationships, there’s nothing to say you won’t be different this time. It takes two people to mess up a relationship, and this time things may be perfect for you.

Five Ways to Declare Your Love Without Fear

When you declare your love to someone, the key is to get the nerves under control. Maybe you need to meditate before telling them, or perhaps, you need some wine and good food to loosen you up.

Whatever it takes to get you to let down your guard and subdue your fears, you need to do it. Here are some ways that you can declare your love without being fearful. Sometimes, an ice breaker is all you need.

1. Declare Your Love by Giving Flowers

Maybe saying those words face-to-face is just too much for you to handle. So, it would be best to allow a card on the flowers to say how you feel. Flowers put anyone in a good mood, and if you know your person’s favorite bouquet, then it’s going to surprise them even more.


You don’t have to go overboard with the card; you can say something like, “It’s time I tell you that I love you.” You can sit back and wait for the call. This takes the pressure off you and puts the ball in your court. It’s up to them at this point to say whether they love you too or want to be friends.

2. A Romantic Dinner Can Set the Stage to Declare Your Love

You don’t need a special occasion to declare your love for someone, as this is a pretty significant milestone in a relationship. Both men and women love a good dinner with candles and plenty of ambiances. Many folks like to make a big production of the first time they say, “I love you,” and they will celebrate this day to infinity.

If you’re a couple that will remember all these little anniversaries, then a nice dinner in a memorable spot is the way to go.

3. Keep it About Love and Don’t Make Future Promises

Dr. David Van Nuys from Psychology Today admits that he, too, had problems telling people he loved them. Often, individuals expect this declaration to follow a promise of life and commitment, but it doesn’t have to have all these additional connotations. You can tell someone how you feel without saying you will love them to infinity and beyond.

You don’t have to promise marriage or give a ring. Just telling someone how special they are to you doesn’t need to be any more than that. Dr. Van Nuys tells of his struggles in this department because he felt like he was not honest. When he wanted to tell someone how he felt, it didn’t always mean he was ready for the next step or a serious commitment.



4. Make Sure It’s The Right Time

Unless you’re off in the left field, most people know when there’s something extraordinary between you and the person you love. Though your heart can mislead you at times, you have a good indication of whether this person feels the same way.

Love is one of the most terrifying emotions you will experience, as it leaves you very vulnerable. If you’re a romantic person, you probably see fireworks, shades of pink and red, as well as growing old with someone, when you think about love. However, everyone won’t see things the way you do, which can cause issues.

There might not be the fantastic fireworks display, or there could be one that rivals the 4th of July. The key is to make sure you’re not rushing things. It’s not wise to make such declarations soon after you start dating, or the chances of being turned down are more significant.


5. Be Yourself

You want someone to love and care about you for who you are, so you need to show that to them when you declare your love. You feel you need to be everything the other party wants and more. However, you must be honest above all else.

If you start a relationship with false impressions of yourself or not being 100 percent honest, it can cause you many issues. Remember, you want to receive love for who you are, so that needs to be good enough.

You don’t need fancy dinners, candles, flowers, and gifts that cost more than you can afford to declare your love to someone. All you need is just to be yourself and show them how wonderful a gift you’re to have in this life.

Final Thoughts on How to Declare Your Love Boldly and Without Fear

Once you put your feelings on the line, you’ll expect a reply with the same sentiments. However, some folks need a little more time to make such a declaration. According to Little Things, some people are cautious about uttering those three words.


The good news is that once they feel safe enough to say them to you, you know how hard it was for them and how much they mean it. While you may be ready to declare your love, someone else may need more time. You must have realistic expectations of the outcome, even if it’s not what you want.

You must remember that this person’s background and previous relationships dictate a lot to the situation. If they declared their love before way too soon, they might be a little leery of repeating it. While you should never hide your feelings, tell everyone but the person, and think that you need to make a lifetime commitment with your declaration, you do need to have patience.


If it’s true love that you feel, there’s no need to rush things. Let everything happen naturally. After all, this could be your soulmate and the one your heart will love forever.


Deborah is a full-time editor, blogger, and children's book author. Her book series helps children with anxiety overcome the challenges in everyday life using kindness and courage. She holds a Bachelor's of Science degree in Secondary Education English and a Spanish minor from the Edinboro University of Pennsylvania and is a verified member of the US Press Association. Her commitment to mental and physical wellness transcends from her writing career into her daily lifestyle. When she's not working on one of her many writing projects, you will find Deborah working in her garden or advocating for the community gardening movement to help end hunger. She holds her master herbalist certification and is pursuing her Master Gardener certification.

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