Strolling through the rolling fields of life, some people are like lambs, while others tend to be more like goats. As the lambs peacefully munch on the green grass, the goats will often complain about the quality of their food. The goats represent those who have problems with chronic complaining, and they’re not always the easiest people to be around.
Why Chronic Complaining Will Ruin Your Relationships
When you give “goats” positive statements, they are quick to say, “Yeah, but…” and voice their criticism. These perpetually butting goats ruin the whole atmosphere at home, work, and on dates with their depressive, negative comments. If you are in one of these toxic relationships, you’ll succumb to the negative influence, or you will exit the relationship.
A study by the Psychoanalytic Review says that some people can become addicted to negativity. As with other psychological and physical addictions, relationships are often strained and broken.
Here are ten reasons why a grumpy attitude can spoil any relationship.
1. No One Likes to Be Surrounded by Negativity All the Time
Remember the old saying that nobody likes a party pooper? Think of a person who everyone seems to avoid. The reason may be that their chronic complaining is pushing others away.
When you are around somebody who is constantly bellyaching about something, you’ll notice that your mood is soon dampened. If all your other friends listen to the miserable whining, who will feel like celebrating and having a good time?
When you come into the room, do people tend to scatter or find an excuse to get away from you? Perhaps it’s time to check your attitude and listen to the words that come from your mouth. You may be smothering the positive vibes with your cranky fault-finding.
2. It Diminishes Your Gratitude
Most parents instruct their children that they can’t expect the Universe to give them anything else in life if they aren’t grateful for their blessings. When was the last time you had heartfelt gratitude for all the prosperity you enjoy? According to a study published by Psychiatry Edgemont, gratitude can positively affect your overall well-being.
Does a lack of appreciation and thankfulness result in a state of chronic complaining? Once you start counting your blessings, you may soon realize that they outweigh your burdens. One of the best ways to increase your grateful spirit is to keep a gratitude journal.
3. Complaining Keeps You Stuck in The Past
As you analyze your thought patterns and conversations, try to notice your verb tenses. Do your conversations usually relate to the past? Even when you’ve enjoyed a splendid childhood and early years, living in the past stalls your ability to be present at the moment.
However, if you constantly dwell on trauma and negativity in the past, you’ll exist in a perpetual loop. With each whine and grumble, you lose the blessing that’s before your eyes now. Plus, chronic complaining about the past can make you more apt to develop anxiety disorders and depression.
4. Negativity Brings About More Negativity
If you’ve studied the law of attraction, you realize that your attitude can draw more of the same to you, whether good or bad. Think of your life as planting a garden, and your attitudes and conversations are the seeds. Your life’s garden depends on the seeds you plant and how you cultivate them.
Negativity can be like an invasive vine. A few seeds can grow a stubborn plant that takes over the whole garden and chokes out the good seedlings. You can’t keep sewing negative thoughts and words and think you’ll get anything but a negative return.
When you want marigolds to grow, then you plant marigolds. You water, fertilize and ensure that they have proper sunlight. You are quick to snatch up any weeds that try to creep in the way. If you want positive things to come into your life, you attract them with a positive mindset. Negativity breeds negativity.
5. The Vicious Cycle of Pointing Fingers Is Hard to Handle
A problematic issue with chronic complainers is that they often refuse to own a mistake or fault. Instead of being responsible adults and accepting the blame for something they did, they pass the buck. You’ll often hear them blame others for any of their shortcomings or hurtful actions.
Their lives become a revolving door of bitterness and blame, yet they are faultless in their own eyes. They are quick to point at family, friends, and coworkers when they fall short on responsibility. Chronic grumblers blame events from the past instead of learning from them.
If this toxic behavior is left to its own, it will only lead to more frustration and more of the blame game. They are blinded by past bitterness and refuse to have the courage to apologize and make amends. For these chronic complainers, the future has nothing to offer but more negative backlash.
6. You Can’t Deal with What Life Throws at You
It’s been wisely noted that the only constant in life is that aren’t any constants. The very process of life includes growth, change, and coping with the unexpected. There are many things in your journey that are beyond your control.
Instead of moping and griping about what you can’t change, use your ability to change your attitude about these road bumps. Just as you must train your body to be physically fit, you can also train your mind for mental fitness. If you lie in the swamp of ingratitude and negativity, your mind will be defenseless against a crisis.
Strengthening your brain with positive thoughts and a good attitude will make a big difference when life throws a curveball.
7. No One Wants to Be A Part of Your Downward Spiral
Chronic murmuring and whining affect more than just the miserable person. Often, you’ll notice that their rotten attitude has bled over into their personal and professional life. Their partners may seem deflated, and the kids may take on a mopey effect. Coworkers dread being assigned to their project groups or working nearby.
Do you see this pattern in your life? You may be tangled in the blame-shifting game and think people are jealous and “don’t like” you. When you are honest with yourself, the blinders will be gone, and you’ll realize that your nitpicking and grumbling are to blame.
8. You Make Your Partner Feel Unappreciated and Unworthy
The need for love and appreciation is just as much part of human necessity as food, water, and shelter. However, some people think that if they provide their partner and family’s basic material needs, their job is finished. However, a person who constantly nags and criticizes their partner does nothing to provide esteem and spiritual needs.
How do you feel when your partner is always riding your back and finds fault with everything you do? It leaves you feeling sad, alone, and unworthy. You may feel that you can’t do anything that will make them happy, and the relationship lies in the ruins of love left undone.
9. People Will Stop Listening to You
Do you feel like people hear you but aren’t listening? True, some people have poor active listening skills. However, they may have given up on listening to those opinions laden with criticism and useless grumbling.
Even if you are an expert or have a lot of solid experience, people may stop listening because of your negative attitude. If you are grumpy with how you give instructions and then nitpick others to pieces when trying something new, don’t expect any admiration. Soon, the only person you’ll be growling to is yourself in a lonely space.
10. You Might Find Yourself All Alone in Your Unhappiness
When do you come to a dead-end road where nothing makes you happy? You protest and murmur about everyone and everything under the sun. As these by one become faded memories, what will be left? If nothing makes you satisfied, then the universe wants to make you happy and gives you that: absolutely nothing.
For some, this harsh realization is enough to clean up their lives and start to rebuild damaged relationships. It’s not a quick fix nor a task that’s easy to do. Sometimes, people need treatment options from a mental health professional to overcome chronic griping and a general lack of satisfaction.
Final Thoughts on the Negative Outcomes of Chronic Complaining
You are the only person in the world who is responsible for your joy. If you are drowning in a muck of fault finding and chronic complaining, then your personal and professional relationships will suffer.
It takes a loving eye and a grateful heart to look beyond the dark rain clouds and wait for the beautiful rainbow. If you dwell in the darkness and negativity of the valleys of life, it will affect you and those around you.