The relationship rules that exist are just as important for the relationship we create with ourselves as it is for our relationships with others. Trusting, listening, communicating and most of all respecting ourselves is important to living in our truth.
You can’t be the best version of you without giving yourself the same respect we demand of others. The problem is that we don’t often see how we treat ourselves as either respectful or disrespectful. These signs will certainly help:
You may be disrespecting yourself if. . .
1. You’re saying yes to things that are not important to you or that you don’t have time for.
Respect your time and energy by spending it on projects and with people that matter most. We aren’t doing ourselves any favors by over scheduling our days and taking time away from the necessary self-care that makes us whole.
2. You present yourself as something you’re not in order to gain favor.
We’ve all felt the need to give our life a bit of a facelift in order to impress someone. We also know that we shouldn’t have to do it and yet, we do it anyway. It’s the ultimate sign of disrespect to ourselves to think who we are isn’t good enough. And if we aren’t good enough for them, the real truth is they aren’t good enough for us.
3. You often agree with what someone says only because you don’t want to offend them.
Our opinions matter and when we don’t express them, we are basically saying to ourselves and everyone around us that they don’t. If someone is offended by our honest and thoughtful opinions, then they weren’t really seeking advice, they were seeking a “yes” man. Show respect for you and others by expressing how you feel honestly and with kindness.
4. By putting your needs behind the needs of others.
We aren’t do anyone any favors by ignoring what we need in terms of rest, relaxation and overall self-care. We operate better, are more productive and emotionally stable when we are taking care of ourselves.
5. When you feel guilty for doing what is right for you even if it goes against the advice you’ve received.
Seeking advice has a place in our lives for sure, but it’s important to remember it’s only advice. Whether we are giving or receiving it, there shouldn’t be a personal affront when it isn’t followed. It only means it wasn’t quite right at that time. Don’t feel guilty for going against the advice you received and making a decision that feels right to you.
6. You don’t defend yourself by setting the record straight.
Nobody thrives on conflict and sometimes it is easier to just let things go. We have to balance that with defending ourselves. In order to respect ourselves, it’s important that people know the truth about us and the role we play in certain situations. Sometimes it’s correcting a wrong and other times it’s correcting a right. Either way, painting a clear and accurate picture is the ultimate sign of respect.
7. You regularly hide how you’re feeling.
We are creatures of feelings and emotions, but society has taught us to keep them hidden so as to not make others uncomfortable. You are disrespecting yourself everytime you say things are fine when they aren’t. Be true to who you are and more importantly how you’re feeling.
8. You overtly seek outside attention.
The only attention that truly matters is the attention we give ourselves. When we seek attention from others, we are simply looking for outside validation of something we probably already know. If you find yourself seeking the approval of someone else, look within and figure out what’s missing. Then go to work on filling the gap.
9. You constantly try to make others happy, essentially becoming their doormat.
We only have the ability to affect our own happiness and when we are happy, we want others to be happy too. The problem with trying to make others happier is that is we usually end up leaving them wanting, and as a result, we create a greater void on the inside. We can affect the greatest change by focusing on ourselves. As Mahatma Gandhi says, “be the change we want to see in the world.”
10. By surrounding yourself with bad company.
It is hard to be our authentic selves when we are hanging out with people who do not appreciate and share beliefs and values that help promote our true self. Take the time to find and grow with like-minded people that support who you are. It’s hard not to respect yourself when you are loved and supported.
Nobody sets out to be disrespectful to themselves, but so many automatic behaviors end up doing just that. Automatic responses to how we feel, not speaking our minds to avoid hurting feelings, and seeking validation from an outside source instead of within while seemingly harmless are forms of disrespect.
You don’t have to take the path to least resistance by ignoring your own wants and needs. Stand up for who you are and what you believe in a kind, but firm manner. That is the ultimate sign of respecting yourself.