12 Behaviors That Reveal a Damaged Relationship (and How to Fix It)

12 Behaviors That Reveal a Damaged Relationship (and How to Fix It)

damaged relationshipLifestyle

How do you tell if you’re damaged relationship is beyond repair? Are there specific signs you should look for, or is it a feeling that you get deep down in your soul? People get divorced and break up every day, but how can you fix what’s wrong in your relationship to make it for the long haul?

Twelve Signs of a Damaged Relationship

Below are some of the most ominous signs that there’s some serious trouble in your relationship. Additionally, there are ways that you can fix each one of these common issues. Every relationship goes through ups and downs, but it’s what you do in these downtimes that matters most.

1. Communication is Nonexistent in a Damaged Relationship

One of the essential things in a relationship is communication. When you don’t communicate with your partner, you open the door for speculation. You need to know what’s going on in one another’s lives outside of the home.

•How to Open the Lines of Communication

It would help if you made time to talk. Even if you need to schedule a half-hour each evening to catch up, make sure that you know what’s going on in their life. Never assume anything when it comes to each other, and you should make it a point to find out about their day.

2. Arguments are Plentiful

Sometimes couples get in a rut and argue just for the sake of arguing. You may not even know what you’re fighting about, but it’s the underlying tension that seems to spark debate.

•How to Keep Calm When You Argue

The next time you feel things get heated, walk away and take a breather. People often say things they don’t mean in anger, so it’s best to count to ten and come back and revisit the discussion.

3. There’s no Laughter in a Damaged Relationship

If you’re not laughing together, then things have become too serious. It would help if you laughed as much as you talked about bills, kids, and responsibilities.

•How to Restore Joy

Make an effort to watch a comedian, visit a comedy club, or view some funny videos on TikTok. It would be best to laugh together to help repair your damaged relationship. Even if it takes a trip down memory lane to make you chuckle, make sure you spend time laughing and bonding.

4. One or Both Parties is Harboring Hurts

It’s easy to be hurt after misunderstandings, dishonesty, or infidelity. Not communicating about things and letting your mind wander is another way that can creep in.

•How to Release Your Hurt Feelings

Never go to bed angry. Make a pact to talk everything out before you sleep, no matter how hard it is. If something is bothering you, you need to get it off your chest.

Sweeping things under the rug to deal with another day will only create more drama. One day, you will have no choice but to tear up the carpet and expose all the rubbish you’ve been avoiding.

5. Physical Aspects of the Relationship Have Died

If there’s no romance in your connection, it’s a sign that there’s a severe disconnect. If you were together for a long time, you would not be as hot for one another as you were earlier. However, if you’re not connecting physically, something is off emotionally.

•How to Rekindle the Spark

There needs to be some physical contact. You need to make time for hugging, kissing, cuddling, and intimacy. You need a counselor to help you navigate the lack of intimacy in your relationship, as there’s a significant underlying cause.

According to the Huffington Post, if you’re not intimate at least ten times a year, then your relationship is without intimacy. Sadly, most couples with this type of association don’t last long. The problem may be medically-based, or it can be trouble between you.

6. Avoidance is Common if You Are in a Damaged Relationship

When there are underlying grievances and other issues, many couples will avoid one another. You’ll take overtime at work to keep from being home, and they might make excuses to stay away.

•How to Confront the First Signs of Trouble

Don’t let days, weeks, or months go by where you slowly drift apart. When you see and feel this rift, you must call it out and get to the root cause.

7. Partners in a Damaged Relationship Often Push Each Other Away

There are many ways to push one another away, such as not spending time together, avoiding intimacy, or alienating one another from your life. The problem is that you’re purposely pushing the other person out, and they might keep going till they head out the door.

•How to Reconnect With Your Love

You’re together because you want to be together. There was a spark at one point, so you need to find out how to reignite the fires of passion. Take a weekend trip together where you talk or make a point to date your partner again.

8. You Never Hear a Kind Word in a Damaged Relationship

When things escalate verbally, it’s easy for your connection to become a toxic relationship. Remember your parents telling you that if you didn’t have a kind thing to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all? Well, if you’re calling names, getting angry, or being mean-spirited, don’t talk until you can calm down and chat.

•How to Make Your Language Kinder Again

When you’re being nasty with one another, it’s best to have a mediator help you see both sides. Having that third-party neutral person can be very helpful in allowing you to know where you’re wrong and what you need to do to fix it.

9. Lies and Deception

Are there lies and deceptions that have caused a damaged relationship? According to Psychology Today, there’s a high cost to being deceptive. Research has found that the seeds of distrust linger, and they may poison your connection.

•How to Sort Fact from Fiction and Move Forward

Remember that even a half-truth can cause all sorts of issues. You need to be upfront and honest, and if you’ve lied about something, you need to get it out in the open. There’s nothing hidden that isn’t going to come out eventually, so it’s better to hear it from you than someone else.

10. Feelings of Frustration

It’s completely normal to feel frustrated at some point in your relationship. However, when you think those frustrations bubbling up as they’re becoming too much to handle, it’s time to do something about it.

•How to Let Go of the Pain

Resist the urge to talk about your troubles to other friends or relatives, states an article on Psycom. The more you talk about something, the more power you give it. It’s better to talk about these frustrations with your spouse. Don’t bury your feelings but make a point each day to get things out in the open.

11. You’re Just Going Through the Motions

Sometimes you feel like you’re just going through the motions in your damaged relationship. However, it would be best to remember that you also feel this way while driving or working at times. It’s easy to become bored and need to spice things up occasionally, so you need to prioritize it.

•How to Refocus Your Attention on Your Partner

To fix boredom and routine, you need to do something unplanned or that you usually wouldn’t do. Rather than having taco Tuesday at home, why not visit a new restaurant you’ve wanted to try? Sometimes, you must change things and do the unexpected to keep your life from autopilot.

12. Partners in a Damaged Relationship Lead Separate Lives

By this point, you know that your damaged relationship isn’t going to make it if you don’t do something quickly. You’re living your life, and they’re living theirs. You two barely talk or spend any time together, and when you do, it’s probably surface things or arguing. This is a wake-up call that you’re growing apart and creating a wedge that might not be salvageable.

•How to Become One with Your Partner Again

When you get to this place in a relationship, it’s time to evaluate things. Is this relationship worth saving? Are there too many hurts and issues under the surface that are choking the life out of the two of you? It might be best to cut your losses and move on.

However, if you want to fix things at this point, it will take plenty of hard work and dedication. You will most likely need a therapist to step in and help you out, as things are at the breaking point, and you need professional guidance. The reason to have a relationship is to be together, and when you’re leading separate lives, you’re already making it loud and clear that you don’t need this person anymore.

Final Thoughts on Damaged Relationships and How to Fix Them

Don’t be so quick to give up on your partner because you hit a rough patch. If you’re together for any length of time, you’re going to experience the ups and downs that are part of life. The key is that you experience these things together and never stop communicating.

It’s effortless to take out life’s frustrations on the ones closest to you. However, it would help if you ran to them and not away from them. If there’s still love, a sense of commitment, and a willingness to try, you can repair your damaged relationship.

Deborah is a full-time editor, blogger, and children's book author. Her book series helps children with anxiety overcome the challenges in everyday life using kindness and courage. She holds a Bachelor's of Science degree in Secondary Education English and a Spanish minor from the Edinboro University of Pennsylvania and is a verified member of the US Press Association. Her commitment to mental and physical wellness transcends her writing career into her daily lifestyle. When she's not working on one of her many writing projects, you will find Deborah working in her garden or advocating for the community gardening movement to help end hunger. She is pursuing her Master Gardener certification.

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