How to Be Confident (Even After You Fail)

How to Be Confident (Even After You Fail)

be confidentBetter Life

Confidence is something that is of the utmost importance. You want to be confident enough in yourself to try for the girl or guy of your dreams and to go after the job you’ve always wanted. However, it’s not uncommon for people to experience a dip in their confidence levels once they’ve had a failure.

You’re probably guilty of overthinking the error of your ways and wondering how you could have done things differently. Of course, you are more than the choices that you made, both good and bad. You’re a human being who is fallible, and you’re going to make mistakes.

If you’ve raised children, you know that learning to walk is one of the most exciting times in their life. You want to be there for their first steps and words. However, kids don’t just stand up and start walking across the floor. Instead, it’s a progression that begins with scooting, crawling, pulling themselves up on furniture, and then walking.

Now, how many times did your child fall when they were learning to walk? If you answer honestly, it’s too many times to count. However, the key is to be confident and keep trying every time they fall. Eventually, they got the hang of it, and there was no looking back.

Why do you think that you must be perfect and never stumble? These times of spending on the bottom are there to teach you lessons. You can never learn and grow when everything’s going right, but you must go through these darks storms in life to help mold and make you into something more significant.

How To Be Confident in the Face of Failure


It’s challenging to be confident in your abilities, even though you’ve fallen. Thankfully, history shows us examples of how we can rise in the face of adversity. Consider Colonel Harland Sanders, or what is commonly known as a KFC restaurant chain.

Sanders was a poor boy from Kentucky who had failed at almost everything he had tried in life. He fell more times than he stood, but it wasn’t until he was 65 years of age that his luck turned. He had the best chicken recipe and the desire to try once more.

The only problem was that Sanders only had $105 in his pocket. He went to 1,009 different restaurants trying to sell them on his famous chicken, but all of them turned him down. Down, but not out, he tried yet one more time.

Consequently, they changed the name to Kentucky Fried Chicken on the next try, and it was a hit. Sanders eventually sold the business for a mere two million dollars, but that would be almost sixteen million in today’s market. What would have happened if he didn’t believe in himself and his recipe so much to try one more time?

Sanders could have wallowed in his failures, but he chose to be confident and keep going. The rest of the story is history, according to Snagajob. Here are some ways to be confident when it seems like you’re at rock bottom more than you’re standing.

1. Be Confident By Changing Your Focus

Part of the reason people lose their faith when they fall is that they focus entirely on failure. Why not start focusing on the things you did right? Just because Colonel Sanders didn’t make a go the many times he tried, he still knew he had a good chicken recipe that the masses would love.

The key is to find the silver lining in your dark clouds and use that as the motivation and strength you need to keep going.

2. Surround Yourself With Support

Everybody needs a support system. It would help if you had friends and family that surrounded you with positivity. They can see the good in you even when all you see are failures. Remember the classic television show Friends?

This group of people surrounded each other and lifted one another even when life handed some horrible blows. This show is proof positive that you can accomplish anything when you have a robust support system surrounding you. While it’s just a program, the cast did become friends in real life.

3. Visualize a Winner to Be Confident of a Successful Outcome

While you may be down, you’re certainly not out. Stop seeing yourself as a loser and start picturing a winner. Do you ever daydream that you will be sitting in a comfy corner office running a company one day?

Daydreaming can be a powerful way for you to visualize your successes. It can help you to be confident enough to go after those dreams. Stop with all the negative self-talk and try using positive words and affirmations to lift your spirit.

4. Avoid Doomsday Scenarios

Since you’re human, your mind will automatically take you to the darkest places and picture the worst scenarios. The key is you must reprogram your brain towards a brighter future. The Huffington Post listed a story about those who have chronic anxiety from stress and worry.

They cited a study that shows that nearly 85 percent of the things you worry and fret over will never even happen. So, while you’ve had some failures, please don’t make it into a more significant situation than it needs to be. When your mind tends to ruminate about doomsday situations, counteract it with something positive.

5. Forgive Yourself

Why is it so much easier to forgive others when they fail you, but you can’t forgive yourself? Stop expecting so much from you, and you won’t burn out and become overly stressed. Tell yourself how sorry you are for all the extra pressure you’ve added and cut yourself some slack.

6. Stop Worrying About What Others Think

One of the most significant issues people find along life’s path is that they become overly concerned with what other folks think. It’s your nature to want to please people, but it can ruin your life. While you care about your parents, spouse, children, friends, and family, you cannot let them dictate your life.

If you find that someone is putting excessive pressure on you to be or do something you don’t like, you need to learn to stand up for yourself. You only need to account for yourself and your partner for your actions and choices, and everyone else should keep their opinions to themselves.

7. Find Empowering Meaning

Your brain categorizes experiences in your life and puts meaning to them. Neatly putting it into categories helps you to process things better. However, you have the power to override your automatic instincts and decide what meaning you want to give to circumstances.

After any failure, you will need to begin the process of rebuilding your self-confidence. Part of this process involves finding the meaning behind your loss and using it to empower you. Did you ever think that your failure could be helping you more than hurting?

It sounds crazy, but you have the power to decide what failure means. For instance, you can tell yourself that you learned something incorrectly, and now because of the setback, you’ve learned there’s a better way to accomplish your goals. Stop thinking that failure means you’re not good enough and start believing that it’s a way to learn and grow.

8. Remind Yourself of Your Successes

While you automatically put importance on the things in life that bring you down, why not turn your focus towards the successes? Even the tiniest success is still a victory, so why not turn your attention towards all the things that you’ve done right? When you feel those doubts and fears flood your mind, you remind yourself of all the times you won rather than the times you lost.

9. Develop a “Never Give Up” Mentality

The most significant part of the battle you face is in your mind. It would help if you changed your mindset from a dud to someone who doesn’t give up. Be confident enough in yourself that you believe that you’re going to win no matter the impossible odds.

Whatever the situation you’re facing, never give up! When you develop bulletproof resilience, you’ll learn you can stand even in the most turbulent times.

10. Be Confident by Understanding That Failure is Part of Life

Have you ever been to a wrestling match? These folks are trained to hit the mat or a proverbial rock bottom. The key is that it’s not if they will get up, but it’s all about when they rise again.

These individuals have strict training that teaches them resilience in the face of significant opposition. The next time you feel that life has you pinned to the mat and is about to declare you a loser, you get up! Sure, it’s going to hurt, sting, and not be the easiest thing you will ever do, but the fact is that you can pick yourself up and begin again.

Final Thoughts on Learning to Be Confident After a Failure

It’s challenging to regain your self-confidence after a devastating blow. However, the human spirit is something that’s not easily broken. Have you ever seen a rope that was made of three strands braided together?

That rope has a lot more strength than jute or twine. You’re as powerful as that cord because you’re composed similarly of three powerful strands: mind, body, and spirit. Isn’t it time you stop letting yourself wallow in the pain of defeat and pick yourself up and start again?

Kristen's mission is to uplift the planet! She is the CEO & Founder of Power of Positivity and Bestselling Author of The 3 Minute Positivity Journal. She started PoP in 2009 after hitting rock bottom and bouncing back using the power of positivity. Kristen has a background in social media and journalism since 1998. She is so passionate about helping others boost their mood, train their brain and improve their life. Her interests and hobbies include: spending time with her family, writing, health & fitness, nature, traveling and plant based nutrition. Kristen has dramatically transformed her life in many areas and has a strong desire to help others. Connect with her on social media!

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